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I have a question ....

posted 4 years ago in Beehive
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    Helper bee
    reilabird    August 9, 2008   Orange County

    Is it horrible of me to not go to the funeral of my fiancee's great aunt.  We'd have to drive 2 hours for a viewing, but I've only met her once and he is not really close to her.  I would feel uncomfortable being there.  Any thoughts.

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    Bumble bee
    amysue    6/6/09  

    Well, if your fiancee is going and wants you there to support him, I'd be more inclined to tell you to go. He might want it as an opportunity to introduce you to other family members that you haven't met yet. He might also want you for some emotional support, if not from being upset about his great aunt's passing, then from having to deal with all that familial stress. Is there a specific reason you'd feel uncomfortable? Do you think it's inappropriate for you to go, for some reason?

     
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    Worker bee
    peaches    August, 2008   CA

    Hmmm...it sounds from your post that you don't want to go because its inconvenient for you and would make you feel uncomfortable.  You didn't mention your fiance's thoughts on this, or whether or not he's going/wants to go.  This is just my opinion, but I think because its your FI's family member that passed away, your going isn't about you, but more about him and just being there for him.  Even if he wasn't that close to her.  Also, my guess is, his family members would notice if he were to show up without you and start talking.  That would put him in the awkward position of making excuses for you.  Those are just my thoughts, so hopefully you don't take offense.  Honestly, I think I would feel uncomfortable like you and not want to go (this happens to me with some of FI's family events), but in the end I would just go, because I know he would do the same for me.

     
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    Helper bee
    reilabird    August 9, 2008   Orange County

    thanks everybody.  my fiancee said he didn't care if i went or not, i guess i'll be going just to support him.     

     
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    Busy bee
    GetMarried4Less    November 1st, 2008   SC

    yeah. definitely go with him if he's going. if you weren't going then they'd all wonder why you weren't there and that may put him in an awkward place of explaining your wherabouts.

     

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