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In my last post I wrote how I had gone ring browsing with my SO and I have a good idea that the proposal is coming soon, just not exactly when,where or with what ring.
So my question is, did any of you know that it was coming soon and still were you surprised. A few people have told me that because I went and we (SO and I) pointed out what we like and didn't like together in rings means the surprise is already ruined for me. I'm more referring to the surprise of the timing, not necessarily the surprise of what the ring looks like.
I kinda feel that even though i'm anxiously awaiting it and know its going to happen that still doesn't mean I will know for sure. I just want to ease my mind, cuz they've slightly worried me into thinking its ruined for me.
Well, I had gone ring shopping with my hubs about a year before we got engaged! So, in theory, I should of been surprised. I don't think ring shopping takes anything away from the experience. If anything, it just ensures that you'll be as happy as possible because you assisted in his choice. You are wearing the ring forever afterall. In my case though, I wasn't surprised by the actual proposal because he made is beyond obvious. He was excited/nervous, he just couldn't help but drop hints along the way, silly guy.
I was in the room when he bought the ring, so it wasn't exactly a shock!
He did make me sweat for a couple days and then totally surprised me by saying he was taking me out for dinner, then taking me tot he airport to get a plane he had rented. While we were flying, he proposed!
Later, I teased him that I would have been in a tough spot if I had wanted to turn him down. Who says no to the person flying your plane!
I went with my FI and picked out the exact ring and stone with him, and I was still completely surprised when he asked. Mainly bc I had suggested our plans, and my dad was out of town (FI's a traditionalist and wanted his blessing) so I was convinced it WOULDN'T be the time.
Unknown to me he had spoken to my dad before he left town, and new I would be expecting it if he planned a dinner or date, so he bided his time until I suggested a picnic and took advantage because he knew I wouldn't expect it.
Further, the ring looked different with the stone we picked vs. the stone in the store so I was still surprised at the final presentation. I didn't know what he was going to say so that also was a surprise.
Don't let people get you down. If all goes as planned it's the one piece of jewelry you'll wear every day of your life the rest of your life. Why shouldn't you have an opinion on what it looks like! Leave it to him to still surprise you :)
Oh! I don't think it is ruined at all! My FI and I had gone and looked at rings initially, then he decided to go to the same jeweler as his dad and his dad's dad, and thought he could handle picking a ring I would like, but then included me in picking the setting... but he picked the center stone so that was the element of surprise for the ring. He wanted to make sure I got what I had dreamt of. I had no clue when or where the engagement was supposed to happen, and it was still a HUGE surprise! I had no idea that he had been planning the evening for a long time and I definitely did not expect it at all! I think it is a surprise whether you kind of know its coming by knowing you looked at rings or have no idea. Don't worry about it! You'll get a lot of criticism from people along the planning process, all that matters is that you and your SO are happy!
Congrats on your future engagement!
I picked out my ring, and my DH still surprised me. Also, I knew when the ring was supposed to come and I was still surprised!
So he ordered the ring in at the beginning of July last year, and I was a bad, bad, bad GF and broke into his email account to find the day of shipping. Well there was a problem with the ring, it didn't meet QC, so they had to ship a new one, and the day I thought it was going to be there (the 28th), looked like it wasn't coming until the next day (the 29th).
So I wasn't expecting anything on the 28th, but that's when he proposed! And I was completely shocked, not just because of the day, but also because of the way he proposed.
He chartered a bus from the university we both went to and had "Will you marry me?" on the header. So it was pretty important that the ring got there on the right day. He later told me the story, but I never 'fessed up that I peeked in his email, oops!
So long story short, I even knew the day the ring was coming, but was still surprised, lol!
My fiance and I had talked, and he had a timeframe (mine) to propose in that we were getting near the end of, and we were leaving on a trip that I strongly suspected he would ask me on, and he STILL managed to surprise me. And I'm very hard to surprise. He proposed the night before we left when I got home from dropping the cat off at my parents'. He said he had a little surprise in the computer room. I thought he got me a new router. He had a whole slideshow thing set up, and flowers (that I didn't notice until after) and I didn't have a clue until Will you marry me? flashed on the screen. You can still be surprised.
No offense but tell them to.shut.it.
People giving you THIS idea is going to ruin it LOL I picked my ring out and knew it was coming but didnt know when. NOTHING WAS TAKEN FROM ME. I was still just as happy and cried!
I had NO idea he was going to propose. We had talked about getting married once or twice but never in any detail. I also never presured him into it. We had looked at rings once (about 2 years before the proposal).
When he did propose he had picked out the ring on his own, asked my Dad which I had NO idea about, and the propsed one day while laying on the couch. I was SHOCKED.
I don't think it's even close to ruined. In my case I ruined the fun of several events because I really thought he would propose at them. In the end he proposed at the end of a long weekend out of town during our 2 year anniversary. By the end of the weekend I had given up hope that he would propose, so I was totally shocked and excited. I think that I still would have had the same reaction even if he'd been able to go with his original plan and propose earlier in the weekend. The moment they pull out the box or get on one knee or whatever makes it obvious they're asking is it's own super awesome shock and awe moment. No amount of foreknowledge will take that away.
My number one advice to anyone who is engaged, about to be engaged, or actually in any stage of anything is DO NOT listen to other people. :)
I knew, and it was anything but "ruined". People do not know what it is like to be "you".
We went ring shopping (many times) and talked about it all the time - and I still felt completely surprised. I had a hunch it was coming (FI was just acting strange) - and when it happened - it wasn't one of those unexpected types of surprise - it was more of a shocking-I-Can't-Believe-this-is-actually-happening type surprise.... and it was completely wonderful. Don't worry about what the other people are saying - it will be the most perfect moment for you... just watch and see :)
Thank you all so much! I feel a lot better and enjoy reading everyones stories!
haha well I can tell you it's not! We went ring shopping back in March and he actually bought the ring, and I am STILL waiting!!!!!! So, I'm sure it'll be a surprise because really, who knows how long you will be waiting. Chances are if you're getting married, you've already discussed timelines anyways so whether you went ring shopping or not, you would have an idea that a proposal would be coming up in the near future depending on your timeline that was discussed.
So many times I thought, "omg this is it, he's going to do it here" and it never happened LOL.... so be prepared for a lot of that!
i didnt go rign shopping with FI, but i knew HE had been ring shopping last spring/summer... we were buying our first home... and i knew it was going to happen *SOON* and i was actually really sad that i prolly wouldn't be surprised :P
however, FI pulled it off! proposed during our final walk-through, i had NO idea... :)
I knew it was coming, and I can't say I was really surprised when he did ask. But it wasn't about the surprise. It was about the question and commitment. The proposal was wonderful, regardless of whether or not he sprang it on me like a hunter going for his prey.
We hadn't gone ring shopping together, so I didn't know what exactly I would be getting for a ring. He actually asked several months before I thought he would, but he was acting strange and gave himself away. There were elements of "surprise," but I was cognizant of what he was doing the entire night of the engagement...the really nice dinner he wouldn't tell me about, going to the beach wearing nice clothes with a blanket, nervousness, etc. He said some wonderful things to me that night, and I can remember the moment he asked me vividly. Basically, nothing was ruined and it was beautiful. Don't worry about it. :)
Oh, you'd be surprised at how surprised you can be. I knew my FI was having a ring made and planned to give it to me at any moment, but he still managed to do it in a way that I didn't see coming at all, and was romantic and special. Don't underestimate your guy...he probably has a few good tricks up his sleeve. Enjoy!
We had gone ring shopping together. I didn't know exactly when, where, or how he would ask. Nothing was ruined. And oracle said it right-- You can't beat the I-CAN'T-BELIEVE-THIS-IS-ACTUALLY-HAPPENING feeling!!
We had gone ring shopping together and ended up having my ring custom designed. Since I knew it was coming and I knew him so well I figured it out during the day of the night in which he proposed. Still I had no clue how it would be done or what he would say. Whether you know it's coming or not, nothing can possibly take away that feeling of when the person you love more than anything in the world gets down on one knee and asks you to be his wife. I don't think knowing that he is going to propose takes away any of the joy you will experience.
Its not ruined at all! I picked out my ring but he didn't buy it that day. About two weeks went by and I honestly completely forgot about it BC that had been our 3rd time ring shopping. Well then I opened his sock drawer and there it was! A little box with the name of the jewlery store on it! i was very upset that I found it and I thought it was completely ruined for me! Plus I was mad that he really didn't make any effort to hide it! It was just sitting right on top of the socks Haha silly boy. The very next day he told me that our son had a present for Me (we already had a 2 year old son together)well me son walks up to me and hands me the little box! I was so surprised even though I picked out the ring I liked AND EVEN FOUND IT the day before. So don't worry its not ruined and even if you do know when its coming its the actual proposal that's the special part not necessarily the surprise.
I knew it was coming and it was still a wonderful surprise! He proposed in a way that I didn't see coming, and most of our friends and family didn't know he was going to propose, so it was a surprise for them as well! I think doing that way is more common these days than a 100% surprise.
I was completely surprised when we got engaged. The whole event was so extravagent that I honestly didn't think it could be any more.
We looked at rings once... then a year passed and we were still not engaged. All of my friends got engaged at least 6-8 months after they went ring shopping. So you never know when it will happen and you will be surprised.
We went ring shopping together to get ideas, then I pulled the money out of our joint account for him to use. He had a pretty obvious hiding spot for the money so I knew the second it disappeared. I was STILL surpised when he proposed. I had an idea that he was going to propose, but I dont think you every know for sure. I had a lot of "Is this it" moments while I was waiting!
I don't think that picking out the ring together ruins anything! It just ensures you a better chance of getting a ring you love, and it gives your fiance an idea of what you like. My fiance had to literally DRAG me into a jewelry store with him because he wanted ideas... unbeknownst to me, he had bought my ring a month earlier, and he just wanted assurance that I would like it! I had told him the whole time that I wanted something white gold and simple, nothing too big.... And with the exception of the white gold, he got the opposite! I'm not complaining though :-)! The proposal itself, he came to town the night before for my dad's permission, and kind of gave that away when I called him. Then the next day (my birthday), he planned this whole day for us and carved his proposal into a rock wall at a park just outside of town!
Needless to say, I was pretty surprised... even though he kinda gave it away! So just because you know the ring is coming sometime in the future, doesn't mean the proposal itself won't be something spectacular!
I was completely surprised! We went together to pick out rings. He would tell me that he when he would go up to the jewlers to make payments. Little did I know that he had it for a month and a half and was lieing to me about making payments. He wanted to talk to my dad first. And a couple days before he asked he told me that he had to make about 3 more payments. The next day he asked me to marry him. I couldn't be happier. I was crying and was very surprised even though I knew it was coming. I just didn't know it was so soon.
I never saw it coming, we had never looked at rings together and really never talked about it all. That being said, since I was totally surprised, I think I went out of body during the proposal and had to have him tell me it all over again later. Knowing it was coming may have kept me calmer and allowed me to be more in the moment. Just something to think about.
I had sent my FI a wish list from Blue Nile for two years (I was bored during some classes at graduate school and I must've sent him at least 50 different versions because my taste kept changing). Anyway, we both knew marriage would follow graduation so on a random weekend we stopped by a Robbins Brothers store for a diamond class. After the class I sent him my final engagement ring pick and he was on his own. I had a suspicion it was coming, so much so I called the strore to see if he had bought a ring. They told me NO so engagement was furthest from my mind after that.
By the way the store lied because my FI knew I would call and told them to lie to me. I am glad he did that because the proposal was a surprise and so much more special.
I knew that my husband was going to propose to me sometime in April. But i was still completely surprised when he did.
Please believe that picking out your ring in advance will not ruin the surprise of the proposal. You willl totally be surprised and will be lost in the moment!
We got engaged on our 5th year anniversary. So after being together for that long, i knew it was coming...eventually! And when he got on his knee and asked "the question", i was absolutely surprised! Not so much that he was going to do it, but more of the when & how. It was awesome!
You picked out what you liked..so you're job is done. Relax and let him do the rest...and ENJOY the moment girl! 
@lisey16: I am telling you this to ease your mind, not to scare you, although it might. FI and I went ring shopping in April 2007. We had been talking about getting engaged for awhile and went shopping to see what I liked, and how much rings cost. We went to a wholesale type of place and I found the ring of my dreams...something I had never thought I wanted. I was afraid that it would be gone when we went back so I kind of pushed him into buying it. I felt TERRIBLE for weeks. He told me he would propose on his own time and he wanted complete control over it.
I let it go and didn't talk about it anymore. Every holiday, birthday, Christmas, etc came and went and no proposal. He proposed 15 months later, in July 2008. I was totally surprised and blown away with his proposal. Hopefully your FI won't wait that long, and you'll get the proposal of your dreams. My point is: don't push it too far. You know the ring is coming, so let your fiance control the proposal.
And feel free to PM me if you want to vent but don't want to vent to him!
We,ve looked at rings to gether and talked about marriage....it was a given that it would happen. I even knew the year in which it would take place (because thats waht my FI promised me) and the year had dwindled down....all the way down. My FI proposed on Christmas morning and i was totally surprised evenn though in my gut i knew it was coming. your guy will find the right way to blow you away!!! DOnt worry about those other people
You will be surprised as long as your FI can keep a secret. We had looked at rings online, and I pointed out ones I liked, and he showed me ones he liked, but we didn't pick one out specifically. He didn't tell me when he bought it or anything, but I knew it was happening soon. I was very surprised when in the middle of a family reunion he got on his knee and pulled out the solitaire marquise we had looked at! He had even mentioned possibly proposing to me during this event and I still was surprised (partly because I didn't really expect him to do it then, but he is a tricky one!). You will be surprised as long as he doesn't straight out tell you "Hey, I am proposing on this day with this ring," Shoot, even if he told you the day, you wouldn't know how or when or under what circumstances. Trust me, you will be surprised, and even better, you will be ecstatic!
i picked out my ring. we shopped together quite a bit, but when it came time to actually buy it i actually pulled up the webpage, handed him the laptop and left the room.
then he told me the minute he received it via text message.
and i ran home from work and he told me to wait in the other room because he wanted to set something up and i knew he was going to do it RIGHT THEN and i still felt surprised (i hadn't seen the ring in person and it was more beautiful than i could have imagined) and cried like a baby. didn't ruin a thing.
I don't think it's ruined at all...you still have no idea when it's coming...I wrote a post on this not too long ago:
http://www.weddingbee.com/2010/07/20/engagement-ring-switch/
I thought the proprosal was looming so I nagged and nagged, but eventually got a very unexpected proposal with a different ring then we had initially picked together....my advice is to practice patience and forget about the ring shopping trip...if you are constantly thinking about it could ruin the surprise.
I don't think it will ruin the surprise at all. Even if you know, you'll be engaged!!! And that is really the best part. Besides, FIs tend to be super sneaky about these things and I bet you'll be really surprised anyway!
I was still surprised and I knew that we were going to get married! I looked with a couple of girlfriends a few times and had told him what i liked and disliked. I wanted a solitary round diamond. Small and practical, yet pretty and beautiful. oh and that I was a size 7. ;D
He went out with his father to look at rings and he asked my dad for my hand both without me knowing anything about it and he still surprised me with the proposal, so I don't think knowing that eventually you are going to get a ring really ruins the surprise of the proposal.
We picked out our engagement ring together. I wouldn't have it any other way. It was special to us and I was still suprised when he proposed. :)
I showed my FI what I liked and didn't like, so I wouldn't have to worry about getting something I totally hated. I waited months for him to propose, and he finally did! I was really surprised when it happened, so I don't think it will be ruined for you. Even though you've looked at rings together, you don't know when or how it's going to happen!
I knew the ring was coming ahead of time (I helped pick out what style I wanted) but it was several months after (6 months or so) that we actually got engaged. For the first few months, every time we went out to dinner or did something special I was always expecting the ring. This went on for several months with no ring, and I tried my best not to think about it (but it was on my mind CONSTANTLY). The day he actually chose to propose I had NO idea it was coming and didn't think he would be romantic enough to think about proposing to me at that time so it was a COMPLETE surprise. It was the one day I didn't expect it... which was really cool. I'm glad it worked out that way because I thought that knowing the ring was coming would ruin the surprise aspect.. but he still found a way to surprise me. :)
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