Post # 1
I love my DF but I am having troubles since we moved in together, being restless over when he will propose. He promised me a new ring (that he picks out) and a special proposal. (He bought a previous ring that I suggested and it had some problems, like a diamond fell out and now a prong is missing so another diamond will probably fall out. However, even though I already have a ring, I don’t like the way he proposed the first time! He kinda just put it in my purse and I was like whats this? and hes like “Your ring.”)
We agreed we’d start all over after a short breakup. I know I could just let him off the hook, but my prong on my ring is damaged now and I am not sure if it can be repaired. I would like him to redesign my ring or at least have the prongs redone. He says I am too anxious and its turning him off. It doesn’t make him want to get my ring and propose that I have been searching the internet and stores for rings again…lol. He says I need to put our family and God first and work on being a great companion first. I have the ring he gave me in my possession though. He said he has wonderful romantic plans, but on the day to day basis, he hasn’t been too romantic.
The longer he takes, the less passion I feel towards him. I’m starting to lose faith that its gonna happen soon. We have financial issues at the moment due to getting our new place together. But I wonder if he can just do something romantic to ask me properly, even if we keep the same ring after it gets fixed. What do you think I should do to calm down about it all? Should I just hand the ring back to him to do with as he wishes?
Post # 2
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
I, personally, think that it is ridiculous when people make their FI’s propose for a second time. He did once, you said yes. Done.
Post # 3
whoa_its_ash: this x1000. It isn’t about a big fancy proposal. He does need to take your ring to be fixed though. x
Post # 4
ayamfree2fly: It sounds like you are already engaged, so I think you should just relax and enjoy your relationship. I’d be rritated about the ring, but if you guys have other pressing financial concerns, I understand why its on the back burner. Can you get a stand in until you get the new ring?
Post # 5
I think you’re focusing a bit too much on a proposal and these notions of romance. I don’t understand how a proposal and new ring can bring back romance…. this is something that should be there before and leading to a proposal. Proposals and marriage wont give you romance of fix relationship issues. If he’s not romatic day to day, a proposal and/or marriage isn’t going to change that.
Post # 6
ayamfree2fly: I think that sounds like a cute proposal. It’s maybe not a grand romantic gesture, but it’s certainly sweet. You shouldn’t ask him to do it over just because it didn’t happen how you wanted it to. I don’t blame him for being turned off if he bought you the ring you wanted and proposed in a cute and quirky way, and you’re just obsessing over not liking the ring and his proposal. If you want to be married to him, you DO need to focus on your relationship with him instead of the ring and proposal.
Are you sure there’s not more going on here than just him not re-proposing? It sounds like between moving in together and having financial troubles, y’all have a lot on your plates. Do you think maybe you’re freaking out about him re-proposing so you don’t have to stress about other problems in your lives?
Get over the proposal thing, but do get your ring fixed. It may even be under warranty.
Post # 7
you’re already engaged. you said you love him. why is it such a big deal to you? he is right that there are more important things to a material thing and a proposal. focus on planning the wedding and enjoy being engaged!!!
Post # 8
Read this. “He says I am too anxious and its turning him off.” Good. Did you read it? Now read it again. And again until you understand what he is saying. You are turning him off. You are already engaged. You do not need a new proposal, it will not make you more engaged. Seek passion in your life elsewhere, a new proposal will not bring it to you. You will likely find something else wrong with it, it wasn’t youtube or blogworthy or there weren’t enough fireworks and you will be unhappy again. This is one, tiny, insignificant moment in your life in the grand scheme of things.<br /><br />Get your ring fixed. Wear it. Love it. Love your fiance, because the proposal is *nothing* compared to marrying the man you love.
Post # 9
You have a kid together and that’s not enough to make you passionate about him? You need a proposal to get the passion back? if you have lost the passion, it’s going to take more than a moment (which is how long a proposal lasts) in order to get the passion back.
If you didn’t like the first proposal, why did you accept? Why didn’t you tell him you won’t say yes until he properly proposes and then give him the details of exactly what you expect (and when) in a proposal?
Post # 10
Kind of a sidenote, but does the ring have a warranty? It’s bizarre that the ring keeps breaking.
Post # 11
pinkshoes: I agree with everything you said. I think a lot of the times our biggest down fall is our expectations. Also, romance doesn’t always mean soft music and candles. Romance will be defined differently for every person so maybe talk to him about what romance is to you and what you would like to see from him. My boyfriends biggest thing is “I am not a mind reader” and too often I forget this, you were so interested in the ring you didn’t relay to him what you expected out of a prosposal. You have already said yes so making him do it agian seems a bit like over kill.
Post # 12
I can understand wanting a new ring or wanting your ring repaired. That’s something you definitely need at some point, though not above other financial obligations.
You don’t need a new proposal though. If I were him I’d be turned off too. He proposed and you said yes, and now you’ve decided that wasn’t good enough and the ring YOU PICKED OUT isn’t good enough and somehow that’s all on him to fix?
You’re ruining your relationship by expecting a fairytale. That’s not real life. Get some perspective.
Post # 13
…and when he gives you your new proposal, and your relationship stays the same (because a proposal, no matter how great, isn’t some magic cure-all), then what?
Post # 14
It had been repaired once before, but after we got the repaired ring back we noticed that one of the stones was damaged. It has four blue diamonds. We tried everything to get the company to fix the messed up stone and they said, “We sent it back to you perfect.” So they refused to fix it. Supposedly there is a warranty, but I don’t know what all it covers if I couldn’t get them to fix what was wrong that time. Now the prong that holds the damaged diamond is broken.
I think I remember what happened. I had snagged it on my pillow at night. When we stopped by a ring shop to see if it can be redesigned or repaired, the woman told me that because a prong was missing it can’t be repaired…I don’t see why if they are able to redesign a ring, they can’t make another setting. Thinking about asking for a second opinion though. And we do need to check into our warranty! He did tell me he was willing to have the ring repaired or redesigned, even with a different diamond. But when the woman at the store said it couldn’t be done, we were a little hopeless.
Post # 15
a_day_at_the_fair: That’s exactly what he says. He says I want a fairytale. I want him to open up more about us and spend more time together. When he talks to me more and tells me how I make him feel and I feel appreciated, I get really turned on. But most of the time he just skips all that.