(Closed) I knew this day was coming…

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
5481 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Can you talk to her about keeping YOUR wedding the way YOU want it, but allowing her to host an after-party or a get together on another day?

Post # 4
Member
2106 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Get on the same page with your FI. Then sit down with your FI and his mom and let him do all the talking. If a small wedding is what you and your fiancé want, get ittt. If she really wants you to meet her friends, throw her a bone and say that you’ll attend her next party once you’re back from honeymooning. 

Post # 5
Member
1019 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@DaneLady:  +1 I really like this idea, and I wish I had used it for MY fmil

Post # 7
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

You are having an outside wedding in January?? Where do you live? OAN: It’s YOUR wedding, put your foot down and tell your mother-in-law that you want to do what you want.

Post # 8
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Sugaree:  I am sorry :/ but the bright side, she is paying for the guests and the bigger venue. 

Weddings bring out the worst and the best of people. If her worst is to invite her friends and pay for a bigger venue, that is not bad. (in my book) 

Post # 10
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I like the idea of letting her host a party shortly after the wedding for her friends.

I don’t envy your situation. 🙁

Post # 11
Member
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Your fiance shouldn’t have made that offer without talking to you- it’s better than him just saying Ok Mom no problem, but still not appropriate. He should have to go back and say that it’s no longer okay, but that she’s welcome to host another reception for her friends at a later date. Your wedding is your wedding, and you should celebrate with those you KNOW and love. Not those you hope to someday get to know.

Post # 12
Member
4242 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If you can’t find a way out of this, I would also insist that she pay for any non-refundable costs for the invites and venue already booked.

However, I would talk to FI and use Dane Lady’s idea. If you don’t want to invite her extra people, make sure to not let her set up “meetings” that leave you feeling obligated.

Post # 14
Member
3295 posts
Sugar bee

Your fiance shouldn’t have told her that iif it weren’t the case. If I were you, I wouldn’t rescind on the compromise because you will start more drama.

Post # 15
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Sugaree:  you know, that is a good idea. I would tell her the invitations have been printed etc. Then show her the options of accomodating more people in the venue you chose. This way she either stomachs the cost or pays for it but either way you have the venue ;p 

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