Post # 1
I’m having a hard time being positive and happy during what is supposed to be one of the happiest times of my life. A lot of big and little things have happened, like a close friend refusing to be a bridesmaid because she feels too body conscious in a dress, my bridal shower had to be canceled because no one could come, the groomsmen’s attire sold out before they could purchase, and my sister (the MOH) has been so ambivalent and isn’t coming to any showers or parties nor is she helping with anything. I could probably handle all of that with only a day or so spent being bummed, but now I’ve found out that I have to give up my dog. My fiance and I currently live 2 hours apart. I’m coming to live with him, but we can’t find ANY dog friendly apartments that will allow a 65lb dog. I’m so heart broken, it’s all I can think about. Besides this, my fiance and his friends hate my dog, because my dog is really hyper and has a few behavior problems. (He also has some really great qualities.)
I feel like no one understands how heart broken I am and all I’m getting from people is “well it’s probably for the best”. To me it sounds like “I see you’re in pain, but it’s for the best”. I feel like I’m giving my child up for adoption. It’s 5 weeks until the wedding, and I’m going to have to take him back to his breeders 2 weeks before my wedding. I don’t know how I can move past this by my wedding day, and I’m so scared that I’m just going to be depressed and ruin the wedding for myself and everyone else. I don’t even have the motivation to finish the wedding stuff right now. I have no idea how to even process all this in my head, no idea how I should react, this just sucks.
I can’t think of anything else to do other than cry and post this on the internet. Maybe someone else can relate. I wish I was happy right now, I will never get this time back, and I don’t want to remember this time as one of the worst in my life.
Post # 3
@wvrunner: oh darlin I am so sorry! I would be a huge wreck if I had to give up my kitties. Can you guys broaden your search a little and have and extra 10 minutes on the commute? Maybe there will be more options!
Post # 4
Depending on where you live, it’s illegal for your landlord to kick you out just because you own a pet. At least, that’s the case where I live. Is it actually impossible to find a dog-friendly apartment..?
Post # 5
Oh my god! I am so so sorry you are going through this! Can’t you find some sort of compromise? Can your FI live with you? I don’t think I would be able to give up my furbabies! 🙁 At least you don’t have to take him to the pound, but I know that doesn’t make it hurt much less.
Post # 6
Who is looking for the apartments? There has to be at least one in the area. I’m also not sure what his being 65lb has to do with it.
I hope I’m wrong but if your FI dislikes your dog as much as you say then maybe he’s not putting in an effort to find a dog friendly place.
Post # 7
I’m so sorry! I would be devastated. Just a note, though: I am absolutely terrible at consoling people, so if you were to tell me that in person, I may only think to say “it’s probably for the best.” Your friends may not be ambivalent about the situation–they may just not know what to say!
I would be a wreck though so I definitely am very sorry for what you’re going through. Maybe try what PPs have said and expand the search? :/
Post # 8
@wvrunner: I would not give up on finding a place that will accept the dog. It can be Hard, I have a 75lb Pitbull so I get the size and breed restrictions. But there are apartments out there.
If you look on craigslist you can click the Dog box, or you could google “pet friendly apartments” or “large dog friendly apartments” etc.
I can’t imagine giving up my dogs or cat.
Post # 9
Where are you looking to rent and what can you afford? Maybe some of us Bees can help you find a place. Also what type breed is your dog that could help with finding a place.
Post # 10
Do you need to have an apartment? Maybe you could look for a house to rent instead. More flexibility with an individual landlord, plus a yard for your puppy!
Post # 11
@wvrunner: This would break my heart too. I would rather live apart after marriage than give away my dog!
Out of curiosity, what are your pup’s behavioral problems and what have you tried so far?
Post # 12
@Luayne: As for the dog being 65lbs: There’s often a weight restriction on places (especially apartments) that take pets like “cats and dogs under 50lbs” or something. I’ve only had cats, but have noticed it when looking. It’s often harder and more expensive just to have any pet, again more so in apartments.
Post # 13
I feel so sorry for you. My puppy is everything to me! I would die if I had to give her up.
Do you have to go live where your fiance is living?
If it were me I would probably stay at home to keep my dog. Maybe you can come up with a solution afterwards and you won’t be so stressed for your wedding…?
I’m almost tearing up thinking about having to give up my dog… follow your heart!!!
Post # 14
Dont give him up! you never know where he will end up:( thats so awful… There has to be an appt for rent that allows your dog. Please look harder.
Post # 15
I also would live apart from my husband if that is what i had to do to keep my beloved fur child. nothing could separate us, nothing.
Post # 16
Have you tried the local newspaper or craigslist? sometimes the apartments that advertise with website and such are not dog friendly, but there may be a house you could rent that would allow it.