- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
Hi bees. I really hope I’m not the only one who has felt this way because I’m struggling right now…
I got engaged to an incredible man in November of 2011 and the wedding is only 11 days away! The problem is, I just don’t care anymore. I don’t care about the flowers, or the table settings, or the seating chart, or the rehearsal… I just don’t care.
One catalyst is that I despise my fiance’s family. Without getting into years worth of stories, they’re classless trash who may as well have crawled right out of a filthy cave. They will, without a doubt, cause a ridiculous stir at the wedding because they cause a ridiculous stir everywhere. Despite my pleading with them for the past 18 months, rest assured someone will get high on cocaine, someone will get naked, someone will get punched, someone will get cheated on and someone will get arrested. Toss in some drunken political rants and theft, and you’ll have a typical event with my fiance’s family. If my fiance didn’t look so much like his father you’d swear he was adopted because he is nothing like these disgusting excuses for human beings. *sigh*
We started out with a guest list of 100 people and as of last night, we’re down to 73. I’m so glad I spent the money on table linens, candy buffet items, decorations, food, alcohol and favors for the nearly 30 people who RSVP’d yes and then nonchalantly told me they can no longer make it for various reasons, one being a “houseboating party, woo!!”. Half of the guest list is comprised of people I either don’t know or wish to God I didn’t know and as much as I tell myself to just accept the situation, it’s difficult not to let the bitterness creep in when I think about all the time, money and effort I’ve spent on a wedding for people I can’t stand. The plan was to have a destination wedding in the Carribean, as this has been my dream since I was a little girl. However my fiance’s family wanted a party here at home and for some foolish reason, I caved. I have no one to blame for this situation but myself. That said, I am grateful for all of MY friends and family who are coming. Their presence and love will help to make this a special day.
14 days after the wedding, my husband-to-be and I are moving to another country for a year as I’ve been asked to take on a project in one of my company’s other offices. In addition to my fiance’s family complaining that they’ll never see him because they can’t afford to come visit (we’re not moving to Malaysia here – we’re going from western Canada to Texas), my fiance, who is normally an amazingly supportive man, has decided that “I’ve got this” and has done absolutely nothing to help me get this move organized. I’ve told him how badly I need his help but as soon as I ask him for it the response I get it, “Well I don’t know how to do that…” Funny, 20 minutes ago you were a brilliantly intelligent man. As soon as I said the word “relocation,” you literally lost all brain capacity. Thanks, love.
Work is awful. I love my job, but I hate my environment and am not looking forward to being around the project team I’ve been assigned to in Texas. Unfortunately my area of expertise is highly specialized and it’s incredibly difficult to find another job in my field (believe me, I’ve tried!). I’m the bread winner so unfortunately quitting or taking a pay cut for another role is not an option right now. But this too, shall pass, it’s just that the timing is way off.
I adored my venue at first but have since developed a severe case of regret. The horrible customer service combined with the thousands I’ve spent on hidden costs that were not addressed in the contract or by the staff, have really made me resent my choice. We’ve had to have tense meetings about them messing up the linens, the size of the hall, the music, the fact that they ordered new chairs with square backs after myself and 4 other brides ordered and paid for chair covers with rounded backs, the tax, the alcohol (you specialize in weddings and you don’t have champagne and you refuse to bring it in even if I pay extra for it?! $8 bottles of white zinfandel are not a champagne substitute! Unless of course you live in Myrtle Manor…).
My FMIL is furious that I won’t let her use my wedding photographer so she can get family portraits done with her and her sisters ALONE and away from the wedding, she’s mad that I won’t let her invite everyone and their flight attendant to my rehearsal dinner (this may be cool with some people but I want my rehearsal to be for the wedding party, parents and siblings ONLY as my way of saying thanks for all of your help with the wedding. If we start inviting everyone else, that’s just another wedding reception!), she’s mad that I won’t invite her disgusting youngest son’s equally disgusting girlfriend to get ready for the wedding with me and my bridesmaids (she’s not in the wedding party – I repeat, she’s not in the wedding party), and she’s really angry that my fiance and I aren’t registering for wedding gifts. We’re in our 30s and have been together for years: A) we have everything we need already, B) our household goods are being packed by the movers before the wedding so we’d have no way of getting everything down to Houston without paying a fortune for it and C) What do you care whether or not we get gifts?! Finally, she’s extremely angry with us for not renting our home out to her FOR FREE while we’re on assignment in Texas so she can finally leave my FFIL.
There’s so much more but I don’t know if I even have the energy to rehash all of it. I know I’m blessed – with the exception of him suddenly becoming lazy over the move, I was given an absolutely incredible man with a heart of gold who loves me and proves it to me every day of our lives. I have, for the most part, wonderful family members and friends who have been supportive and encouraging. I’m lucky to even have a job, as so many people in the world don’t right now. And despite the kind of people they are, my fiance’s family members care deeply for him and the more people in the world who love him, the better off he’ll be. I’m just having “one of those days” where I’m struggling to remember to count my blessings and it’s causing me to become completely detached from this entire wedding process.
Did anyone else reach a point where they were excited to marry their man but just didn’t care about any of the details anymore? Thanks for “listening”.
– The Blase Bride