(Closed) I have no idea what to do, girls…

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
11327 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I would talk to him. I don’t understand why his mom is picking it out. And when you give him clear preferences he shouldn’t just overrule you. I mean you BOTH have to like it… 

Post # 4
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee

Ask him why he is getting you something you won’t like?

And probably won’t wear. 

Post # 5
Member
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’d be pissed.  Why did he even bother asking you if he was just going to let his mom pick it out?  Your the one who has to wear it.

Post # 9
Member
257 posts
Helper bee

*sigh*  That would upset and frustrate me as well.  I could see maybe compromising on the diamond vs. mossanite issue, but I just can’t see any reason why he should be so dead set on a round stone if you so clearly stated thats what you dont want.

 

It just doesn’t make sense to me that he’s letting his mom have so much say in *YOUR* engagement ring.  Feedback and ideas are one thing, but insisting on your own preferences instead of the person who’s going to be wearing the ring just seems wrong.

Post # 10
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I’d be pissed too.  Why is his mother deciding what kind of engagement ring you should get when you’ve already told him what you want?  How much say does his mother have in other parts of your lives?  Is she going to decide what house you buy?  When you have kids?  What to name your kids?  When you start planning your wedding is she going to have veto power over all your decisions?  Is she going to choose the cake flavor?  Colors?  Where does it end?

Whew!  Apparently I have some residual hostilities left over from my ex FI.  He was a total mamas boy and it drove me nuts.  You really need to put your foot down NOW, so this doesn’t become a pattern.  Honestly, it’s YOUR ring, it’s going to be on YOUR finger, not hers.  YOU are the one who is going to be looking at it for the rest of your life, not her. 

Ugh, I’m getting pissed FOR you.

Post # 11
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee

Why?  Especially after you have the wedding band.

Post # 12
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

And apologies for all my CAPS.  I’m feeling fiesty today. 😀

Post # 15
Member
1080 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Lets say he gets you a solitare…you could get a wrap for a wedding ring and that would make it look more like a halo. On the cut though, he should really go with what you prefer, not his mom.

Post # 16
Member
2790 posts
Sugar bee

You need to tell him that it’s not his mother choice on what your engagement ring should look like. Tell him that you understand why he would want to seak out her opinion but that ultimately she’s not the one who has to wear it everyday. Remind him that if he so chooses to purchase the round stone he should also always know that you are disappointed by it and would not wholeheartedly love it like you would love a princess with a halo.

Ask him why he feels so strongly about his vision and inquire as to why it is more important than you enjoying your ring for years to come. I know you want to please him but who wants to look at your ring every day and hate it.

I personally would be very angry that his mothers opinion seems to matter more than your own and I would agree with @lezlers, what about all of those other questions. What about when she is strong arming him into something regarding the wedding. If you can’t make him see your side now what makes you think he will choose any differently about a wedding decision.

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