I just want to rant…..

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
906 posts
Busy bee

Although I do understand where your coming from. They may be depending on their parents because they don’t have jobs. If i had a daughter who was pregnant, I would do anything to support her but on the otherhand, they would be a few things that would expect. For starters after the baby turn three months I would want her to look for a job, two I would want her to get a college education, and get a stable job. last but not least I would want her to follow some house rules. 

Post # 3
Member
7406 posts
Busy Beekeeper

More power to them. If their parents are stupid enough to let them leech of them that is their problem.

Not how I would choose to live but I am not going to knock them for it. You never can tell when your life is going to take a turn for the worst and find yourself in the same or similar situation.

Post # 4
Member
6506 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

So… Should she have aborted? I mean I do get where you’re coming from but are you even sure this was planned?

Your acquaintance’s parents are just encouraging this. They likely won’t find the need to get jobs until their parents have had enough. At least there is someone around who will care for the baby.

Post # 5
Member
739 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

weddingxobsessed:  I hear ya. Rant away. My sister-in-law has the most adorable 18 month old I’ve ever seen, yet he probably spends more than half of his day in front of the TV, eats crap food (whatever she’s having) and although yes he’s clothed and fed, she doesn’t really do much else for him in the ways of parenting or stimulation or teaching him things. 

The thing you and I need to realize is that that’s just the way things go, and there’s nothing we can really do about it. So all you can take from this situation is think to yourself what you would do differently – in her position, in her parents position, etc. 

Post # 7
Member
8425 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

weddingxobsessed:  Well if their parents are willing to do this, and they’re willing to still live with their parents, I don’t think there is much that can be done.  Just be glad that someone is taking care of that baby.  Making a baby is easy, raising a baby is a whole different story.

Post # 8
Member
1236 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA

MrsBeck:  I have friends who have been in … well, not identical situations, but they had oops-pregnancies while they were in transition periods and struggling to get back on their feet/living with family/borrowing money from friends/etc. They chose not to continue. For some people it’s a pretty good option, honestly; instead of getting trapped in debt and whatnot, they were able to continue “righting course” and are now independent again. So I wouldn’t knock it.

weddingxobsessed:  I get where you’re coming from, but if her parents are ok with the arrangement, who am I to judge? At least she’s not hitting you up for cash. Certainly not a life I’d choose for myself, but there but for the grace, right?

Post # 9
Member
5966 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

 

weddingxobsessed:  My question is why are you friends with this kind of person if it bothers you so much? and if this person isn’t a friend, why are you paying attention to it? if she’s not asking  you to support her or her child, it’s none of your business. I agree that people like this girl really make me irritated but it’s best to focus on yourself and let them deal with their own situation. As for her parents, they are doing what they think is ok and dealing with the situation in whatever way they see fit. That’s also none of your business.

Basically, there isn’t anything you can do about this. So don’t let it get to you too much.

Post # 12
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Who the hell cares? Someone you kind of know is doing something you don’t approve of? Are you TTC and jealous because she has something you want, because otherwise get the hell over it.

Post # 13
Member
5966 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

 

weddingxobsessed:  It’s entirely possible to attend events and still avoid her. I do it all the time. there are people in my larger group of friends that I just dont like and so I just talk to other people when we do things and these people are there. We are all adults and can coexist easily.

I will say this, it’s a hard road she has ahead of her. Regardless of how irresponsible she is or how much of this she causes herself, it’s not going to be easy, with or without her parents or his. So rather than bash her for her poor choices, try and focus on being a more positive person, for your own sake. First, be thankful it isn’t you. Second, whether it’s now or later, she will have to figure out a way to survive on her own, she won’t always have her parents, the later she realizes this, the harder it will be to figure out.

You aren’t forced to deal with this girl. so stop acting like you are. You can easily get up and walk away from a conversation you don’t want to be a part of. You can easily avoid having to deal with or hear about her situation. It’s really not that hard.

Post # 14
Member
5966 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

 

weddingxobsessed:  Also, it’s not rude to leave an event where you aren’t enjoying yourself. It’s not rude to remove yourself from situations that make you uncomfortable. It is rude to expect someone to sit through an event where they clearly aren’t happy. It’s also not very nice to have friends that will invite you places where this girl will be without telling you,  knowing how you feel. Tell your friends it’s fine that they invite the both of you places, obviously that’s their choice, but when you are ready to leave, you will. their permission isn’t needed.

Post # 15
Member
415 posts
Helper bee

This is about every mother I know. Pop out kids (planned or not) when they can’t even take care of themselves. Either sucking of their parents or the system. Then they don’t even want to parent! Hubs ex barely works, her husband doesn’t work, DH pays child support and her mom pays for everything. and now she’s pregnant again. Here I pay all 

my bills, have quite a bit of money, yet I know how much children cost so I won’t be having any.

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