Post # 1
I just married my husband March first, and we werent TTC but left it open to chance.
As of yesterday we found out we have to move, we are renting from a family member with a double morgage. So we atarted talking about either renting or buying and decided that buying is a better option since renting not only cost more than a morage most times, but we are looking to start our lives together in a new permanent home.
Then today, after two weeks of torture from my body including not being able to sleep, constant peeing, and never being able to say no to food, I took a pregnancy test. Its positive. And i dont know how to tell my husband!! he is already worried about being able to buy a home, i dont want to make him more stressed.
Any advice on what i can do?
Post # 3
I’m not really sure what advice you’re looking for…..are you asking buy vs. rent? Tell your husband vs. don’t?
You and your husband are life partners, and as such, you should face everything that comes as a united team. Tell him your great news (probably shouldn’t be much of a surprise since you weren’t actively trying to avoid it), and discuss your options.
If you are looking for housing advice, put together a pro/con list of buying vs. renting. Do a budget and pick the one you feel comfortable with. There’s nothing wrong with renting until you feel financially comfortable to buy.
Post # 4
Well, first of all, you need to tell your husband. Then you two need to discuss what makes sense for you financially. Are you able to realistically afford a new baby AND a new house on your current salaries? Will you still have enough in savings after buying a house to handle baby and house emergencies? Buying a house might still be the best idea for you guys. You might just have to adjust your expectations on what you can afford. It might make more sense for you guys to find a new rental for a year or so while you adjust to your new family and save up more money. Like having a baby, buying a house is a big step, and it’s not something that should be rushed. Since you’re already having the baby, don’t feel pressured to buy a house if you’re not ready. Only you and your husband can make that decision though.
Post # 5
If it makes you feel better, we’re also buying a house while I’m pregnant! Like you with the marriage/house/baby, it seems we really like to pile on the stressors – we moved to a new state for his new job last summer, and two months later decided to TTC, got pregnant the first try, and then decided to start looking at houses last month!
I agree with the previous poster – evaluate your finances with your husband and determine the best course of action with the house buying/renting. Don’t worry, everything will work out! 🙂
Post # 6
Congrats! And take a deep breath to relax for a little bit. I’m in a similar situation. I Recently found out I’m pregnant and we were supposed to get married in Sept (we’ve since moved the wedding date up to June) and we’ve been house hunting for about a month. For us, buying will be much cheaper than renting since we would need to upgrade to a 2 bedroom apartment and FI rents a work space. So, a house will give us all the live/work space that we need. You need to tell your husband what is going on. You two are in this together. I know it can be overwhelming, but if you sit & talk together and look at all your options you will figure out what is best for you. You may also need to change your lifestyle a bit, if you haven’t already. For instance, I really budget for groceries and household items now and stick to it. I haven’t shopped for clothes/shoes, etc for a while (although I will now need to get some maternity items) and we really cut down on eating out. We are even going to get rid of cable and just use Hulu or Netflix to save some money. All these little changes combined really add up and the money we’re saving can be put towards home & baby.
Post # 7
I think you need to tell him, and then sit down and re-do your budget to see if buying is still the right answer. If you were looking for a permanent home in the first place, you were probably planning on buying something that has room for a kid(s)?
However, if you’re unsure what the costs will exactly be, of if you’re going to drastically change your income by one of you not working or working less, then you might not want to commit to a mortgage/home ownership right now.
Post # 8
@mggBoyles: There are a lot of choices you can make with the baby to save money and stress. cloth diapers, breast feeding being two. Perhaps you’ll have to settle for a starter home from now and can upgrade later when youre more financially stable? Or even rent to own?
I would also suggest looking into a program called NACA. You have to go to credit counseling but the savings on your home would be well wort it.
Congrats on your pregnancy!
Post # 9
Congrats on the pregnancy! Just wanted to say, babies are only as expensive as you make them. 2nd hand stores, consignment stores, rummage sales all help keep costs down. Sit down with dh and discuss this all with him. If your budget can handle it you might want to weigh out a newer house with less modifications/work to be done vs an older home that you might have repairs or modifications to do either to move in or shortly after. Good luck!
Post # 10
thank you all so much for your words of wisdoma! i did tell my husband and he is so excited! we are talkingover renting for now, but are also looking into getting pre approved. thank you all for your thoughts. waiting a couple more weeks before we tell all of our friends but our families are both awaiting the first grandbaby!
Post # 11
Congratulations! Glad you DH was excited!
My husband and I decided to sell our house and buy a larger home soon after we found out I was pregnant. We thought that having more space would make things easier (and in a lot of ways it has). For me, buying/selling/moving while pregnant was stressful but doable. However, my husband is prone to anxiety/depression and it proved to be too much for him. He was majorly overwhelmed/dpressed/anxious and has still not recovered. If I’d known how he was going to get, I’d never have moved at that time. I guess my advice would just be to carefully evaluate your budget (daycare has been the biggest expense for us) and also how well you both handle stress/change, etc. If you’re both super adaptable and the budget works out, then I’d go for it. If you think it might make either of you feel overwhelmed, then I’d wait.
Post # 12
@78h2o: thanks so much for the advice! my husband is a do-er, thats for sure lol. im the one that is bad with change. being pregnant has been very stressful and im finallly getting used to it.