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I have a bridesmaidzilla! (just need to vent)

posted 3 months ago in Bridesmaids
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    1.
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    Buzzing bee
    BoiledPNut    April 2012  

    Seriously this girl is driving me bonkers.  She is acting like this is her wedding and not mine!  For starters, she is freaking out about her hair.  I hired a girl to come do our hair (if they want) and she's like-I'm going to need at least 3 hours for her to do my hair.  She does have really curly hair, but 3 hours??  I emailed the girl I hired and she said she's not worried and it won't take that long, but my BM is still insisting that it is.  I told BM that she doesn't need to worry so much about her hair because it's a pretty casual wedding.  She can just pull it back for all I care.  Oh no, she must have it blown out, curled and put in an updo.  She is mad because there won't be a hair trial that she can come to (I live 9 hours away from the wedding place). Who ever heard of a BM needing a hair trial??

    My MOH was trying to plan a shower for me and wanted to reserve a room in the back of my favorite restaurant back home (a very casual place).  BM was not having it.  She said we needed brunch with mimosas and cucumber sandwiches and china and real silverware and we'd do it in her parents' ballroom (yes, they have a ballroom on their house).  That is SO not me!  MOH tried to tell her that, but BM was not budging.  Needless to say, the shower ended up not working out (couldn't make it down).  It's probably a blessing in disguise.  

    BM took the Friday before the wedding off (as did her husband) since it's about 2 hours from where she lives.  I asked all the BMs to help us decorate if at all possible before the rehearsal on Friday night.  BM said they check in to their room at 4 and will come help decorate after that.  Um, the rehearsal is at 5:30.  If you have the whole day off, why can't you come earlier and check in after we decorate?  That would give them time to get settled in before the rehearsal.  Their hotel is only 10 minutes away.  Everyone else is coming early to help, so why can't she?!

    On a NWR note, she went off on me the other day because I fussed at her for taking an obscene amount of multivitamins.  She has been eating like 8 gummy vitamins a day.  She kept trying to tell me there was no way to overdose on vitamins and blah blah.  This girl has no science or medical training btw.  So I found a report from the poison control saying that over 60,000 people overdosed in 2004.  She was like-what is your problem?  Why are you being so aggressive?  I don't do aggressive.  I told her that I was worried about her and she obviously wasn't listening to what I was telling her, so I provided proof that I was right.  She told me never to do that again and basically put rules down for our friendship.  WTF??

    I'm really dreading the wedding weekend because of her.  I don't think she gets that this is not about her and she can't be dictating how everything is going to go!

     
    2.
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    Buzzing bee
    BoiledPNut    April 2012  

    Shameless bump for advice!  How do I deal with her???

     
    3.
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    Bumble
    Beekeeper
    KatNYC2011    September 24, 2011   London, UK (american expat)

    Yikes... I don't really have any advice on how to deal with her.

    Are you or your FI close with her husband? Maybe you could go through him to calm her down a bit?

    I didn't answer earlier because I didn't really have any advice, she sounds a little out of control.

     
    4.
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    772 posts
    Busy bee
    ViaMinorViator    November 26, 2011  

    She sounds like she's used to getting her way.  She also sounds entirely too high maintenance for my liking.  I'm not really good at dealing with people like her because I am a very, very blunt person.  If it were me, I would end up saying something like "Hey, could you screw your head on straight and try to remember that this is MY wedding and not yours?  Also you're bossy, aggressive and temperamental and quite frankly, I'm not sure if I feel comfortable having someome like that in my wedding party"

     
    5.
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    Buzzing bee
    BoiledPNut    April 2012  

    @ViaMinorViator:  Aww man, I love this!  Seriously, I've had it with her and the next time she does something I think I'm just going to be blunt like that!

     
    6.
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    Helper bee
    ffemt    October 12, 2013  

    I would just tell her how it is.. It's your day not hers. Tell her she can be like that for her wedding, but for this time its about you and ur FI. You can't let her ruin your wedding day

     
    7.
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    174 posts
    Blushing bee
    ChefDori    October 24, 2012   Virginia

    @ViaMinorViator:  My words exactly!!

    Good luck with her. 

     
    8.
    43 posts
    Newbee
    OBXbrideNC    October 13, 2012   Chocowinity,NC

    She is just high maintenance.  At least she did try to do a shower for you, some bridesmaids don't even do that.  But as far as her hair etc., then tell her to hire her own girl to come and do her hair.  Sounds like she should have enough $. 

     

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