- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
One of my bridesmaids and I met during our senior year of high school. Now that we are both adults, we live an hour away from each other. We still keep up through texts and hang out a couple times a year. After I told her I was engaged, the first thing she said was, “I better be in the wedding!” Talk about putting me in an awkward spot, right?
I did ask her to be a bridesmaid… probably against my better judgement. It’s not that I don’t like her. It’s just that she’s not the most mature, dependable person.
Ever since returning from a beach vacation with her boyfriend, she’s been talking about moving to South Carolina with him. It very well could be all talk, but she said they are browsing jobs and apartments down there.
A couple weeks ago, I told her the date of bridesmaid dress shopping and she said she had to work. But then yesterday she took a sick day so she could hang out with her boyfriend. She just wanted another day to relax after her vacation before going back to work. I wasn’t asking her to use a sick day for ME, but hearing that she wasted one to do nothing rubbed me the wrong way.
She’s never been in a wedding before so I don’t think she knows proper etiquette. I don’t think she understands the commitments like purchasing the bridesmaid dress and contributing to (and asking off work!) for wedding-related events she’s expected to attend. She’s the only bridesmaid I feel like I have to BABYSIT. Like, “Are you saving vacation days? Did you request off? Will you be there?”
Bottom line, if she moves away, she wont be a bridesmaid. I can just see her name printed on the program and then her not showing up! Like her getting into a fight with her boyfriend and then him not wanting to drive her back or something…
Also, my Maid/Matron of Honor messaged all my bridesmaids about planning my bridal shower and bachelorette party and she never responded. She doesn’t really know the other bridesmaids so I don’t know if she’s being shy or just getting overwhelmed.
I feel terrible actually hoping she does move so I’ll have an excuse to explain why being a bridesmaid wouldn’t be a good idea anymore. However, deep down I know South Carolina was probably just a fleeting idea and she wont be moving.
She might never have been in a wedding before, but some things are just common sense! Am I trapped here?