On a differing view point, I was the bridesmaid of my little sister a few years back. She’d been with her boyfriend about 5 years and I’d been with mine about 8. The moment she became engaged peopel startedsaying stuff to me ‘Oh…always the bridesmaid, never the bride’ (I’d been briedesmaid twice before), ‘oh! What a shame! Your little sis is engaged vefore you’,or ‘this must be so hard for you’ etc. etc. People seemed to want to push me into jealousy and upset. It was more other people’s opinions on what I may have felt liek about my sister becoming engaged. On the contrary, I was in a relationship longer than her but our lives were totally different, I’d been to uni and done a Masters and had applied for a third degree, she’d left school. saved money and bought her own house.
My sisters wedding day was the best day of my life. I was so proud of her, I enjoyed it from the night before where we got to share the same room again, chatting into the night to the morning where we played board games and had breakfast and lunch as a family. Seeing her in her gown and with her makeup done made me cry (and not with jealousy) but because it was MY little sister and she was so beautiful and I was os so proud of her. I walked behind her down the aisle, tearing up and barely made it through my reading because I was crying so much (sorry sis!). It was the best day of my life. My boyfriend and I danced til midnight (we were quite drunk!) and I was as giddy as a top. I loved it from the moment it began (when she got engaged on Christmas day 2009) to when she got married (August 2010).
I was that girl who’d been in a committed long term relationship for 10 years before I got engaged (we’d both concentrated on school) and had all my friends and family marry around me. Sure I was sometimes sad it wasn’t me but NEVER jealous. I was so happy for each of my friends that my little bit of sadness melted away when I hugged them and saw their ringbling! 🙂
I didn’t understand all the comments of ‘this must be hard for you’ and ‘what a shame – your’e the older one!’. AND these comments did raise their head quite often, from friends and peopel I worked with etc. Maybe thay have been subject to the same pressures without which they would have all been naturally pleased as punch to be a part of such an important day?
Now, I’m not saying that your situation is the same as mine, but I just wanted to point out that sometimes the bridesmaids can get outside help for prompting jealousy if you know what I mean. I really wouldn’t feel guilty because, like me, they will be so totally happy for you and the beginning of your new journey…they may, at times, feel a bit sad because it isn’t them but that’s a slightly different emotion to jealousy I think (I may be wrong, though!).
Please don’t feel guilty, it IS (as a PP said) your time to shine and guilt will only takeaway from your happiness. A bride will always look the best, because she is the bride -despite the fact if she is pysically the most attractive woman in the room. I have three bridesmaids at my weddign in August (yes! It FINALLY happened to me! lol!!) and all three are extremely beautiful. My sister is petite, beautiful and cute as a button, my friend tall leggy blonde and amazing looking and my third bridesmaid has an amazing face and the worlds most beatiful hair. I know that they are all ‘prettier’ than me but at that moment in time I will be the bride and their beauty will not distract from my own but enhance it. Please please dont feel bad, or that they will look better than you because if they are good people and your true friends they will be as super happy as I was for my sister and my cousins and all my friends who got married before me! Plus you are the bride and you will always be beautiful.