I just got this email… how to reply?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3009 posts
Sugar bee

@engleman10513:  just say “thanks for your note! We had a tight guest list and had to opt not to include kids. Ivan really looking forward to celebrating with you guys!”

Post # 4
600 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I think she gave you the perfect ‘out’ to say that you are having an adult only reception.

Post # 5
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@Honey-Bee:  +1


I think it’s nice that she asked and her note gave me the impression that she was cool either way.

Post # 6
398 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

It sounds like the person just wants to know what you prefer, She doesn’t seem pushy at all. I suggest something like the following:

Sue Ellen,

I am so happy to hear that you got our invitation! We’re very excited, it’s just around the corner now. Due to the time/location/whatever of the wedding, we’re not planning on having any children there. Thank you so much for checking with us. I would have hated for little Susy to have been bored all night. If you are still able to attend, let me know if you need any help finding a sitter.

I would love to fid a time to see you and Suzy before/after the wedding. I can’t believe she is two already. Let me know if there is an afternoon that works for you and I can stop by for a visit.



Post # 8
7013 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@engleman10513:  I’ve been to weddings where close relatives’ kids were invited but others weren’t. I’d write something like this:

“Hi Sue. We aren’t inviting children except for very close relatives. Unfortunately it’s just not practical to invite everyone’s children. I hope that’s ok and that you and Steve can still be there. Love, Engleman10513”.

Post # 9
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

+1 to the PP’s. Sounds like she’s coming either way and really is just confirming. I wouldn’t apologize or make excuses. “Hi Family Friend, we’re so excited that you’re coming.  It’s a semi-kid free wedding, with the exception of our nieces and nephews.”  (Or whoever the kids are.) I’d probably avoid using the word “closely” if you can, since it might imply unintentionally that she’s not close.

We’re having a kid-free wedding and all the mom’s are excited to be able to get dressed up and have a night out, so don’t assume it’s a negative thing. 🙂 

Post # 10
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@engleman10513:  I had this exact situation. I had my niece, nephew, 2 younger cousins, and my god sisters daughter because she recently lost her son and I couldn’t imagine asking her to leave her child with a sitter since I’m sure she’s still shaken up. I politely told my friends who asked that I’m only including a handful of close kids and that we are just nearing our budget. Everyone was so understanding! 

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