Post # 1
Okay, we have 8 nieces (all girls). The two oldest are 4 and 5 years old and I choose them to be my flowergirs. One flowergirl is daughter of my fiancé sister, en the other one is daughter of my brother. I loved that idea. One of both families. And I’ve ordered two wonderfull flowergirl dresses from the states.
My cousin gave birth to a girl a year ago. I have a good relationship with my cousin but I didn’t think of including her daughter as one of the flowergirls. I didn’t even pick out all of my close nieces. Just 2 out of 8
Anyway … just got a phonecall… My aunt, mother of my cousin, secretly made 6 flowergirldresses, for my 5 nieces (of my side of the family) and her granddaughter. The dresses are cute, all the same. But my problem is… how strange is that for my nieces have matching dresses but not the 3 daughters of my fiancé’s sister. And then also my ‘real flowergirls’ won’t me matching.
I told her I realy appriciated the gesture. And I truly loved the dresses but that she needed to find another occasion because I already had two flowergirl dresses and that there are two families with nieces, not just mine. She just didn’t get that point and was extremly dissapointed, and gave me the… ‘I spend hours of work in those dresses to suprise you … and somthing with ungratefull included.
What do you think?
Post # 3
It’s your wedding and she should have asked you first. That would be an insane amount of fg’s in my opinion.
Post # 4
@NoaMarijn: oh wow! You certainly sound grateful. It was a great gesture, but did she really not think that any girls on his side would be involved?? I think she was a little rude to 1. assume all these girls were going to be in the wedding (really, 6 flower girls!!??) 2. not even think about his side of the family.
I understand she is hurt, but I think she really should have asked you first, then designed them as a surprise
Post # 5
I think it’s manipulative and sneaky. Why would you make dresses in secret if you weren’t planing of guilting you into haveing them as FG?
wow. Tell her you never asked for it, and thaqt you are sure the dresses will make lovely b-day gifts for the girls, just not for your wedding. Who needs 8 FG anyway! crazy.
Post # 6
If you like the flower girl dresses, could your aunt make 3 more for your FI’s sister’s daughters? I would love to have all of those little girls lol
Post # 7
I think she was out of line and kind of rude making dresses to surprise you. If she wanted to have all the girl wear them then she should have made the appropriate number of dresses and given them to you much sooner.
You could have them be the dresses for the dress rehearsal!
Post # 8
It’s not ungrateful at all! You told her you love the dresses and you already had your flower girls picked. I would honestly say to her that you would be happy to have them all included, if she makes matching dresses for the other girls too. Ik eight flower girls is a lot, but how cute would that be? Walking two by two down the aisle? And instead of all standing they could just sit in the front row during the ceremony. I think it would make adorable pictures, but that’s just me!
Post # 9
so rude and uncalled for. incredibly manipulative.
Post # 9
- Wedding: September 2011 - Mackinaw Valley Vineyard; Bloomington Center for the Performing Arts
She really should have asked you since it’s your wedding. It also seems really late to wait and ask you about including so many girls. I would let the girls wear them, but not have them walk down the aisle.
Post # 10
What she did was presumptuous and honestly I have a hard time believing that she wasn’t being at least a little bit sneaky by doing it as a “surprise”. In any case, even if she did only have the best intentions, it would be wrong to have all of those little girls and exclude his side of the family. Also, while for me that seems like an excessive amount of flower girls, it could be totally cute if you included ALL of them. I say you did nothing wrong and you should not feel badly to stick to your guns on this one!
Post # 11
That would be great if I lived in the states. Here we truly have just one day 😉 No dress rehearsals, no bridal showers, … that sort a things.
@ others: thanks for feedback. I truly didn’t know what to think at this point. Just kinda baffled…
Post # 12
hmmm… Looks like she spent a lot of time on something that will be used at one of your siblings weddings!
Post # 13
I would just say I’m sorry, I am not ungrafeul I really do appriciate the gesture and I thank you for your thought but untimately we are going in a different direction.
After that there’s nothing more you can do. You said I’m sorry and you also said thank you… stick to your guns and proceed.
But don’t be surprised if the girls showed up at your wedding in those dresses. But who cares!
Post # 14
I had a similar situation. My MIL bought flower girl dresses for my four nieces even though she knew we weren’t having flower girls. I agree with PPs, it was rude and inconsiderate of her to just assume it was ok. It is your wedding and she should have asked you first. Do not let her manipulate you into doing something you don’t truly want to do.
Post # 15
Sounds like one big guilt trip. She’s the one behaving badly, don’t let her get you down.