(Closed) I just can't shake the "I'm fat" frame of mind

posted 5 years ago in Full Figured
Post # 4
Member
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

🙁 im so sorry youre being made to feel that way.

i think you should do the boudior session. it well help you see how beautiful you really are. we often have a really hard time seeing ourselves. esp with d-bags like your FMIL making you feel so self concious.regardless of how much you weigh on your wedding day, your FI loves you the way you are. 

Post # 5
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Actually a boudoir session with a good photographer might be just the thing for you right now, in my opinion. To see photos of yourself looking sexy and confident may remind you of just how beautiful you are, regardless of the current number on the scale. I know this is a rant, but I hope you can find a way through this to feel more self-confident, because no matter how you feel about your weight right now, everyone looks beautiful on their wedding day, and I mean everyone!

Post # 6
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Hi sweetie! I feel the same way. I am having the same issues as you are (exactly the same!). Don’t be upset. You have a wonderful man who loves you for who you are and that is all that matters. Look at the positive- You are getting married!!!!!!!!

My mother in law has been a nazi ever since the engagement and throwing hints, the other day she even told me I should cut my hair short after me telling her several times I am trying to let it grow for the wedding. I know exactly how you feel. Just know that you are not alone. I am sorry about your mom, sending you both my best wishes 🙂 xoxo

Post # 7
Member
8044 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@augustbabe05:  Don’t compare yourself to the other girl. I know it’s hard not to, but it is what it is. Focus on improving yourself… not comparing yourself to a thin 18 yr old. Your future MIL doesn’t sound the nicest, but remember that the young girl hasn’t done anything to you. Try to get to know her vs. being jealous of her from afar – it might help.

Aim for a healthy lifestyle change. At this point it might be too late to lose your goal weight before the wedding… but in the end, your wedding is only ONE day. Get into a healthy routine and you will feel better overall. You’re getting married because your fiance loves you, just the way you are 🙂

I hope your mom gets better soon.

Do the boudoir session. It might help you feel sexy again!!

Post # 8
Member
1438 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I felt the same way. But you know the only person that matter is your FI and he loves you just the way you are. On your wedding day you will feel beautiful no matter what. If your FMIL is making you sad and is making comments tell her to back off. Goodluck to you

Post # 9
Member
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Your fiance clearly loves your body, or he wouldn’t be marrying you.  I’m sure he thinks you’re beautiful, so why would you want to hide from him? It’s just a myth that men all want skinny girls.  That’s not true at all, in fact, a lot of magazines geared toward men have much bigger, bustier women in them.  Just because you think you’re too big, doesn’t mean he does.  Hang around some men sometime, and you might be surprised. My guy friends always go for the bigger girls.  The media has just convinced us otherwise.

Post # 10
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I totally agree with the other bees about doing the boudoir session! Those photographers know how to shoot in a way that maximizes your assets. The pictures really should make you feel sexy and beautiful. Clearly, your fiance loves you just the way you are. You have a lot on your plate right now, so don’t beat yourself up over your weight. Be proud that you are a dedicated and loving daughter, fiance and friend. If your FMIL can’t see that, she is the one who is losing out.

Post # 11
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Ok, here’s the deal – it’s your wedding and YOUR day. You are marrying the man who loves you, just as you are. Enjoy that…

No one can make you feel good about your weight and how you look, except for you. It sounds like you are making an effort, but for a lot of women, myself included, our bodies resist loosing the weight. For me it’s hard to maintain my current weight, much less loose more. Planning a wedding is stressful enough

The CDC just declared wedding is as stressful as preparing for and surviving a hurricane, They issued a Wedding Planning Survival Kit – go figure. But in reality, it’s true and stress can make it harder to loose weight. Don’t get so caught up in your weight that you loose your focus on the goal of marrying the man of your dreams, right.

I know its tough to think about doing pictures when you aren’t feeling 100% beautiful. But I think it would be great if you prepared for it now. I’m a semi-pro photographer and always tell people to study themselves in the mirror to learn what angles make them look best. side view, 3/4 view, holding your chin out to minimize a double chin, tilting your head to the side to show more neck, bending one knee to give the illusion of an hour-glass figure – modeling 101.

I also found another bride who did her own boudoir session and created a “Little Black Book” for her FH. It was awesome. Here’s a link to what she did and how she did it. http://www.weddingbycolor.com/mrstauriac/milestones/184079

DIY and save, plus feel comfortable with yourself. I LOVE THIS IDEA – and even though I’m an old married woman now, I may do the same thing for my hubby for his B-day!

Plus, once you pick your dress, there’s no going back (weight wise) so maintain where you’re. And if anyone says anything about the dress, just tell them you have to fill the dress out just right 😀

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