(Closed) I hate when I feel this way . . .

posted 7 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

We were in a semi LDR for a little while and skype/oovoo was the greatest thing! I highly recommend it 🙂

Post # 4
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

How long have you been together and how long has it been long distance?  Have you ever told Justin how you feel?  I’ve never been in a LDR, but I can imagine it can be really tough, especially w/out female companionship.  I can relate to you there.  My husband is around, but we just moved to a new place, so I don’t have many friends around.  I feel lonely even though he is here.  He works all the time because we are in a financial rut right now.  I’m currently unemployed, so I have too much time on my hands to think about things.  I’m really sorry you are feeling lonely.  It’s an awful feeling.  

Post # 6
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

@Silentlove: I’m glad to hear the distance is temporary.  Perhaps you can try getting to know his mom and sister more.  You can work on your relationship with them, so you feel less alone. It’s sad to hear that you feel ashamed to tell him.  I think it’s perfectly understandable to feel the way you do.  Why won’t he Skype?  It’s free and you guys can see each other.   

Post # 7
Member
600 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2006

I felt that way in our first stint of LDR and the only thing that helped was finding a good group of friends.  This time, I have tons of friends and can occupy myself with stuff for myself so I feel less needy of his attention/conversation/texts/whatever.  Are you anywhere near a larger city?  I would recommend getting connected with people and developing a social life for yourself or at least hobbies that occupy you.  If you’re interested in how I got connected PM me, I’d be happy to give advice or have online girl talk if you’re in a very rural area.

Also, I know exactly what you mean about hearing the depth of love in his voice, that’s what I love most about LDR!

Post # 9
Member
1325 posts
Bumble bee

@Silentlove: Get him to skype with you! He can drop his WoW to skype with you. Why don’t you play WoW anymore? You two could interact with each other that way. Play together.

Post # 10
Member
2408 posts
Buzzing bee

i’m in an ldr myself and i understand the lonliness you feel. my bf and i don’t talk as often as we did in the very beginning of our relationship [we’re 6 years in now] and lately i had been feeling those lonely pangs. he’s not a big phone person so it’s not a natural thing for him to call or text as much as i do and sometimes we missed skype dates because he’d accidentally fall asleep [he’s 3 hours ahead of me] or something would come up. it bothered me and i always meant to talk to him about it but i’d forget when we would talk because i was just so grateful for that connection.

but i broke down and confessed to him exactly how i felt. i pretty much unloaded several months worth of frustration and tears on him and it was a shock for him to hear because he didn’t realize that i was dealing with this but he has been incredibly supportive since our talk. he understood that he had to step outside his comfort zone a bit to include me in his life and has been texting and calling a bit more and has worked harder at keeping our skype dates since our talk.

if you’re feeling this way, by all means TELL HIM. he can’t read your mind and he won’t know unless you speak up. don’t feel ashamed. it’s how you feel and it won’t get better until you address it. you can’t address a problem you refuse to acknowledge.

Post # 12
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Silentlove: I was in a long distance relationship with my ex-high school sweetheart for more than 3 years, then in a LDR with my FH for 2 years. 

For some people who have the computer and camera to pull it off, skype helps a lot. I’ve heard this from a lot of sources, but my computer wasnt quick/fast enough for it at the time

Second, Always know when you will talk on the phone next. It sounds like you have a pre-set time each week, and keep that going. 

Third – Kow when you are going to see him next (in person). It helps with insecurities and gives you a date to look forward to. 

Otherwise, if you hope the two of you will be together – keep yourself busy working on those things you would want to have in place to build a more solid relationship, whether its an education for a career, building a successful career, saving money, etc 

It’s best to keep yourself extremely busy when in an LDR. 

 

 

Post # 13
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’d recommend going back to WoW, if you’re doing everything else you want to and still have time to think yourself down.

I’ve had a very busy year at school and I’ve done the whole girlfriend-does-homework-while-boyfriend-raids thing, and it sucks, and makes me feel distant from him, even if it’s just a couple of nights a week. I mean, if there’s no joy in the game for you at all, don’t do it – but if you want to get away from your old identity there, why not sign up for a trial, level up a new toon for a little while, and see how it goes?

Also, the GoogleTalk standalone program is a great internet phone and a very easy switch from Vent after the raid – my boy and I couldn’t live without it. It’s much lighter and simpler than Skype, and plain voicechat is a lot easier to run constantly than videochat. We watch movies with it running in headsets and often eat meals together. Nuts, I know, but it helps us feel close. Any random crap that can be done on the internet can be done together! *cough Dragon Age facebook game cough*

Sorry if I recommended stuff you already do – it really sounds like you two just need more time together.

Edit: On a side note, I’d love to hear how you made hardcore enemies in WoW. You sound very sweet – so it must be a good story! *grabs popcorn*

Edit edit: YES, as tea said, communicate!

Post # 15
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Silentlove: Sounds like a plan. I’m a pretty laid-back person on WoW the last couple years, but I have had some awful experiences with slippery female guild members. I think everyone needs to chill out to a point about everyday drama, but backstabbing, two-facedness, jealousy, etc… so hard to deal with.

Do you think your SO might transfer servers with you? I mentioned it more as a potential bonding activity than as a time-burner – I don’t think you should feel like it’s an imposition to suggest it, considering the relationship. But then again, if it’s a guild he’s been in for a few years on a low-progression server, he probably won’t want to leave. I don’t know. I just feel like you should be able to get some quality time out of the deal.

I’m a little worried about your statement, “I may accidently write something and it comes across wrong and that’s the end”… I’m not positive you meant the end of the relationship, but I sure hope it’s not really that shaky. You should feel pretty safe stating your mind to your boyfriend, even if it’s not the most positive stuff you’ve ever said.

The topic ‘I hate when I feel this way . . .’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors