Weddingbee boards

I'm sure I'm going to sound like a raging beotch but I have no where else to vent where people will even possibly understand me or care.  LOL  Please excuse me in advance.

The ceremony began at 3:00 and ended at 3:30. We had to arrive early to the reception venue though to drop off the cake that I was asked to make at the last second.  No one was at the venue when we arrived, and we had to call the bride to arrange for someone to come let us into the place to drop off the cake.  We then went to check into our hotel (which you can't check into til 3pm, but the wedding was at 3pm, so we had to pay a fee to get into a room early, even though it was a 'block' room.)

Onto the ceremony.  When we entered the church, there was no organization, no one telling us where to go, nothing.  All the groomsmen were standing at the back of the church.  We had to walk through the group of them, breaking up their conversations, to get to the pews.  The groomsmen's bouts were fake gerbera daisies pinned to their shirts.  No ribbon or anything. The church was not decorated except for the sand ceremony containers at the front. 

The ceremony was over at 330 and we headed to the reception hall, 17 miles away.  We arrived at the reception area and there was a big, empty room with flourcescent lights and long tables set up with dark grey folding chairs (the metal kind).  The tables had white plastic table cloths on them and bowls of peanuts were set out.  A few of the 'reserve' tables had lanterns on them, but the flourcescent lighting was so bright lanterns didn't really have much of an effect.  The head table had a string of lights on it and vases with water in them to hold the bouquets, no other decor was in the ginormous room.  The bouquets were fake though, so vases with water confused me. 

At 7pm, dinner was put out.  That's right, 3.5 hours later.  We sat in the venue eating peanuts and drinking punch for 3.5 hours.  No music, no dj, nothing.  Just people sitting around waiting.  For HOURS.  I can't emphasize how awkward this was.  Dinner consisted of beef on buns, potato salad, and fruit salad on styrofoam plates with plastic cutlery.  It was served buffet style. The bar opened.  Beer was served in pitchers by family friends walking around table to table.  18 year olds were served, and carried around their own beers all night long.  That's a whole other story.

At 7:30, the bride walked into a room of people eating.  Still no dj.  She walked in with the groom and photographer and proceeded to cut the cake for pictures.  Then they sat down with the wedding party and ate.  No one knew they were cutting the cake except me b/c I happened to be staring at them in disbelief of what was going on with their reception.  It all happened in about 2 minutes. 

After dinner, the entire wedding party, parents, and bride and groom LEFT.  They all brought their cars to the hotel (25 miles from the reception) and took a shuttle back to the reception.  They weren't due back for about an hour.  BUT - they decided to go bar hopping in the meantime with the shuttle!  So it was again HOURS before they returned.  And they returned more drunk than I have ever seen a wedding party.  In the meantime, HEY!  DJ arrives!  But no music still.  He sets up, then helps himself to dinner, THEN the bar, then sits around and chats with guests.  Oh, did I mention he's in jeans and a tshirt?

All in all, it was just a terrible night.  The bride and groom finally returned.  They fell OVER onto the FLOOR after their first dance b/c they were so drunk.  She didn't toss her bouquet till well after 1am.  We left at 2am out of sheer exhaustion. 

We got home this morning and proceeded to sleep the day away.  What a waste of a weekend.  It certainly eases my worries about 'will people think white chair covers don't match our dark tablecloths?'  If I learned anything at this wedding, it's that as long as people are taken care of, full, and able to dance/have a good time, they will be happy. 

Anyone ever experienced a nightmare wedding anything like this? 

'and then burned down their house once she had moved her stuff out...YEA.'

LOLLLLL Wow.

I have to say, this makes me feel A LOT better about all of my fears.  I half-jokingly tell people that my wedding will be disorganized but pretty.  There is no way the disorganization that is my biggest fear could ever stoop to that level!

Thank You, @twocatcupcake!

HA i was thinking why mention 18yr olds being served alcohol... then i remember that the drinking age in america is 21 lol

I'm sorry, but every aspect of that wedding sounds awful.  I would be offended as a guest.  If you don't want to deal with entertaining your guests, then don't invite them.  If I waited around in an ugly boring room for three hours, you bet I'd be expecting more than potato salad.  I honestly would have left after dinner.  I get that people have tight budgets - so have a smaller wedding. 

I know, and I apologized in advance.  Doesn't make it right, but it's how I feel. 

Oh, and I didn't mention, but after dinner, they took up all of the tablecloths and decor.  So we're sitting there, bare tables, staring at each other.  Lovely. 

Yeah that wedding didn't seem too orginized and I do not agree with the wedding party bar hopping while the reception is still happening HOWEVER did you know what their budget was? Maybe they didn't want to put all the money out on retales and flowers that will just die. I don't see the big deal about the bouts having no ribbon, there being very few decorations, using sytrophom plates (which is what is being used at mine) and fake flowers (which will also be used at mine) like seriously, so what?    ...maybe they were more concerned about their wedding being a celebration of them and didn't worry about all the little details which frankly is the way it should be.

@beekiss2: OK you obviously did not read the entire OP.  Are you going barhopping while the rest of your guests sit around eating peanuts from 3:30pm to 7pm, with no music or couple photos or other type of entertainment?  I am guessing no.  Honestly, you seem over-sensitive about your wedding.  All I was trying to say is that the couple needs to take their guests' comfort into consideration, and if they can't/won't do that for whatever reason they should invite less people so that everyone can have fun.  It seems like you are being more than considerate of your guests, and your wedding sounds perfect to me.  

@beekiss2 : I don't think decor makes or breaks a wedding - it's not one of our priorities at all - but seriously, if you're going to ditch your guests for 3 hours I think it's only polite to stick a few candles on the tables around the peanuts, maybe some photos of the two of you.  I've been to low-budget weddings that were awesome, and 6-figure weddings that sucked; what matters is how included and valued your guests feel.

Futuremominlaw - We were told to park our cars and take a shuttle to the wedding, and the shuttle didn't leave til 2am.  We were stuck in hell until then.  LOL

"I love how hoity-toity and self righteous when it comes to posts like these." 

Saying that it's okay to have gray folding chairs, artificial flowers and a buffet on styrofoam is not hoity toity.  It is, however, hoity toity to harshly judge a wedding based on those things.  It's also not self-righteous.  This is supposed to be a community where you are encouraged to create the wedding you want and can afford.  I hope no one on here is planning a reception that is similar to this one because posts like this would make them feel grossly inadequate because they may not want or be able to afford sprawling center pieces and chair covers.

It's true that the disorganization and drunkeness was rude, but that's the only thing that anyone should complain about because at the end of the day they got a free meal.  And to be honest, they could have called a cab if they wanted to leave so badly.

i think it was the disrespect the OP felt from the beginning (no organization of timing/hotel, ceremony) that set the tone of this event. 

I very much believe that a wedding and the reception is not about the couple (shocking, i know!) but a way of celebrating with the people you are inviting. It's annoying how everyone keeps going on about how it's YOUR day and you can do what you like. You should treat your guests like gold (within your means) and make them feel welcomed and loved and that their presence at your wedding is a true blessing. 

Little things like not enough drink, cheap flowers and whatnot would go unnoticed if the guests felt honoured. 

Wow, it sounds terrible. Why did you stay so long without the bride and groom being there??