Post # 1
My closest friend lives about 2 hours away from me, and we have been friends for over 10 years. She is 29 and about a year ago started dating a guy. It’s her first serious boyfriend and I seriously couldn’t be happier for her. The problem is, she keeps breaking plans with me and it’s driving me crazy!
We have hung out with them as a couple a few times and we get along fine. He’s a little on the immature side (ie-still think’s he’s 21..but he’s 27) but she is happy so I’m happy. She and I make plans a few weeks in advance because of the travel distance. The last 5 months in a row she has broken plans with me. This past weekend we were supposed to go to a sporting event that she invited us to months ago. Well, I couldnt get in touch with her days before and today she tells me that her boyfriend gave away our tickets by accident and she felt too bad to tell me.
I got engaged last weekend and she hasnt asked me about wedding planning or anythign like that at all. I know people have their own lives…but I wish she would pretend to be a little excited for me, even if for 5 minutes.
Post # 3
:[ If it makes you feel any better I had to dump my best friend.
And idk if this will make you feel any better but I’m uber excited for you.
Do you have a picture of your ring?
Post # 4
Thanks!! why did you have to dump her?
I don’t have a picture on this computer but I will post one soon. It’s white gold with a .75c round diamond in a halo setting. I love it 🙂
Post # 5
@Bostongrl25: She was making bad life choices and hanging out with a bad crowd.
I’m soo excited for you
Post # 6
Have you said anything to her about missing her?
You can also stay best friends and not see each other all the time. My best friend from HS, (I just realized that’s 25 years- yikes) have had times when we only lived 30 mins away and still didn’t see each other very often–maybe once a year. We still talked on the phone all the time. We just had other things going on.
But… she is being a dork for not being more excited about your engagement (Congrats!)
Post # 7
That really sucks, I think its happened to just about everyone. I myself say I am guilty of dropping friends too… I have just stopped communicating, once friendship turn oneway I “give up” and move on. If she wants to be your friend she will make the effort, which is sounds like she is neither.
I hope eveything works out though! and congratulations!
Post # 8
This has happened to me too and it’s very sad. I don’t have any advice on how to get your friend back, just sympathy.
Post # 9
That’s really shitty. I suggest teliing her a version of what you’ve said here – that it hurts that she constantly cancels plans, and that you feel like you’re losing your best friend. Let her know that the ball is in her court, since she keeps dropping it. Her actions from there should tell you what you need to know.
The thing about the sports tickets is doubly crappy because even if you couldn’t go to the event, couldn’t she have at least met up with you to just hang out for an afternoon/evening?
Post # 10
This is life. Friendships change over time. And it is usually due to a SO. My best friend and I have been friends since 6th grade. Over the years our contact has ebbed and flowed. When our kids were very young we hardly had time to chat. We sometimes went months without chatting but every now and then we would literally call and say “Are you okay?” “”Yea. You?” “Yea.” “Okay, gotta go, bye”. And we have lived around the corner from each other for the past 20 years! But then years later when I was going through an ugly divorce she called and talked to me EVERY DAY for hours on end for months. Don’t take it personally. Be happy for her and give her space to do her thing. Sooner or later things will change again, with marriage, with kids, with a new job, whatever. This is just the way friendships go sometimes. It doesn’t necessarily mean she loves you any less.
Post # 11
Thanks ladies. I know you are right. I feel like a lot of my friendships are in a weird changing phase right now. Most of us are in the process of buying homes/getting married/focusing on our jobs. And it just seems like friendships arent a top priority like they used to be. And I am guilty of it too. With her its just different because even though all my other friends have changed over the years, she has been the one constant friendship I have. I tell her all the time that I miss her, but she isnt really making an effort. I know I should take the hint… 🙁
Post # 12
I am going through the same thing with my BFF right now. She probably isn’t doing it on purpose and may not even realise how you are feeling. I think most couples are like that when they just start dating, I would just give it time.