(Closed) I just need to rant.

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
112 posts
Blushing bee

this sounds like such a frustrating & stressful situation

have you talked to your Fiance about how you feel yet? would he be able to back you up? 

Post # 4
2867 posts
Sugar bee

Have you considered a park with a pavillion?

Post # 5
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Aw, getting married in your mother’s dress at the church your parents got married sounds like an awfully sweet idead to me.  That is, if the sentimentality of it is your style.  Some girls would prefer that, while other would prefer something unique to them.  It depends on what you want.  Is it more meaningful to you for you to wear your mother’s dress and get married in the same church?  If so, then I’d say go for it!

I can’t image how hard it would be to have use someone else’s money to plan a wedding.  I think I would chafe under the pressure as well.  Neither my family nor my fiance’s is pitching in with the wedding, so the only money we are spending is our own.  We don’t have that added pressure of being irresponsible with someone else’s money, nor are we required to meet their expectations.  However, we have the struggle of getting what we want and what we can afford so it isn’t without it’s cons.  The hardest part of paying for the wedding ourselves has been deciding what was most important for us.  We have had to sacrifice some of the things we wanted because of cost.  So, there is still things you have to worry about if you did decide to pay for it yourself.   In the end, you may be happier for it though.

Post # 6
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I’m in a similar situation and all I have to say is: Do what makes you happy, and screw the naysayers. I’m planning the wedding that isn’t what I want and no one is happy… I hate planning it, my Fiance hates that I’m not excited, and I’m sure people are tired of hearing me complain. lol.

Worst case scenario, try to compromise. Pick a venue that’s more “his parents”, but throw a party that’s more you and your man!

Weddings are stressful. Try to find a little calm in all the crazy

Post # 7
762 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

What about a “fancier” brunch? The brunch prices are usually WAY cheaper than dinner and you would feel like it’s nice enough? I would talk to Fiance and FIL’s about your concerns; you want to be thrifty if they are so generous to pay. Maybe you can convince them that a brunch, bbq, any other idea is the new wedding trend?

Post # 8
966 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

You and your fiancee need to decide exactly what kind of wedding you want and stick to your guns. Don’t let anyone bully you into a wedding you won’t be totally happy with. Just because they’ve offered to pay, doesn’t mean they get to have the wedding of their dreams.

Post # 9
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

My thoughts are this: TALK TO THEM!  Ask them what they were thinking for the wedding, tell them what you AND your Fiance were thinking and go from there.  You will never get over this stress if you don’t actually ask them what they want!  I know plenty of backyard weddings that were far from inexpensive btw, just like I’ve been to formal weddings that weren’t totally on a budget!  You’re wedding is what you make it!  Just talk about it go from there.  Good luck!

Post # 10
14 posts

Definitely talk to them about it. If you look at the weddings of “old money” types, they’re almost always have the reception in someone’s backyard, so it’s not necessarily a low class thing to do.

Tell them that you think the reception should be in their backyard because you want to celebrate the closeness of family, and it would mean so much more to you.

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