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well you didn't give us much to go off of. Is she being picky and putting her opinion out there too much? Is she refusing to pay for things?
I have to ask: why are your fiance's sisters in law part of YOUR bridal party?
I honestly tried to confront my fsil and now she isn't coming to the wedding. Granted I think it's more peaceful around now BUT maybe your FI should talk to her. Just keep to keep you a stress free bride. It was a lot to deal with on my end.
She is being picky. dramatic about the prices of the dress. and has little remarks to offend my fiance and I. Not all remarks to do about the wedding, but LITERALLY picking fun at us for having a lot of animals. Making fun of my style. etc
she is also naggy about the dead line of the bridesmaid dresses!
"Did you find one yet" "No" "Oh uh"
@KristenGotMarried: I am very close to his brothers and they are a very close family. I am GOOD friends with his sister in law and that only left one person out--THE OTHER SISTER IN LAW. His mom said it would be rude of me not to have her in it.
@JRL2012: Not a good idea. My fiance is hot headed and does not like her. It would end with him and his brother in a battle and that's not fair to him.
Maybe ask my mother in law to talk to her? My MIL understands how rude she can be sometimes. I actually have random people see her post on my FB and ask who she is because some of her posts are so rude!
No offence, but why don't you ignore it? If she's really being a jerk, tell her she's not invited to the wedding and obviously won't be a part of your bridal party. I really don't know why you would continue to put up with it when it is obviously a source of stress. You're going to have to either do something about it or put up with it.
@mcklough: I only asked her because my MIL said it would be rude to not ask her.
They had a previous convo and she said she couldn't believe I didn't ask her yet.
I was assuming that was her wanting to be in the wedding but maybe I am wrong?
@ViaMinorViator: Easier said then done when it is family. I will be the bad guy! Then my fiance's brother and my flower girl will not come!
I am just wondering if there is a nice way to address it other then telling her she is just plain RUDE
You said she complained about the dress cost....just curious how much is it?
IMO. I wouldn't butt her out of the whole wedding. I'd just offer her an out of the bridal party
@jpalm13: $218.00
I have stated to my mother before that I have bridesmaids that are on MUCH lower income then her. My MOH's picked the dress and ironically I liked it so it worked out well.
@MrsDeGree: I mean that's high for my area but we are a verrrry depressed region but it doesn't seem crazy high. I'd just offerAyer an out if she doesn't feel she can afford it. If shessays she can, tell her to get on with it!
People are very sensitive about weddings, even when it is not their own. She could have been offended that she wasn's asked right away (and she may also have a feeling that she was asked only for the reasons you mentioned). I would ignore her comments and change the subject when she is being rude. Some people really like drama and create drama for attention. It seems that she is searching for attention, so if you ignore her rudeness your point will be taken just as well sometimes as if you had said something.
You cannot rationalize with crazy people and it seems that she will just create more drama if you say something. If she is totally out-of-line, I would asked her not to be in the wedding. This will be a cannonball of drama with the rest of the family, which is why you should try your hardest to ignore her, or start drinking. j/k. Best of luck. Sorry she is being difficult and do your best not to let her ruin your special feelings about your day. A lot of people get jealous instead of happy for the person in the spot light.
@jpalm13: Up here i think the price is fairly average!
My MOH were trying some on that were $350.00
Good thing I didn't say yes, or she probably would had killed me.
@frenchie427: Thanks. I try to think that there is something wrong to why she's so angry! I sympathize with her, at the same time but I can't get stuff done when I'm burning up everytime she says something rude!
I will try drinking....MORE. lol ;)
I had my FSIL in the bridal party too but I was close with her until she moved to another country for work a few years ago. And mainly because I know she has never been a BM before and wanted to be one once. Not to mention my FMIL mentioned it causally once after we got engaged. It seemed rude if I turned her down for my wedding (long story short, FSIL picked me as her backup BM for her wedding if one of the gals can't come, and I eventually replaced one of the BM).
I probably would have picked my friends/cousin first before her since after all she is the groom's side family, but I am okay with it since I have a few BMs for my wedding.
You know what...if your SIL is in because of the "family-relationship" reason, then so be it since you can't say no anyway. But I will place as little work on her as possible since she hasn't been supportive. And don't let her comments ruin your experience. She wanted to get to you but if you keep ignore her, she will find it no purpose sooner or later and get bored with it.
If she can't take it she will eventually back out. Otherwise she will have to suck it up.
Why not give her an out if she complains about the cost of the dress? If she complains that she does not like it or that it is too pricey, you could tell her that if it is too much for her you understand if she declines to be a bridesmaid, but that she can still be there for you on your special day. That way if she does not want to be one, it is her opp for an out!
@MrsDeGree: Than yes def go the MIL route. It's horrible that you are put in this position and I know it's hard. I just don't want it to come back on you :) Good Luck!
@frenchie427: That's not a good idea at all; it is the same thing as kicking her out. If it really IS too much for her, the maid should remove herself, not get the option to.
OP, you are not in a position to judge someone else's financial situation. $218 is a lot of money, no matter what area you live in. I live in Boston, where things are super expensive, and I would balk at that amount.
Did you ask the bridesmaids each their individual budget before deciding on a dress? Yes, as the bride you may dictate their dress, but you must respect their budgets.
Yes she told me $200. I even offered to pay the other $18. I am one to judge her finances when she spend $350 on a bm dress in February of last year!! If that weren't the case then I would feel bad!
In the planning of asking my bridesmaids/MOH I made sure they knew it was going to be an expensive wedding so if they couldn't afford it I would not be offended! (in other words,it would be fancy!) I said that only because before I even had my wedding party picked out the wedding was already up to 10k! I did not want anyone to feel like they HAD TO! We agreed on budgets and I didn't know $18 was gonna break the bank! I HAVE 6 other bridesmaids that were thrilled we could even find something that cheap or that we found anything after 3 straight weeks of shopping!
I am by NO means snobby! But if she would had came to me with a good heart and just said she couldn't afford it, I would had been HAPPY to find something cheaper.
@MrsDeGree: It doesn't matter what she did in February. That was then, for that wedding. You don't know if that was more than she could afford and she learned a lesson from it or if her finances were different.
Did she say $200 for the dress or for the wedding? My girls had a $200 limit, but that was for anything they needed to buy (dress, shoes, accessories, and alterations). Not just dress.
I live in the Boston area and my BM dresses are knee length and cost $136, and everyone considered that a cheaper price for BM dresses. A lot of BM dresses, especially the long gowns were up around $200. My MOH was excited that we found something with a lower budget, but has paid a lot more for dresses in other weddings ($200 plus, up around $300 with alterations in a few weddings she has been in).
I think that the fact that you were upfront about the cost of the dresses was a good thing because your girls know what to expect. Of course, finding a dress that is lower in cost will make everybody happy.
I still think that there is no pleasing this girl though, so I wouldn't waste too much energy on her. Pick the dresses you like that are a fair budget, and if she buys it she buys it --if not, you're in luck!
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I can't say I have never liked her because there are times I do.
My wedding party consists of my sister, my sister in law, 2 friends, and my fiance's sister in laws! One of the sister in laws in so rude!!!!
She does little things just to piss me off. She is ruining the planning of my wedding and I do not know how to address it! But, I need to before she ruins my experience! Any suggestions?