I have to get this off my chest! [Rant/Vent]

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I could see how her insulting everyone would really irk you. I guess I get why they get along so well if they are both immature with no future plans. I honestly don’t know why her parents would put up with it. When is she planning on getting married? Are her parents paying for everything? Like you said, it may be annoying but there isn’t much that you can do. You could try speaking to her parents, but it doesn’t seem like they care. (It also seems like they are totally racist Ugh, sorry, that sucks. a bunch of FI family is racist and it is really awful)
The only thing you can do it try not to let it bother you. It’s her life nad she’ll make her own mistakes. You can just hope she will mature later. 

Post # 5
Member
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Well this is a good place to vent, cause saying any of this to her certainly won’t change her mind! Yes you’re totally right. BUT it’s her life, she’s made her bed so let her lie in it. She sounds incredibly immature, so the age difference actually might be a good thing. She has been acting like a jerk, probably because she’s desperate for approval. Hopefully her parents will cut her off soon & throttle her into adulthood lol. I’d just try to stay out of the wedding planning as much as possible to preserve your sanity.

Post # 6
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Oh wow, I can’t even imagine. I had to work my butt off to get through school. If I were lucky enough to get school paid for I would not F it up. Very frustrating when you work for  everything and see things handed to by someone who doesn’t appreciate it. But kind of sad that she at 27 is still by all means a child. She may wake up one day and see how much of her life she has wasted, but I think if her parents continue to do everything for her she will never do for herself. wonder what they do all day if they aren’t working or going to school? I just can’t imagine.

Post # 8
Member
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@LynnSnow:  Just being “there” sounds like the right approach! Once all the excitment of the wedding is over & she has to figure out what’s next in her life, it’ll probably be a wake-up call. Hopefully there’s some kind of solid foundation between her & her husband. I agree, it’s easy to have a carefree & happy relationship when you’re completely sheltered from real life.

Post # 9
Member
9528 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Geez oh freakin’ Pete! I’m glad you realize there’s nothing you can or should do about this, but I totally get where you’re coming from. From the info given, I don’t think either of them is setting themselves up for a good, stable, long term relationship and life. But that’s their decision. And it seems to be supported by her parents. Which baffles me, but is their right. Hope the venting makes you feel a little less frustrated. And I really do hope things work out for your cousin. But yeah, these are not good signs.

Post # 10
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee

It does sound like she’s being immature, and maybe not ready for marriage. But at this point, it certainly sounds like she’s not receptive to feedback. Unfortunately, sometimes you just have to let people make their own mistakes.

I’ve been in a terrible relationship before, many years ago – not only was mine immature, but it was downright abusive. I had EVERYONE telling me how horrible it was, even telling me that maybe we should slow down and just take our time, but I was sure I was going to marry the guy. I never listened to them for a second; I just got mad at people who had bad things to say about my SO. I truly believe, to this day, that everyone’s criticism only hurt me. It became “us against the world” in my mind, and I ended up not being comfortable talking to any of them when the time came for me to truly evaluate my relationship. When you love someone, whether or not it’s a mature love, you tend not to be really receptive to criticism.

The more people tell this girl that they’re not ready or that he’s not great marriage material, the more she’s going to want to prove the world wrong.

It does sound to me like she really wants approval. I think the best thing you can do without overstepping your boundaries is to just not give her wedding-related attention. Leave conversations when she talks about it. Don’t walk off in a huff or anything, but just don’t engage her in wedding conversation, or conversation about how great her relationship is, or anything like that.

Post # 13
Member
2474 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

This is going to sound reallllly mean… but, well, at least you can sit back and watch with the popcorn as she crashes and burns when reality smacks her in the face. :/ Until then, all you can do is hope she makes better choices and wises up.

Post # 14
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@StephieBee:  +100

Yeah, I feel like this is going to wind up in some comically bad relationship drama!

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