(Closed) I haven’t asked anyone yet….

posted 7 years ago in October 2011
Post # 3
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

My wedding is in April and my girls just ordered their dresses. If you’re ordering from a bridal shop, this will put you right at the edge. Our dresses should arrive in February which is a little close for my liking. If you’re ordering from a dept. store then you have a little more cushion. I would suggest letting your girls know ASAP though because there are a lot of things that they “might” need to do to prepare (i.e. travel arrangements, bachelorette party, etc.).

Post # 4
Member
3620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’d wait as long as possible! I’ve read too many horror stories (including my own) about asking people too early!

Post # 7
Member
3564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Definitely wait! You don’t need to order dresses til about 4-5 months out (at least that’s what I was told when we ordered), and you can always rush them if you need to. I would say by Jan/Feb, I would ask them, just so they can start saving up money if they need to and you can include them in decisions/wedding planning if you want to.

Post # 9
Member
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

You are totally fine!  Our wedding is July 9 and we just started looking at BM dresses.  No worries.

Post # 10
Member
5498 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’d say ask them at least 6 months in advance. As long as you ask them in the next month or so I am sure you’ll be fine!

Post # 11
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

First, you have plenty of time, so I wouldn’t get stressed. Just a side note, one way to avoid weddy party drama…lower your expectations and only ask girls that you are truly close to. I’ve had a great time with all of my girls because all I expected them to do was buy a dress and be present at my wedding. As a result, everything they’ve done in addition to that has been a treat. MOH asked if she could throw shower and bachelorette party and the other BMs have asked what they can do to help. They don’t feel any pressure and neither do I. Plus, they were all notified early enough to put money aside for travel arrangements, to purchase the dress and shoes (if they wanted, since I’m letting them wear a shoe of their choice). hilsy85 is right, you can rush the order, but that will cost you. So just be prepared that the longer you wait, the more stress you may be puttin on yourself. You’ll need time to pick dresses whether you let them pick their own or you pick one for them (with their input). You’ll need time to figure out shoes, jewelry, parties, travel, hair, and everything else that will come up that you didn’t think of. I agree that waiting is ideal, because people change their mind about things, but waiting too long will definitely put strain on things.

Post # 12
Member
3620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Our wedding party drama came mostly out of the people who WEREN’T in the bridal party but thought they ought to be, not those who were, with the exception of one girl who backed out due to things in her personal life that she needed to deal with. Just know that if there are people who think they should be in your party who you aren’t planning on asking, that there could/will likely be backlash.

Make sure you give everyone enough time to order dresses, as pp have mentioned. My girls wore VS dresses that they ordered from http://www.victoriassecret.com so they came in a week, which was nice.

And as tseay mentioned, don’t have grand expectations – my girls actually got upset with me for not asking them to do more for me! Haha! I just expected them to get the dress and show up, and they wanted in on more of the DIY stuff that I did myself.

But don’t set your expectations TOO low, or you may send the wrong message. Because DH and I were so laid back about everything, about a week before the wedding, I learned that one of my Bridesmaids planned to come up with her own “entrance” to our reception – which included props and other things that would have made us both very upset, given that we had a certain vision for our reception/wedding day… she “didn’t think it would bother” us because “they haven’t cared about anything else” because we let them choose their own jewelry, shoes, hairstyle, etc… Thankfully, another bridesmaid told me about the plan and put a stop to it before it could negatively impact our day.

Post # 14
Member
1328 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I also suggest waiting! I asked the day after getting engaged!  (about 22 mos from wedding) and currently i’m having some major drama with them now!  There were a few that I wished I’d never asked! 

Also, since my wedding is in July, consultant said that for most designers they need to be ordered by the end of Jan.  So around 6 months should be fine to ask them!  =)

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