Weddingbee boards

I debated posting this with an anonymous account but, oh well, I'm not the only woman to go through this.

As the title says, I haven't had my period in almost a year, I can't remember exactly. I have always had irregular periods, commonly going 4-6 months between them. Then I was on birth control for several years. So about a year ago or so I went off BC for various reasons and I have never had my period since. To be clear I don't blame the BC since like I said I have never really been regular.

I am really scared that I will not be able to conceive. I keep thinking about how if we had been actively TTC we would have just gone an entire year with no results. I am making an appointment with a gynecologist for my annual exam and I will obviously tell her what's going on. And who knows, maybe there's an easy fix? But I find myself putting it off because I am afraid she is going to tell me that I am hopelessly infertile or something. And it makes my heart heavy that in a couple of years when we are ready to actively TTC I will more likely than not need to START with infertility treatment since I am obviously not ovulating on my own.

Also, we're a same-sex couple, which means that every single time we try we will have to pay $600+ for sperm, not to mention all the meds and testing and treatments on top of that. So that sucks. However, I guess it can also be seen as a silver lining since we have a "backup womb" in my partner, although she has never seen herself being pregnant, it is a technical option.

Anyone else been through this and want to commiserate? Give advice? Tell me it's going to be okay?

@abbie017:  Thank you. It is probably genetics in my case too, since my mom had a similar issue, but it's hard for me to understand how nothing could be "wrong" but my body just ... doesn't work. Weird! But yes, I am definitely going to go see my GYN.

@jaguar:  This might be a stupid question, but it's impossible for me to have ovulated if I haven't had a period, right?

One of the most common causes of absent periods is PCO or PCOS; although it can take a while for periods to return to normal when coming off BC, typically they should return within 3 months, so a year is a long time, plus in your case, very irregular periods have always been an issue. So I would certainly see a gynaecologist.

The usual way they test for PCOS is by running blood tests at different times of the month, to monitor fluctuations in hormone levels, if these tests are 'normal', it usually rules out PCOS, but, it doesn't rule out PCO. They will then likely do a scan (usually a transvaginal one; I've had a couple so if you do need one and have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask either on here or via PM) to check for cysts, and then go from there.

Please remember that if it is something like PCOS it absolutely does not mean you will not be able to conceive, so please try not to worry too much at this stage.

Best of luck.

@MissPumpkinPie:  I'm exactly the same way. My period disappeared for two years, so I had to start taking BC. My GYN tried two other medications that were supposed to jump start my period, but they didn't work.

@MissPumpkinPie:  Provera and Prometrium.

My FI had the same thing happen to her after she went off the pill. She had nothing for a whole year and eventually it came back, and is now regular. Sorry you are stressed about this and I hope everything turns out okay! :)

Like others have said, try not to get too far ahead of yourself.  I have PCOS.  I had actually always been fairly regular before BC, but after being on it for a while and then going off, the irregularity started.  I had long cycles after the BC but was not really noticing too much because DH and I were not TTC at the time so I didn't really care.  However about six months before our wedding I started paying more attention and realizing things were not normal.  Also, over the period of a year, I gained about 35 lbs. after coming off of the BC.

Finally last summer I completely skipped a period and started getting really worried.  I went to my doctor and he wasn't worried at first, he thought it was "wedding stress."  I knew deep down that it wasn't.  Finally my best friend (who is a nurse practitioner) suggested that my doctor do a hormonal panel on me.  She couldn't figure out why I was having the irregularity, and also why when I was gaining weight when I eat healthy and exercise on a regular basis.

I will never be able to thank her enough for convincing me to do that.  All of my hormone levels were normal except my testosterone, which was slightly elevated (83 I believe).  I also had signs of insulin resistence.  My doctor started me on metformin right away.  Ever since I started the met, I have been ovulating and having very regular periods.  I am extremely lucky in that regard, and I know that.  For some people, met alone will not make them ovulate, but a combo of that and clomid might, or another combination.  Do not lose hope.  There are many things that can be done for women with PCOS.  I also have been able to lose weight much more easily while on the met.

Just know that if it is PCOS that does not mean you will never get pregnant.  There is definitely hope.  Also, I highly doubt your doctor is going to tell you that you are completely infertile.  There can be lots of reasons why women aren't getting their period, it's just a question of figuring out what yours is!

I have PCOS and that's the first thing that came to mind, although I have excessive periods instead, lots of people don't have them. My mom told me she rarely had periods, so she probably had some form of it too, but she had 2 kids without even trying, so I don't think it necessarily means you'll have troubles. Whatever it is that's going on, I hope you have good luck and it turns out well for you.