Post # 1
I feel anxious and scared. I could have worked so much harder to lose some weight and tone up before the wedding. I know that I have 5 months until my wedding… but I am feeling so discouraged. I am finally going in the right direction and I am in a 30 day workout challenge at my gym. I am eating healthy and have lost a little since Christmas. I can also see myself being more toned.
I am not fat and I COULD wear a bikini. I look fine in my dress. I am 5’3 and currently weigh 166 lbs. My dress is a size 12. My hips are very curvy.BUT I do not feel comfortable.
Every time I make progress like this I just stop because I am afraid of going forward.. I know this doesn’t make sense to anyone else but to me, although I start seeing results I get caught up in thinking too far ahead and thinking that there is no point in continuing on with trying to lose weight because I don’t have enough time anyways.
I guess what I am asking is for some encouragement and for some advice to overcome these negative thoughts. Has anyone else struggled? This is very emotional for me because I do not want to feel unhealthy and like I didn’t try on my wedding day. I want to not feel like covering up on my honeymoon.
Just moving forward is a lot easier said than done 🙁
Post # 3
@Seashells7: I TOTALLY feel your pain! In fact, it almost seems like you were describing me (height, weight, body type, everyting)…creepy.
My biggest problem is that when I don’t see results I either get really upset, or I tell myself “Well, everyone loves me the way I am, so I don’t NEED to continue trying” and then I give up. Which turns into me being upset that I gave up.
I could use some motivation too so hopefully some other bee’s have good advice.
One thing I CAN say is that it helps to have supportive people around you. Ask your FI to help you continue doing what you’re doing (dieting, exercising, etc.).
Post # 4
@sarahmichelle: Ah! I am so happy that I am not alone!
it is so confusing to me how I feel so motivated one day and deflated the next. WHy am I devestated with my health one day and so pumped the next? ugh!
My FI is great! He is very very supportive and helps me along, but he also doesnt understand this emotional part wich is hard.
Post # 5
@Seashells7: Maybe if you focus more on feeling healthier on your wedding day, rather than looking hot in a bikini, it could help you stay on track.
I get how you feel about the negative thoughts though. I’m 5’6″ and somewhere between 140 and 150 lbs – I no longer weigh myself because it isn’t good for my mental health. I could wear a bikini too, but I get extremely self concious of my big thighs and my not flat belly.
What helps me with those thoughts is remembering the following: I am beautiful, as are all people. I am worthy of love. My FI loves me exactly as I am and will love me no matter how much I weigh.
Repeat those words in your head when you feel discouraged or let down. And never forget that you are beautiful exactly the way you are – and that you can rock that bikini no matter what.
Post # 6
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
@Seashells7: We are like the exact same size! Except I have less curvy hips. I didn’t try to lose any weight for the wedding, I’m horrible at dieting so kudos to you for eating healthier and getting involved with the gym challenge. Sorry, I don’t have more advice!
Post # 7
@Seashells7: I know what you mean… maybe if you focus on fitness goals, that will help? It’s worked for me to try and increase the number of crunches, miles that I can run without walking while changing my diet by drinking almond milk instead of regular milk, using plain yogurt instead of sour cream, etc.
After 3 months of a strict workout regimen (diet was eat healthfully so I don’t feel terrible in my workouts) I had lost a dress size, had more energy and an awesome tan. Not sure that I necessarily looked better, but I felt amazing and looked happy!
Post # 8
@bitsybee: Thank you for this advice, realistically, as long as I FEEL like i look good, I really dont care what the scale says .. so your experience is exactly what I am looking for !
Thanks for the encouragment bees!
Post # 9
I have a photo of me from when I met FH in front of my treadmill. The visual goal helps me stay on it longer.
Post # 10
@Seashells7: Holy cow are you me? We are the same height and I was at 166 when I started to my “weight loss journey”. Here is what I did:
1. Always switch up workout routines
2. Target heart rate reached AT least for 1 hour 3xs a week
3. Not get discouraged when your weight doesn’t move. Somestimes it’ll take your body a while to realize that it is ok to drop the weight.
4. Set small goals (I.E. not eat dairy for a month). THIS WAS THE KEY THING FOR ME. Small obtainable goals (this helped keep me straight)
5. LOG everything! You may be eating healthy but you’d be surprised how many calories healthy food has. I joined loseit.com for this (it always has challenges to try AND support).
I lost 20 lbs in 4 months doing this.
Good luck! I hope this helps!
Post # 11
@Seashells7: Don’t focus too much on the results on the scale. As another bee stated, focus on your fitness goals. Thinking about how you could do more than when you first started your routine shows results. And think of the great things you are doing for your health.
When you go to the gym, don’t try to do too much and burn yourself out. And even if its a day where you really don’t want to go, dragging yourself there and even just walking for 30 minutes on the treadmill helps get you in your routine, and you may feel the energy to do more.
Its good that you are noticing how you are becoming more toned. Celebrating that progress helps with the feeling of “Hey, I look good.”
Post # 12
@Seashells7: I know what you mean. I used to think similarly, like “why am I even trying when I’m just gonna fail?” I’d never really worked that hard at losing weight because I just didn’t feel it was something I could accomplish.
Then I was invited this past summer to do 5k race this upcoming February. I decided I wanted to learn to run, so I downloaded the 5K Runner (same as Couch to 5k) app on my phone and followed it religiously. My focus moved from losing weight to being able to run 5k. I also started eating healthier, and got engaged which was a big motivator. So once I had real goals (instead of just “I want to be skinny”) it was a lot easier! I’m 5’7 and was 172, I’m now about 158. It’s been a really great experience for me and I’m so excited for the race in 2 weeks!! It’s made me feel more confident as a person and has been the best weight loss method ever. The best part is it hasn’t even been that hard. I’ve lost about a pound a week (not including the past Christmas-food-filled month, although I’ve maintained which is fine with me), and I try not to focus on my weight.
So anyway, I recommend setting a goal related to fitness rather than your weight. It has been totally helpful for me so maybe it’ll work for you too!
Post # 13
@Seashells7: I think if you want to wear a bikini, you can. You’ve obviously worked hard and even if you haven’t met your goal YET, you’ve already made progress.
I am 5′ 4″ and about 160 lbs. I wear a bikini. It’s not a string bikini or anything, but it’s a 2 piece. My “problem areas” are my thighs and stomach, but you know what? I used to weigh 180 lbs at one point in my life, and now that I’m 20 lbs later, I’m wearing that damn bikini! lol
I will never be 120 lbs. Ever. And I don’t want to be.
Ideally, I want to get down to 150 lbs, but I have a TON of other issues going on in my life so weight loss is unfortunately kind of on the back burner right now.
I do go through days where I feel totally fat and disgusting and I just want to wear sweats, but then there are days where I feel sexy and thin and in shape.
It comes and goes and that’s normal.
I actually do have a 1 piece bathing suit just in case I’m going swimming and I feel gross, but honestly I don’t wear it that often.
And on your honeymoon, you don’t know any of those people. You’ll never see them again. Their opinions/thoughts do not matter. Only your opinion matters.
Rock that bikini girl!
Post # 14
@Seashells7: Don’t think about how it went in the past. It doesn’t matter. You’re doing all the right things; just keep on doing them. When I need motivation for stuff like this, I write myself encouraging notes to find the next day, and focus on positive self talk. Something I’ve learned recently is, rathher than just encouraging myself with self talk, is to challenge myself, to ask questions. Instead of “you can do this, Duncan!” I say “can you do this, Duncan?” When I answer “Yes. I can!” it makes a biigger impact.
You can’t control what you’ve done. You can only control what you’re going to do.
Post # 15
@Seashells7: We are almost exact height/weight twins! I get self-conscious too and recently bought a fab strapless one-piece for a holiday coz I didn’t feel comfortable in a bikini.. I plan on losing weight for our wedding honeymoon too!
That said, your/our weight/height ratio is nothing to be ashamed of and I bet you look gorgeous! And I guarentee you 100% you are far more harsh on your own image than anyone else is. Other people don’t see the silly little flaws we see in ourselves, everyone will think you look gorgeous and radiant no matter what (and if you’re in to it, get a spray tan, they instantly make you look/feel skinnier! 😉 )
5 months is also plenty of time to shed a bit extra if you feel you really need to. Stay positive and keep encouraging yourself to stay active and eat well! And try not to let it dominate your thoughts!
Post # 16
@Seashells7: I don’t have much advice, but I just want to let you know I understand and you are NOT alone! Stay strong, and take it one day at a time… time really does fly by and you can make some real progress toward your goals!