I just want a real proposal and get the passion back

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
2913 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

I, personally, think that it is ridiculous when people make their FI’s propose for a second time. He did once, you said yes. Done. 

Post # 3
Member
354 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

whoa_its_ash:  this x1000. It isn’t about a big fancy proposal. He does need to take your ring to be fixed though. x

Post # 4
Member
5228 posts
Bee Keeper

ayamfree2fly:  It sounds like you are already engaged, so I think you should just relax and enjoy your relationship. I’d be rritated about the ring, but if you guys have other pressing financial concerns, I understand why its on the back burner. Can you get a stand in until you get the new ring?

Post # 5
Member
13005 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think you’re focusing a bit too much on a proposal and these notions of romance.  I don’t understand how a proposal and new ring can bring back romance…. this is something that should be there before and leading to a proposal.  Proposals and marriage wont give you romance of fix relationship issues.  If he’s not romatic day to day, a proposal and/or marriage isn’t going to change that. 

Post # 6
Member
526 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

ayamfree2fly:  I think that sounds like a cute proposal. It’s maybe not a grand romantic gesture, but it’s certainly sweet. You shouldn’t ask him to do it over just because it didn’t happen how you wanted it to. I don’t blame him for being turned off if he bought you the ring you wanted and proposed in a cute and quirky way, and you’re just obsessing over not liking the ring and his proposal. If you want to be married to him, you DO need to focus on your relationship with him instead of the ring and proposal.

Are you sure there’s not more going on here than just him not re-proposing? It sounds like between moving in together and having financial troubles, y’all have a lot on your plates. Do you think maybe you’re freaking out about him re-proposing so you don’t have to stress about other problems in your lives?

Get over the proposal thing, but do get your ring fixed. It may even be under warranty.

Post # 7
Member
1302 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

you’re already engaged. you said you love him. why is it such a big deal to you? he is right that there are more important things to a material thing and a proposal. focus on planning the wedding and enjoy being engaged!!!

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by  catpeaches.
Post # 8
Member
8706 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Read this. “He says I am too anxious and its turning him off.” Good. Did you read it? Now read it again. And again until you understand what he is saying. You are turning him off. You are already engaged. You do not need a new proposal, it will not make you more engaged. Seek passion in your life elsewhere, a new proposal will not bring it to you. You will likely find something else wrong with it, it wasn’t youtube or blogworthy or there weren’t enough fireworks and you will be unhappy again. This is one, tiny, insignificant moment in your life in the grand scheme of things.<br /><br />Get your ring fixed. Wear it. Love it. Love your fiance, because the proposal is *nothing* compared to marrying the man you love.

Post # 9
Member
1108 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

You have a kid together and that’s not enough to make you passionate about him?  You need a proposal to get the passion back?  if you have lost the passion, it’s going to take more than a moment (which is how long a proposal lasts) in order to get the passion back. 

If you didn’t like the first proposal, why did you accept?  Why didn’t you tell him you won’t say yes until he properly proposes and then give him the details of exactly what you expect (and when) in a proposal?

Post # 10
Member
918 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Kind of a sidenote, but does the ring have a warranty? It’s bizarre that the ring keeps breaking.

Post # 11
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee

pinkshoes:  I agree with everything you said. I think a lot of the times our biggest down fall is our expectations. Also, romance doesn’t always mean soft music and candles. Romance will be defined differently for every person so maybe talk to him about what romance is to you and what you would like to see from him. My boyfriends biggest thing is “I am not a mind reader” and too often I forget this, you were so interested in the ring you didn’t relay to him what you expected out of a prosposal. You have already said yes so making him do it agian seems a bit like over kill. 

Post # 12
Member
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

I can understand wanting a new ring or wanting your ring repaired. That’s something you definitely need at some point, though not above other financial obligations.

You don’t need a new proposal though. If I were him I’d be turned off too. He proposed and you said yes, and now you’ve decided that wasn’t good enough and the ring YOU PICKED OUT isn’t good enough and somehow that’s all on him to fix? 

You’re ruining your relationship by expecting a fairytale. That’s not real life. Get some perspective.

Post # 13
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

…and when he gives you your new proposal, and your relationship stays the same (because a proposal, no matter how great, isn’t some magic cure-all), then what?

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