I just screwed up :(

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Did I do the right thing allowing her to bring a guest?
    Yes, her husband *might* be able to come so good call! : (14 votes)
    52 %
    No, if he can't RSVP yes right now and it wasnt a "plus one" anyways : (3 votes)
    11 %
    It was fine either way really : (10 votes)
    37 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    137 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @SweetJester:  It’s the same number of people in seats, so I guess I’m confused as to why she would be allowed to bring her husband, but not another friend if that’s your concern.

    Post # 4
    Hostess
    11469 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    @SweetJester:  Allowing someone to bring their SO/Spouse is NOT the same as asking to bring a random person to fill a seat. While they may be upset you did nothing wrong considering you are not granting other guests a random +1.

    Post # 5
    Member
    518 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I think she was being a little too sensitive 🙂  But you are very nice to extend her the random guest, if that’s what she would like to do!

    Post # 6
    Member
    660 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @SweetJester:  Yes, I think you did the right thing for sure!!

    It’s tough to attend a wedding and not be able to bring a guest with you. I have done this at a couple of weddings, and it is so awkward. Definitely so much better if you can bring a friend.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1068 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    @SweetJester:   I think you were fine either way.  My desire to pay for and enjoy the company of my friends’ spouses is way higher than my desire to pay for and meet randos.  But if you can afford the space and the plate, it’s a nice thing to offer.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1243 posts
    Bumble bee

    @SweetJester:  You did nothing wrong. It is rude of her to assume substitutions are acceptable. Invitations are extended to those listed on the envelope and should not be considered transferable. If you specifically listed her and her husband she was out of line to invite or assume she could invite someone in his place. I’m sorry her feelings are hurt but you did nothing wrong and she should have sucked it up and not put you in the position by asking in the first place (unless for some reason she needed an escort, say she was disabled. That is pretty much the only time someone is justified in asking for a plus one or requesting a substitute)

    Post # 9
    Member
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Assuming there are going to be other people from work there, I would have told her she couldn’t bring some random person to my wedding, too!

    Post # 10
    Member
    3693 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I actually think she was the one that was rude by both trying to make a guest substitution and by going around and voicing her displeasure to others.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1064 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    all’s well that ends well. your coworker should chill, to her it’s just a coworker’s wedding and prbly not a reason to be really upset no matter or go up to someone else about it! how about chill. but, sounds like it all worked out so i would let this one go w/o worry as i don’t think you did anything wrong.

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