(Closed) I just wonder if anyone else is in my position…

posted 8 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

We had a courthouse ceremony, just for legal purposes, but I wouldn’t even call it a wedding, as it was just me and him.  I guess you could call it an elopement.  He’s a diplomat and was starting a yearlong overseas assignment to the middle east, and we wanted it official before he left just… you know… in case.  But only our immediate families know, and they live across the country and couldn’t come.  We didn’t want our actual wedding celebration (this October) to be viewed as a vow-renewal, or anything less than a “real” wedding, so we’re keeping our courthouse ceremony on the downlow.

Post # 4
Member
330 posts
Helper bee

 I know a lady who got married at the courthouse and is just having a reception this fall.

Post # 5
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Also, a bunch of the Bees had a legal ceremony before their actual wedding celebration — like Jellyfish (military), or pretty much any Bee who’s marrying someone foreign (visa requirements).  You’re definitely not alone!

Post # 6
Member
756 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Not yet, but we are considering it.  I lost my job a month ago, and thus lost my health insurance.  Applying for insurance on my own is taking far too long and is endlessly confusing, and we reached a point where we planned to get married at the courthouse just so I could share his insurance coverage.  We even got the marriage license.

Our parents were disappointed that we wouldn’t be having a “real wedding,” even though we told them we would do that later.  After much discussion, we told them we would wait to get married and have a bigger wedding next year. 

But almost as soon as we told them that, I began to feel that I really don’t want the big wedding.  My FH and I are very quiet people, and neither of us will feel comfortable being the center of attention at a big event. We will not read our vows for an audience, we will not have a first dance (FH probably won’t dance at all).  I’m seriously considering just having a courthouse ceremony with our parents and having a big party at some later time.

Post # 7
Member
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Hey similarity twin, we just eloped (on Monday!) and are considering having a larger wedding next year.  I know there are other bees who have done this 😉  I am just not sure if we are/ want to/ when we will.  I am just not sure!

Post # 9
Member
1510 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I have friends who were military brides do this exact thing – good luck!!  I’m sure it will be amazing to celebrate with everyone 🙂 

Post # 10
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@brandonismine09: Why do you need to mention it to your vendors at all?  I agree, it only serves to cause confusion.  And they don’t really need to know that you’re already married.  It’s not like you’re deceiving them with something they need to know.  I say, just skip that bit of information and carry on planning the wedding as usual!

Post # 11
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2010

*raises hand*

Yep! We did it. Just the two of us and the justice of the peace. A few of our family members know, but other than that we’re keeping it hush hush. Honestly, in retrospect I wouldn’t have it any other way. There’s a kind of pressure that’s removed when you do it this way. And we’ve had more time to acclimate to being married. We’re just not “out” yet, and I can’t wait until we are!!!

Post # 12
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Yep!

We were married in a VERY small ceremony with just our immediate family at a restaurant in February because we wanted to start my FI’s Green Card Paperwork ASAP and had to get married to do it.

We are having a full ceremony and reception on September 25, once he has his Green Card. We’re positioning it as our “religious” ceremony because we didn’t do any of the traditions the first time around, but really we just want a chance to share our love and our commitment with everyone who is important in our lives.

Everyone coming to our wedding knows that we’re already “legally” married, but they’re still excited to celebrate with us!

To keep it simple, we just say that we got “married” in February but our “wedding” is in September. Everyone has been really great about it!

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