- 4 years ago
It has been a little while since I last posted. I joined the site, honestly, because I was hurt and confused and needed advice. I was clinging to a relationship that was abusive and bringing me down. Four months after I finally moved out, I am now happily dating a great man.
My ex very rarely has contacted me over the course of 4 months. He sent me a flower arrangement to say “I’m sorry” soon after I left, but never actively pursued me or tried to get me back. It hurt, but I was actually glad he ignored me, I have healed and I am enjoying my time with the new guy.
Anyway, the ex heard (from some loud mouthed girl from the Town I grew up in, who I am not friends with on any form of social media by the way) that I am seeing someone new and there are pictures of us on facebook. I am not even really sure how she knows, but whatever. Well low and behold… he has been contacting me now. He wants to know who the guy is and how we met. He is writing long apology texts and saying he wished I had waited for him to “get his life together.” He is saying that he can’t believe how fast I moved on, he wants to stay friends, etc, etc, etc. I responded that I forgive him, that he did mean things but I don’t think he is an awful person and then I do not think we can be friends at this time. I reminded him that he had ample opportunity to realize these things while we were together. I ended the conversation and do not want to talk to him anymore. I am finally happy and I do not intend to look back. He made me so depressed… he was abusive. Truly. I don’t know how I tolerated it, it is truly mind boggling to even think I put up with it.
I could use a little bit of advice though bees.
Should I tell the new guy? (We are pretty serious. Met eachothers family, see eachother regularly, I have a key to his place, etc.) I did not mention it because I don’t want to bring my messy past into this great new relationship.
Also, kind of unrelated, but I find myself strugging with major insecurity now that I am dating a “nice guy.” I have truly only had abusive relationships, it is embarassing to admit but it is completely true. Three abusive relationships, back to back. I almost do not know how to trust the words of this new guy because I am constantly waiting for something terrible to happen. I try to be more positive but it is almost a subconscious reaction. I am afraid to sabotage this out of fear. It is really bothering me.
I know this post is kind of all over the place. I really enjoy your feedback. Thanks.