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How small of a wedding are you planning? I don't think you need BM or GM if you don't want them. Can you each pick a family member to "stand up" with you. Mom/Dad/Aunt/Uncle? That way, it's not gender specific, and it's just one special person to stand up at the front with you. Don't pick people to be your wedding party if you don't feel particularly close.
While a wedding party is always optional, I think it might be a great opportunity to become closer to your sisters-in-law by asking them to be your bridesmaids. That being said, I would be cautious not to put too much of a burden on them in terms of throwing a shower or bachelorette party, but it might give you a chance to be better connected to them. Friends come and go, but family is forever!
You don't need bridesmaids & groomsmen! We didn't have any at ours. We had a small wedding on the beach with the people that we are CLOSEST to, which is what it's really all about right? Why would you want to have people standing up there with you, that you aren't close with & that don't play a big role in your your life? Just to follow a"tradition"? I say skip it, make your own rules & do what YOU feel comfortable with!
I vote no bridal party. You don't need em. And it really sounds like you're the small-wedding type to me, which is great because you'll save money and you'll be surrounded by only those who are most special to you and your fiance.
Sweetie, there's TONS Of ways to make a small wedding special. Check this out:
http://www.intimateweddings.com
Lots of great "small wedding porn" there.
"Stuff" doesn't make a wedding special. Without all that extra stuff, you can do what you want with your budget. With the money you save from skipping it, you can buy your dream dress. Or rent a beautiful old car. Or heck, save it for a spectacular honeymoon or something else you and your hubby-to-be have been pining for. (Mr. MJ and i bought a house instead of a wedding 
)
Do whatever makes you most comfortable! I know of some people who have had their families stand up with them in lieu of a bridal party.
You could do just one person on each side (maybe a nice way to involve his sister?).
Do you really have to have anyone? As long as you have someone to sign the marriage license, then technically you're ok, right? No one says there has to be a wedding party!
I just think you don't want to force it and end up dealing with a group of girls who aren't incredibly close to you and then you have to try and make everyone happy with dresses, hair, etc. Or, you could look at it on the flip side and see this as an opportunity to get closer to his sister and your SIL's.
But at the end of the day, you should end up with a situation that feels most comfortable to you and makes you the happiest!
You need to feel comfortable on your wedding day, so asking people who you don't know or aren't close with might just stress you out. I say don't worry about having BM's, use your Mom, Aunt or Gmom to talk about wedding details with. Let him have groomsmen if there are close family/friends he wants to ask, don't worry about it being uneven. It will work out better than you think!
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I'm going to vote no wedding party on this one too. Of course do what's most comfortable to you. There is no rule that says you HAVE to have a wedding party or that the wedding party has to be even.
Everyone who made previous posts had lots of great suggestions, so I think you'll find a solution that fits you and your FI best.
Happy planning!
I'm like you, I also don't have a ton of friends, and my bridal party is pretty small. If it's important for FI to have his friends involved in the wedding, give them duties like usher, have them do a reading, etc.
I agree with the no bridal party suggestion! We didn't have one, and we were really glad about it! Our weddings wasn't tiny or huge (57 people), and we still did a lot of the "traditional" things you mentioned (church ceremony, dancing at the reception, etc...). Instead of having just bms walk down the aisle, we were fortunate enough to have our families walk down. My sisters, my SIL, my grandma, my nephew, our readers, our parents and we all walked down the aisle. Instead of having a best man and MOH hold the rings, we had our moms come up for the ring ceremony, where we actually needed a couple extra hands. And our moms signed our marriage certificate (which I think meant a lot to them).
I don't think you should be uncomfortable on your wedding day by inviting someone you are not close to to stand up with you. And just because you don't have a bridal party does not mean you have to skip a traditional wedding. Do what makes you and your Fi feel most comfortable, and your wedding will be absolutely special and perfect!
I vote no bridal party! We were in the reverse situation. Were we to have bridal parties mine would have been friends and his would have been just family.
We had a small wedding that was 85% family. I invited 4 of my closest girlfriends to the wedding - but they did not have any special roles. He didn't invite anyone other than family. We had my mom and his step-dad as our matron of honor and best man - but that was all the bridal party we had. It was perfect for us!
Good luck! It'll all work out :)
I am going to go against the grain and vote for a bridal party. It's nice to have special people around you. Yes, I have had some drama and it made it challenging to have 7 bridesmaids. Intense right? But, now I am happy. If I were you, I would ask the sisters to be in it. It will give you a chance to bond. These people will be in your life forever and it's time to start forging the relationship now. My friend didn't include her sister in law and then she regretted it because they ended up becoming really close. The sister in law even threw her a shower though she wasn't in the wedding party. 2-4 is a good number of attendents for each side.
Oh yeah and like someone else said, just don't put too much on the sisters like asking them to throw you a party. Just being there will be great.
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I'm currently dealing with this issue too---but it's the FI who really doesn't have any "current close friends". He has two guys from high school he used to be very close with, but not really anymore. They both showed up to our surprise engagement BBQ last weekend (they knew we were going to announce it-the family didn't!) without any questions asked. Now FI is wondering if he should have them. I don't know. Mixed feelings still. I love my two best friends but I fear the drama with my sister. ::sigh::
Go with your gut and make sure it's the decision you feel right with and want.
California, I would ask FI if it's okay you not have a bridal party. If it is, I think that's the best solution. If he seems upset about not being able to have his old friends, I would just have it be uneven. I saw a wedding on "whose wedding is it anyway" where the bride was HAPPY to be the only girl up at the alter with the grooms whole lot of groomsmen. Talk about no chance of being shown up ;)
We're not having a wedding party at all. I don't even know why we decided not to - just because it seemed more intimate and less of a pain, I suppose! I say just do whatever feels best. I don't recommend drudging up old friends to stand up at your wedding (but definitely invite them if you want to), although you could safely ask family members without it being strange (unless you think there's bad blood there, in which case I'd just skip it).
At my first wedding I had my sister, my cousin, and my future SIL stand up with me, and I don't really know that it was worth it. I mean, I loved them all, but getting the dresses and shoes and organizing everyone was SUCH a pain. Maybe that's why I opted for no bridesmaids this time without even thinking twice. Trust me - you'll save yourself a lot of headache if neither of you have groomsmen/maids.
definitely have his guys be ushers since you'll need people to seat the other guests but don't have them stand up at the front or sit with you at the reception. If you have a program at the ceremony that's the way to recognize them for helping. You can stand up front alone, nothing wrong with that. Also don't discount male friends if you have any of those you can pick one to stand up with you as your man of honor if you do have any and that way he could have a best man. But if you don't definitely skip it!
You know, we were in pretty much the exact same situation because we're doing our ceremony near where my fiance lives (with a gabillion friends nearby) and this is what we're doing. Those that are super close to us (our brothers, moms, dads and a couple of my fiance's closest friends) will be given boutonierres (why can't i spell that) and wrist corsages but no one will actually be up there with us as an official "bridal party". Your fiance can still delegate special tasks to those close to him without making your ceremony one sided.
my best friend is my MAN OF HONOR but it's sort of an unofficial thing...
believe me, we stressed over it for months and it wasn't worth it. After we decided on the no bridal thing things got a lot more fun and a lot less hectic.
Do it your way, make it special. I wouldn't put people that will make you feel awkward in a made up bridal party. It will seem as weird to them as it would seem to you and they would feel obligated to accept your invite even if they felt uncomfortable.
The day is about us. That's it. We're going to acknowledge
I think I would go with option number 2, but if you decide on 4, what part of CA are you in? I'm in N. and I'm a 6-throw me a dress and a bouquet! :) hehe
count me in as another vote for no bridal party, and give his boys other 'titles' if he would like them to be involved. but only you know best =D
my situation is opposite than yours (i have my girls; my best girl friend, sister, and his sister) and he didn't have anyone, but ended up choosing one of our mutual male friends, and last minute, asked one of his college buddies who agreed! =D so you never really know!
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I'm so thankful that others are in the same boat as I am. Not only am I marrying my BF, but my family are going to an annual family reunion that I never knew about until I sent the STDs! I feel so angry that a wedding has to magnify my most challenging aspects about my personal life. I feel that anyone who attends will see my problems in neon lights. To top it off, my FH has 30 friends and more family that he didn't want to invite, but his parents are pressuring him to invite them. I feel like I will look like a stolen bride. He says that his family will now be my family, but I can't help feeling hurt and so betrayed by supposed loved ones. I'm trying to stay strong after all I've never been one to follow the crowd, but I didn't expect to have their negligence hammered on my wedding day!
Have you talked to your FI about this? Does he want his friends? It's not fair to ask him not to have any of his friends there just because you don't have any. I wouldn't try to become friends with old friends. You could ask his sisters and become closer to them and also give them a chance to be in their brothers wedding.
We decided to not have a wedding party much for the same reasons and let me just tell you it was the BEST decision we have ever made!!!! First... it doesn't mean you won't have people involoved in your day... boy they will come out of the woodworks! It is like once they aren't required to have duties they all volunteer for everything from showers, to bachlorette party, to bustling my dress. I am getting so many of those more traditional things that I didn't think I would have or really cared about. Teh women in my family are taking me out for a bridal luncheon and getting their nails done with me. We are keeping the rehersal so small to close family because there aren't all these people we are required to invite. For our ceremony we are doing a ring warming since there will be no bridal party and I am going to reach down and let my mom hold my bouquet during the exchange of vows.
I am having about 40 people at my wedding but having been a bridesmaid 6 times and a bride once I seriously am loving no bridal party.. I mean... what do they do anyway??? And now all the people I really love can wear whatever the heck they want!!!
Oh and one more thing. Since we won't have a BM or MOH we are opening the floor up for anyone who wants to give a toast and those who are most special to us we are talking to in advance asking them if they would like to give a toast.
I am glad I am not alone! I don't have a ton of close girlfriends - only a few, and they hate each other (long back story) and I don't have many close female family members (no sisters or female cousins). Thinking about who will be my MOH has been the most stressful part of thinking about a wedding! Especially when I see pictures of every other girl I know's wedding and she has half a dozen or more BMs...
I agree, you don't need a bridal party. Intimate is nice, just the two of you at the altar, not a dozen other guys and gals. Like someone else suggested, find other titles and roles for his friends. I am so glad there are other girls in the same boat!
I think it could be a very nice opportunity for you to bond with SILs. After all, they are going to be your family.
We're not having a BP & my parents are both deceased. The rest of my family is on the other side of the country & won't be here./
I am starting to see a huge advantage in not having BP--eliminating a major source of drama!
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We have been in the "school/ moving around/ working hard to get financially stable" stage for years, so we haven't made any friends while together- and we are both socially handicapped anyway. He has old friends he wants to invite, but I don't. (Yes, I was one of those girls that "fell off the face of the earth" when I met my FI) Now I have no one to be my BMs. Which option do you recommend?
1)- Have no BMs, but then he can't have GMs
2)- Ask my current SILs and/or his sis- even though we are, none of us, remotely close (even possible that one or both actually dislike me, so, sure to be awkward at best)
3)- Try to locate BFFs from my past that I haven't spoken to in 10-18 years so that it looks like I have friends (which just sounds pathetic)
4)- Put an ad out for new friends? (Paris Hilton BFF show meets "I love you, Man") Would you answer an ad like that? I don't know if I would.
Perhaps a super-small wedding needs no BMs or GMs? But if you don't have all the traditional "stuff"- (BMs, church, large guest list, people who will dance at reception) -how do you make it special??
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