(Closed) 'I just want to get your wedding over with so I can focus on your sister's'

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
6032 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Your sister is being a drama queen, as are the people who coddle her. Putting entire colors, “down” hairstyles and chips off-limits to you is a little bit insane.  It sounds like your sister is getting all the attention because she demands all the attention, and that’s not an attractive trait on a grown woman.

My advice: pay for your wedding yourself, along with your fi (I am assuming others are contributing heavily, due to the amount of input they think they can have). Keep your plans secret. Do not ask anyone for any details of your sister’s wedding and if anyone brings it up, tell them that you don’t want to know more because you’re looking forward to a surprise. Then enjoy your wedding and if anyone gets bent out of shape because you dared to serve your sister’s sacred chips, tell them to get a grip.  It’s one thing to ask to not have too many similarities and a complete other thing to put entire food groups off-limits. What’s next? if your sister wants a DJ then you get no choice other than a live band? Stupid.

Post # 3
Member
1473 posts
Bumble bee

I am so sorry this is happening to you. I personally would stop telling them the details of your wedding, and do what YOU want. Don’t worry about what your sister has planned, just have the wedding of your dreams. If you want cupcakes, have cupcakes. Your sister has had 5 years to have a wedding, it’s not fair for you to have to compromise on yours. Do what you want, and leave your family out of the decision making. 

Post # 4
Member
6204 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

In my opinion, her wedding would be a lot less of a deal. They are being horribly inconsiderate, especially since you’re hopefully both only going to have one wedding. Haven’t they all gotten bored of talking about a wedding that is “going to happen someday” for the last five years?

Post # 5
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee

That is something very hurtful to hear from someone who is supposed to be one of your biggest supporters. I’m sorry your family hasn’t been happy or excited for you. 

It’s really wrong for them and your sister to tell you what you can and can’t have. As if you would have chosen the same things anyway. You are a grown woman and you two have your own different tastes. Sometimes things overlap. I mean, how many color combinations and wedding themes are there? People are bound to have commonalities. 

I wouldn’t even discuss anything wedding related with them anymore. Just lean on your husband for support, and vent to the Bee when you need it. 

Post # 6
Member
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Are you paying for your wedding?  If so, get what you want.  If not, I would seriously consider paying for it yourself and doing what you want!

Post # 7
Member
2105 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Your family is being a bunch of drama queens. Don’t let them give thier opinions. Its your wedding not thiers. Your wedding is no less important that your sisters and you deserve to have what you want. I would stop discussing the wedding with them. This is supposed to be a happy time for you. You deserve your dream wedding. 

Post # 8
Member
1622 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Cape May

Nothing should be off limits to you unless it’s out of your reach financially. So consider not sharing every detail with your family and letting it be a surprise. Just plan things as you want them. At the end of the day will you regret not having certain colors or will you regret letting everyone dictate your wedding?

Post # 9
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Just do what you want. Seriously, what is the worst that can happen?

Post # 11
Member
2657 posts
Sugar bee

I’ll get my snarky response out of the way first – next time your sister tells you not to have something, tell her that you would graciously accept her offer to pay for the exact opposite thing for your wedding.

Your FI is on the right track with not involving your family with the details.  1) Your sister has an opinion on all of the details and wants to get in the way, which will never end well, and 2) Removing wedding discussion will also reduce the opportunities for her to act like the center of attention.  It really sucks that they aren’t as supportive of your wedding as they are with your sister.  What they said was incredibly hurtful.  Your FI is super supportive, and your friends probably are too.  Find some new outlets for wedding discussion – friends, FI’s family, here.  If you absolutely have to talk about a wedding decision with your family, don’t open the topic until you have already decided and signed the papers.  

Post # 12
Member
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

 

ZebraPrintMe:  If you know what dress she wants. I can see picking something different, but there is only so much to choose from.  As far as food goes, no one will even remember.  I am sorry she’s being so sensitive.  I would just be as kind as you can be but not let her interfere unduly….

Post # 13
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee

Grrrr! I am annoyed on your behalf! How dare your mum say that! Your sister needs to either get over herself or get married And your parents need to start treating you both the same. Length of engagement shouldn’t dictate how exciting ypur daughter’s wedding is. I just don’t even know what to say!

Post # 15
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

The hairstyle, cupcakes, and food things are totally BS. All of it is really. Is she the only bride ever in history to come up with these ideas, NOPE! 

 

UGH! 

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