Post # 1
I emailed my Dad the date of the wedding and asked if he knew if he and Mom would be there. It’s really sad that I have to ask :/ Whats even worse is I don’t know the answer, my Mom has told me a couple times that she wants nothing to do with the wedding and she’s not going.
It sucks when you learn that your parents are human prone to error LOL.
Anyway, just needed to vent.
Post # 4
@Belle2Be: So sorry you are dealing with this. I would ask you why they (your mom or your dad) are unsure of going, but frankly, it’s none of my business.
I just hope your parents can realize that no matter what, they need to support you.
Praying it all works out.
Post # 5
Sorry to hear that you have to deal with this sort of situation. Just be happy that YOU know better than they do!
Post # 6
Why aren’t they coming? Or what is keeping them from knowing if they are going to make it?
Post # 7
My mom is going through some stuff, basically she’s mad at us for moving across the country (read: with her grandbabies she’s known since birth)and it’s giving her some serious Empty Nest Depression. But she blames it all on my FI, (and he’s an angel for either not holding it against her or pretending he doesn’t) and used to tell me all the time that he was wrong for me and what she saw between us wasn’t real love like her and my dad have. We’ve always had a super close relationship, she helped me through labor with my first daughter, and has always been a wonderful, amazing mom until the past couple years so I’m really hoping it will change 🙁 It just makes me sad 🙁
Post # 8
Sorry your going through it, I feel for you, my DH mother did the same thing. Though we didn’t think we even had to ask if she was coming, so when she sent back the RSVP NO, it was a shock, but also an eye opener for us and more so my DH. I don’t have any great advise, as it was hard, more so my DH, only thing I can say is move forward, and try not to let it bring you down. By the time our wedding rolled around, my DH had come to peace with it, in the end we had wished she stuck to it and really didn’t come, but all said and done, we are happy and much stronger as a couple because of it.
Try to just remember the great supportive people you have in your life, keep thinking of them, not the negative. Stay strong!
Post # 9
@ams12: Thanks 🙂 I am at terms, I’ll be sad if she doesn’t come around, but I know its something my mom is going to have to live with (not going to her daughters wedding), not me.
I’m kinda hopeful that she’ll come around, we saw each other during Thanksgiving and it was a little tense, we didn’t really talk because the last conversation we had she told me not to say I love her, because it’s an action and I clearly don’t mean it, which broke my heart 🙁 But since I’ve gotten home we’ve been talking again on the phone almost daily, and she sounds a lot more…lively? So I’m really hoping she’s either medicated (is that bad LOL) or starting to understand/whatever.
Post # 10
@Belle2Be: “last conversation we had she told me not to say I love her, because it’s an action and I clearly don’t mean it,”
Holy guilt trip Batman!
Sounds like your Mom is in a very sad place and honestly, while I’ve never been in your position, I know my Mom would have been none too pleased (to put it mildly) if I’d moved far away or if any of my siblings had taken her grandkids away. And she probably would have blamed their spouse too!
Maybe just keep talking to her and remind her that this is YOUR choice – your FI isn’t forcing you to make it and also reassure her that you will visit and call often and that they are welcome to visit you, too. But defend your FI. Unless your Mom has concrete reasons not to like him – you do have to let her know when/if she crosses the line. Lovingly of course.
Post # 11
Ah so sorry belle! 🙁 I hope she comes around, I would have been heartbroken if my mama wasn’t at my wedding. Crossing my fingers she IS medicated (totally kidding :D) or just moving forward!
Post # 12
@lisa105: Yeah, I do defend my FI to the death, LOL. I don’t blame her for how she feels, I know it’s killing her and my dad, but there is nothing I can do about it. We tried living in my hometown for almost 2 years, and there isn’t anything there. There are a few retail stores, and a prison. FI doesn’t want to work at the prison, and retail only goes so far and is not something that he wants to/ is trained to do. We tried. FI even literally broke his back (a slipped and then herniated disc!) working in a grocery store trying to bring in enough money to pay the bills, and was working nearly 65 hours a week and we still had no savings. Its in CA, where everyone knows the economy is beyond bad. 🙁 So we moved to NJ, near FI’s parent’s, to see if FI can get a job in the area he wanted, which didn’t happen because he ended up having to have back surgery and still isn’t fully recovered, although now he is finally working. LOL sorry for the life story, moral is, I completely understand why my mom feels this way, I just wish she could be more objective about it. Plus with my Dad retiring in a year, I don’t understand why they wouldn’t just move to where we settle. (That’s a selfish thought, I know.)
Post # 13
I’m so sorry! How frustrating! FI and I are moving across the country after we get married, and I know my mom is devastated too (although I can’t imagine her ever saying anything like that). I agree with lisa105 that you should just remind her that it’s your choice and that you have to make the decisions that are best for you and your DH.
Also, did your mom move far from her parents ever? Mine moved VERY far away from her family when she finished college, and I’m prepared to mention that if she ever guilt trips me too much. So you could think about if she ever did anything like that you could bring up.
Good luck with everything! Hopefully she comes to her senses and decides to be happy for you!
Post # 14
@MelanieAnne: Thanks 😀 Good luck with your move, it’s very taxing on a couple!
Post # 15
@Belle2Be: I’m so sorry. I couldn’t even imagine…
Post # 16
Im so sorry belle, just know we are all here for support. I hope she warms up to the idea of coming to the wedding. I think she would really regret it later if she chooses not to go. sounds like she is just having difficulty dealing with you guys leaving her…be patient, im sure she will come around. 🙂