Post # 1
About people who can’t even take care of themselves having kids.
I’m not completely sure where this post should go so it’s going here.
Why I want to rant about this is because I have this acquaintance who happens to be six months pregnant and does nothing all day and hasn’t since she graduated from high school four years ago!
She and her baby daddy/boyfriend/fiancee (depending on the day) live with her parents and they pay for everything for them while she’s pregnant. After the baby is born they are moving in with his mother whose going to do the same thing.
It just makes me really upset that these two can not take care of themselves with out a set of parents but can think about and have kids right now.
Sorry in advance for any typos phones are not the easiest to post from.
Post # 2
Although I do understand where your coming from. They may be depending on their parents because they don’t have jobs. If i had a daughter who was pregnant, I would do anything to support her but on the otherhand, they would be a few things that would expect. For starters after the baby turn three months I would want her to look for a job, two I would want her to get a college education, and get a stable job. last but not least I would want her to follow some house rules.
Post # 3
More power to them. If their parents are stupid enough to let them leech of them that is their problem.
Not how I would choose to live but I am not going to knock them for it. You never can tell when your life is going to take a turn for the worst and find yourself in the same or similar situation.
Post # 4
So… Should she have aborted? I mean I do get where you’re coming from but are you even sure this was planned?
Your acquaintance’s parents are just encouraging this. They likely won’t find the need to get jobs until their parents have had enough. At least there is someone around who will care for the baby.
Post # 5
weddingxobsessed: I hear ya. Rant away. My sister-in-law has the most adorable 18 month old I’ve ever seen, yet he probably spends more than half of his day in front of the TV, eats crap food (whatever she’s having) and although yes he’s clothed and fed, she doesn’t really do much else for him in the ways of parenting or stimulation or teaching him things.
The thing you and I need to realize is that that’s just the way things go, and there’s nothing we can really do about it. So all you can take from this situation is think to yourself what you would do differently – in her position, in her parents position, etc.
Post # 6
MrsBeck: No, she should not have. It was planned once they didn’t go through with the wedding because he kicked her out.
Ap2010: He does have a job, but they still don’t contribute anything for food or bills.
Post # 7
weddingxobsessed: Well if their parents are willing to do this, and they’re willing to still live with their parents, I don’t think there is much that can be done. Just be glad that someone is taking care of that baby. Making a baby is easy, raising a baby is a whole different story.
Post # 8
- Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA
MrsBeck: I have friends who have been in … well, not identical situations, but they had oops-pregnancies while they were in transition periods and struggling to get back on their feet/living with family/borrowing money from friends/etc. They chose not to continue. For some people it’s a pretty good option, honestly; instead of getting trapped in debt and whatnot, they were able to continue “righting course” and are now independent again. So I wouldn’t knock it.
weddingxobsessed: I get where you’re coming from, but if her parents are ok with the arrangement, who am I to judge? At least she’s not hitting you up for cash. Certainly not a life I’d choose for myself, but there but for the grace, right?
Post # 9
weddingxobsessed: My question is why are you friends with this kind of person if it bothers you so much? and if this person isn’t a friend, why are you paying attention to it? if she’s not asking you to support her or her child, it’s none of your business. I agree that people like this girl really make me irritated but it’s best to focus on yourself and let them deal with their own situation. As for her parents, they are doing what they think is ok and dealing with the situation in whatever way they see fit. That’s also none of your business.
Basically, there isn’t anything you can do about this. So don’t let it get to you too much.
Post # 10
rachel85: If her parents were that would be one thing. Her father has never been ok with her doing nothing all day, everyday. So her parents are not ok with the situation but are enabeling it anyway.
Post # 11
stardustintheeyes: I’m not really friends with her. The reason I have to hear about it and it bothers me so much is that she runs in the same circle of friends as I do. So every time we go out as a group and she’s there we all have to hear “poor me. I’m pregnant and I have to depend on my parents for everything.” And because I know that you are likely to ask why I still go if she’s going to be there the rest of my friends have gotten smart and won’t tell me if she is going and make is seem like a coincidence if she walks into where we are and won’t let me leave since it’s “rude” according to them.
Post # 12
Who the hell cares? Someone you kind of know is doing something you don’t approve of? Are you TTC and jealous because she has something you want, because otherwise get the hell over it.
Post # 13
weddingxobsessed: It’s entirely possible to attend events and still avoid her. I do it all the time. there are people in my larger group of friends that I just dont like and so I just talk to other people when we do things and these people are there. We are all adults and can coexist easily.
I will say this, it’s a hard road she has ahead of her. Regardless of how irresponsible she is or how much of this she causes herself, it’s not going to be easy, with or without her parents or his. So rather than bash her for her poor choices, try and focus on being a more positive person, for your own sake. First, be thankful it isn’t you. Second, whether it’s now or later, she will have to figure out a way to survive on her own, she won’t always have her parents, the later she realizes this, the harder it will be to figure out.
You aren’t forced to deal with this girl. so stop acting like you are. You can easily get up and walk away from a conversation you don’t want to be a part of. You can easily avoid having to deal with or hear about her situation. It’s really not that hard.
Post # 14
weddingxobsessed: Also, it’s not rude to leave an event where you aren’t enjoying yourself. It’s not rude to remove yourself from situations that make you uncomfortable. It is rude to expect someone to sit through an event where they clearly aren’t happy. It’s also not very nice to have friends that will invite you places where this girl will be without telling you, knowing how you feel. Tell your friends it’s fine that they invite the both of you places, obviously that’s their choice, but when you are ready to leave, you will. their permission isn’t needed.
Post # 15
This is about every mother I know. Pop out kids (planned or not) when they can’t even take care of themselves. Either sucking of their parents or the system. Then they don’t even want to parent! Hubs ex barely works, her husband doesn’t work, DH pays child support and her mom pays for everything. and now she’s pregnant again. Here I pay all
my bills, have quite a bit of money, yet I know how much children cost so I won’t be having any.