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It may be good to talk to him (your partner) about this.
I can understand your fear, but I think you may need support, and where better to start than with the one who loves you the most?
You have made a brave step in writing about this issue today, and I sincerely wish you all the best.
Hugs. T.
I'm proud of you for sharing with us. I think the next step could be working toward talking to your FI about it. He loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you. This is not going to change his love for you, or his desire to be with you.
I suppose you need to decide how important it is to you to get your hair done. If you decide you want it in an updo you can't do yourself, then I would suggest calling a salon and telling them about your bald spots ahead of time. You don't have to tell them why you have them, just tell them you don't want to talk about it. Hopefully that way you won't have any uncomfortable questions. Plan a trial with them. If that goes well, then figure out how you can have your hair done before everyone else on the day of the wedding.
Or you can do your hair how I'm doing mine! I am simply wearing a headband and leaving my hair down. I'll curl the ends under, and that will be that. :)
Definitely give yourself credit for sharing this with someone... this could be the break you need to get help/overcome the compulsion. I find that for my compulsions, I have to out-think myself. I scratch my scalp (to the point that it bleeds) when I am stressed/thinking about something complex. When I get into a bad patch, I chop off my finger nails so that I can't do it. I find that if I can stop for a couple weeks (21 days to form a habit), it's usually better for a few months. Maybe you can wear your hair in a bun/braids non-stop for a couple weeks (or until the wedding) so that you don't have access to it. Yes, this might raise questions, and yes, you might have to talk about it... but your FI loves you and will be supportive/understanding. If you can't handle touching it at all, maybe FI can help you wash your hair a couple times a week (or a trusted friend if you really don't want to talk to him about it). Maybe after a few weeks of not having access to the hair, you won't be reaching up for it any more. Good luck going forward, and don't be afraid to share yourself with your future husband.
Compulsions come in many forms. Yours is just one and you are not alone. Remember that.
Look for help and tell your fiance because he should/will help and support you along the way.
It will br a process and overcoming any problem isnt easy, but it WILL be easier with someone on your side, like your fiance.
I know that my hair dresser works with different hair issues. If you're worried about the fullness, try extentions. I got some, and cut them down.
As with PP. Good for you talking with us about it. Not sure if your wedding date is correct but you have time to talk to him. hopefully with FI on your side, you'll feel a lot better.
*hugs*
I'm sorry. I also have OCD (not the type you describe), but I understand the obsessions/compulsions so if you need to talk or rant please message me.
I have Trich also. I think mine isn't as bad as some that I've seen, but it's still a problem.
Check out http://www.trich.org/ . It has stories of other real people with the condition and they talk about ways that they have stopped doing it. One good way that I read about was wearing gloves all the time.
You say you're worried about what your FI will say if he finds out. I urge you to tell him. When I learned that what I do/have is an actual condition, I came clean to my FI and he was very understanding. Ask him to help you stop by having him pay attention to whether or not you're doing it.
Please, tell your FI. When I did, it was very scary but eventually it was a huge weight off my mind.
I struggle with it all the time, mainly trich but also OCD & anxiety
Follow my blog:
@silver_211: Frankly, I am surprised that you're about to be married and your husband-to-be isn't aware of your problem. I mean, your relationship is pretty serious now - don't you think your fiance deserves to know exactly everything he's getting into? I understand there may be some shame and guilt centered around your behaviors, but I think it's imperative that you sit down and talk to your fiance about what you're going through before you walk down that aisle. Otherwise I feel you'd be commiting fraud.
I don't think this will be as big of an issue in real life as you've probably made it out in your mind to be. Your fiance loves you, he wants to marry you, and generally wanting to marry someone means that you're willing to work through issues and problems with them. I don't think telling him that you suffer from trich is going to make him love you and less.
However, I think that the longer you put off telling him, the harder it will be. I think you really need to soul search your reasons for not having mentioned it sooner, as I can guarantee your fiance will want to know. Loving another person means being able to be vulnerable and open with them. Keep this in mind during your discussion. You need to tell your fiance BECAUSE you love him and he loves you and obviously you need some support with this issue..
Best of luck to you.
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I have never told anyone this, I have never written about it. I have kept this to myself. I have Trichotillomania which is an OCD that means I pull my hair uncontrollably. Usually leads to large bald patches on the head or even the eyebrows. I have had it for years.... not extactly sure where it started or why. They say its starts from a tramatic moment in your life. I have bald patches i hide pretty well. I am carful when i pull my hair back they dont show, I hate going in water, I never have my hair done.
I am getting married soon. What will my fiance says if he finds out I am pulling my hair out and I have bald patches.... How do I get my hair done for my big day if I am terrified what a hair dresser will say. What if people are around when she's doing my hair and they see the spots? Most people who have my OCD wear wigs I am still at the point I dont have to but worried someday I will.
I just wanted to tell someone....I dont want advice I just want someone to know. If you have OCD please dont be afraid to share.
I am a regular poster on this site but have made a new account to protect my identity.