Post # 1
I gave two weeks notice at work today and I’m a little panicked about this. I was starting to feel so incredibly stressed, and my stress was increasing each day as the wedding got closer. Now the wedding is 4 months away and I just don’t think I can sustain this for four months! I’m starting to look run down and I’m not performing as well. So I Quit—ahhhhh!
Before I got engaged, I basically liked my job. After I got engaged, I couldn’t focus on a thing at work, and I was up all hours of the night doing wedding stuff. It had gotten to the point where my work performance was suffering because I was constantly distracted by calls from vendors…etc.
My fiance does quite well financially, so I don’t necessarily “need” to work. I was an hourly admin worker with no benefits. I took this job a few months ago. At the time, I wasn’t engaged and felt restless. The job was really just for a little extra spending money and something to keep me busy. I’m not on a “career track” per se.
I really do think I made the right decision, but I wonder if I’m going to regret this five months down the road, when the wedding is over. I know I can always get another job after we’re married and moved into our new place. But it’s still sad to leave a job where I liked my co-workers.
Also, my parents and some of my friends are being terribly unsupportive of my choice. They think I’m irresponsible and not being an “independent woman” or something and that I just need to “calm down” and learn betting coping skills.
My fiance is supportive. I think he preferred that our not work and be relaxed and happy before the wedding. Like I said, my income really wasn’t affecting our financial picture by much.
Post # 3
Well, short of begging for your job back there isn’t much you can do at this point, so I would try to be at peace with your choice. I also work as an hourly associate with limited benefits, and so I can relate to not feeling totally invested in your job. What I’m doing now doesn’t use my degree in any way, and I will be gone in a heartbeat when I get offered a teaching job. But it pays the bills for right now, and I have a LOT of fun at work (love my coworkers).
Four months is a long time to go with no employment though. Quitting one month before the wedding is one thing, but 4 seems like a lot of time to fill. I’ve always worked (and always dreamed of being a stay at home mom one day!) so I’m envious that you are in a position where your FI does well enough to support the both of you. I would use this time to work on a plan to get you into a career that you love post-wedding. Don’t try to find another job because a new job will never let you have time off for your wedding/honeymoon right after you get hired.
Post # 4
I have been unemployed a little over a year. I got laid off and then decided to go to beauty school. I am still on unemployment for another month and I should be looking for jobs but I REALLY don’t want too lol. FI makes enough for both of us too and although I don’t have to work I know I should start looking. I do think that maybe you need to cope a little better with the stress though, my wedding is about 3 months away and I have not really felt like it’s taking to much of my time. I really don’t know the scale of your wedding though so maybe yours needs a lot more planning. In any case it’s only a few months! enjoy the wedding panning and worry about a job after, especially if FI is being supportive.
Post # 5
Sounds like you have a guy that truely loves you and wants you to be happy. Your parents have the best in mind for you. Don’t worry about a job until after the wedding. To be all stressed out before the wedding is not worth the job you had. Enjoy the wedding process.
Happy for you!
Post # 6
Oh, I won’t get another job until after the wedding, for sure. I am living with my parents right now, until the wedding, since it was a weird gap time between a lease and when fiance and I move into our new condo. We’ll buy it this summer and move our stuff in, but probably won’t both “live” there until after the wedding (we’re traditional sorts…)
Also, fiance isn’t “sugar-daddying” me right now. I have plenty of savings that will sustain me for 6 months to a year, especially with my living at home now and saving rent $$$.
Post # 7
I reckon good decision. why should you be in a job that your getting unhappy with?? Good for you! I wish I could do the same!
Post # 8
I think you should do what makes you happy. But as a woman, I think you should still have a job/career (wait until post-wedding as you have the luxury of being able to). If something should happen to your husband, or your marriage (touch wood it won’t)? What if your husband was made redundant or his company went down the toilet? You need to be prepared to support yourself and your family.
You’re so lucky! In fact, Americans, you’re all lucky. In New Zealand a couple/family cannot survive on one income. Well, unless their partner earns a wad of cash. The average person earns NZ$45,000 per year which is about USD$32,000. That’s before tax. Considering the average power bill is about $200 and then double that in winter, and rent on a 3 bedroom house even in slums is about $400 per week, then you can bet that you’ll need more than one income. I haven’t even touched on food, phones, travel, car, etc.
I wish I had been born in a country where a woman had the option of being a stay-at-home mum without having to marry a rich specialise private practice doctor or defence lawyer. 😉
So maybe my advice would be ENJOY IT!!! But do remember that life is short, anything could happen and you need to be prepared.
Good luck for your wedding 🙂
Post # 9
I think you need to make your decision and stick by it, not rationalize it on here. If it’s what works for you great, you don’t need to convince us! Good luck with your planning 🙂
Post # 10
I think you have made your decision and you’ll have to go from there. I personally get stressed about wedding planning but I couldn’t imagine planning for 4 months straight full time.
Post # 11
Finding a job isn’t necessarily “easy” right now, but you will be able to find another hourly administrative job when you are ready a lot easier than say, if you wanted to be a specific thing, like the media specialist at XYZ school, or something very specialized. Good for you – If you have savings to sustain, you are going bananas, and you can take some time to rest at your parents why the heck not? I took an unemployment break after college and let me tell you – it was the best decision ever! Just wake up and live, every day? It’s nice to do if you can afford it. After the wedding though you’ll be itching for something to do, so re-entering the workforce won’t be as stressful as it is now.
Post # 12
Well once you’re happy with your decision that’s all that counts right?
Post # 13
I think if you were in a different situation then leaving your job might not be the best idea right now. However, you don’t have rent to pay currently, you have savings, and your fiance earns enough for the both of you so you really don’t NEED to be working right now. If it’s going to help you feel more relaxed then you really did the right thing. I would try looking for a job once the wedding is over just so you have something to do and have it as a backup llike tobin said. But other than that you should just take the time now to enjoy being engaged, enjoy planning and spending time with your fiance 🙂
Post # 14
I plan to find another admin job in the fall, once I figure out where we are living. The job I had was a great company and nice people, but with a 40 minute commute, I was working/driving 7 hours a day for $60/day. My fiance told me that was nuts.
Post # 15
The bottom line is, if you can afford to not work and you don’t want to work and your FI doesn’t care… then thats probably all that matters. But, I do think your family might have a point about coping skills. I mean… MOST people plan weddings and work. Sure, it’d be a lot more fun if I could just quit my job and do this full time, but thats not possible. If your go-to response to anything thats hard is to quit, that might be a problem. But if it was really a reasoned decision that you simply don’t WANT to work (rather than “omg i can’t handle both”) than I don’t see an issue.