Post # 1
I just need to get my rant on about this…
So, I’m sure most — if not all — of you are at least aware of TLC’s Friday Bride Day where they marathon anything and everything wedding basically all day. I’m currently partaking in the endless episodes of SYTTD and while doing so, saw a David’s Bridal commercial.
Now, I know it is just a commercial. I know I shouldn’t care about something so trivial as the marketing strategies of a bridal store, but DAMNIT I can’t contain myself. The whole commercial makes me so frustrated because it propagates what is, in my opinion, horrible wedding culture.
The commercial is basically a dude at the alter and his inner monologue about him being an “invisible man” and a “cog in a major production,” or something to that effect, because “let’a face it — this day is all about the bride.”
No. No, damnit no. It isn’t all about the bride. If it weren’t for the groom, she wouldn’t be a god damn bride. I hate this sort of thing because it pegs the groom as a secondary player in the whole affair. Even if the groom doesn’t do a lot of the planning because he isn’t bothered with the details, it maybe more of the bride’s vision, but the day is ultimately also still his day too. He is an equal partner in who the day belongs to. I often see a lot of bees on here with this mentality and I stay quiet about it, but it makes me so frustrated to see people that self-centered. And it makes me even more frustrated when these people are given justification, in the form of media and pop culture, for feeling/behaving the way they do about this being “their” day.
End rant. Sorry, guys. I had to get it out. I hope at least some of you share these feelings.
Post # 2
I agree. I was shocked the first time I heard that commercial. Of course the bride is usually the one who cares about the details and the planning, but she wouldn’t be doing any of that without the groom. So he’s 50% of the day, not 0%.
Post # 3
I dislike that sort of stuff for different reasons. I am not a fan of how much money the bridal industry expects us to spend and how it’s supposed to be the most important day of our lives blah blah. You NEED to spend at least $25K or your wedding sucks… etc. No thanks.
Actually, I find it pretty amusing that it’s the ‘bride’s day’. About freakin time women get something where men aren’t #1. Just saying. I totally agree that in theory it should be about both people (and for most people it really is about them both). Let’s face it, though.. men still make more for doing the same job (in some cases), up until recently societies across the world have been male dominated. So seeing women being #1 doesn’t bug me so much. And really, I think most men couldn’t care less about table linen colors and bridesmaid dresses so I don’t think most of them mind letting their bride call the shots.
Post # 4
canarydiamond: Oh, for sure. A lot of guys don’t care for the details — and that’s fine. I just mean like, the bride isn’t marrying herself. Even if it is not the most important day in their lives, it is certainly significant. As it should be. And ignoring all the bells and the whistles, it is significant not just to the bride, but to the groom as well. Because, you know, life long commitment, to love and to cherish, blah blah. So the fact that this is the “bride’a day,” according to this messed up wedding culture, makes it seem like grooms don’it give an eff about what their committing to.
While I totally get what you’re saying about, you know, it being about time that there is something where women are #1 since men, in most arenas, still come out on top despite the guise of equality… I just don’t think a couple’s wedding day is the appropriate scenario. Because again, it is the couple’s day. Not her day.
Post # 5
alt_bride: Totally agree!! Many things about the wedding industry tick me off!!
Post # 7
I remember seeing that commercial and going “uh. no.”
It’s ridiculous advertising IMO
Post # 8
alt_bride: FI and I went to an open house at one of the venues we were looking at and spoke to many of the venues there. As we were leaving and talking about who we liked and why, FI says, “I found a new game to play in this whole planning process.” I ask him to elaborate and he says, “It’s interesting to see who the vendors are talking to. Most of them were talking to you. A couple split evenly between the both of us. I don’t think any were specifically talking to me.” I had to think about it, but it was true. Almost all of the vendors spoke only to me, occasionally glancing at FI. I’ve determined that any vendor who’s only interested in me and not us as a couple isn’t one I want to work with. FI is a key player and deserves to be treated as such. You can’t ignore him and still get my business.
Post # 9
- Wedding: October 2013 - Dalhousie Castle
I think it be really weird for the day to be about only the bride and not about getting married. I do think it’s normal for the bride to do most of the organizing just because they care more about all the details. My groom was lovely on the day and thanked me for my hard work in organising most of it. Aww.
When it comes to equality, the thing that bothers me most is the proposal. I just hate the idea of women waiting around to be asked. Argh! It kills me. Women are no longer second class citizens and can do anything a man can do, but so many of us sit around and wait for the man to make the decision about when it’s the right time to get married. It just feels like waiting to be “chosen” and told your good enough so you won’t be left on the shelf. It just bothers me.
I’m not trying to critize anyone waiting or anything like that. I know some of the feelings myself. My husband and I decided together that it was time, but he wanted to do the traditional proposal so I waited in agony for the ring to arrive and him to do the asking. It was nice and emotional, but in some ways I would have preferred to just pick out a ring together, buy it and put it straight on my finger. Haha.
Post # 10
I almost wrote this same post last week when I saw that commercial for the first time. As far as I’m concerned it’s insulting to women because it isn’t (or at least shouldn’t) be a reality! It’s not very far to jump from thinking ‘It’s the bride’s day’ to thinking ‘She’s a bridezilla’ for people when this is ingrained into culture.
Post # 11
canarydiamond: I don’t think it’s really any more flattering to women than the fact that commercials for anti-aging products, shoes, kitchen appliances, and weight loss products are all aimed at us. It’s not like they’re saying “women are #1 in science and engineering!” Or “women are #1 in cancer research!” They’re just pandering to us because they know we’re the ones who are more likely to feel pressured to buy into the “pretty princess day”. It’s not really an empowerment thing, IMO…it’s a sales tactic and nothing more.
Just my $0.02.
And to the OP, I had the exact same reaction to that commercial.
Post # 12
alt_bride: I TOTALLY agree!! I remember seeing it for the first time and thinking “WHAAAAAAT???????” and even everytime after shaking my head. AND here this whole time i thought it was about the VOWS, UNION and LOVE between two people
Post # 13
mindy_pindy: I know, right? I thought a wedding was the celebration of a couple’s love and commitment to one another. Ha! I’m such a fool.
Post # 14
I was thinking the same thng about that commercial, “it’s all about the bride, and for the bride, it’s all about the dress”, thanks for explaining that to me, here I was thinking it was about love and commitment. I hate the concept of “my day”. I went for an awful hair trial, and they wanted to start the dya of the wedding at 9AM, I told them that I was worried that would be too early, and people would be tired. The hair dresser’s response? “It’s your day, you get your beauty sleep and just have your bridesmaids be there early.” Ugh.
Post # 15
- Wedding: December 2014 - Maui
I was in America over the New Year’s Holiday and I was actually watching the TLC wedding program marathon. It was the first time I had ever seen those shows. And I saw that David’s Bridal commercial and thought it was dumb too.