Post # 1
I’m new to posting but have been looking on these boards for a while now. I’m really just needing people to vent to who won’t treat me like I’m crazy or ungrateful!
My boyfriend and I have been together for over 4 years and decided after 1 year that we would like to spend the rest of our lives together. However, we both were (and still are) living with our parents -we are currently saving for a deposit for a house though.
We have spent a lot of time shopping for engagement rings over the last two years and I finally found the one. He decided to buy it right there and then (we decided there is no point hiding it-we both know its going to happen and he wanted to make sure I got my dream ring).
That was 5 months ago and I am still waiting for him to propose. Any meal we go for or nice evening we spend together, I am waiting and hoping he’s going to do it. It’s driving me insane! I just think why won’t he just do it!!! I know he has the ring! Argh!
Post # 3
Maybe he has some big, grand plan he has been working to surprise you with when he executes the proposal, since you already know about the ring. My sister and her fiance ring shopped for a year before he popped the question! Best of luck that he doesn’t wait much longer, the wait is maddening, but will be worth it!
Post # 4
argh! how frustrating! have you spoken to him about it? he might have a perfectly acceptable genuine reason as to why he hasn’t proposed yet. maybe he is waiting on a significant date, a holiday or might even want to live with you for a few months first. unfortunately you won’t know until you ask.. sit down and talk to him or else you’ll drive yourself crazy. good luck sweetie and let me know of any progress! 🙂
Post # 5
@Redapple89: I know your frustration. My SO has had my ring since February, and has promised to propose by February, but I had to drag that out of him as he didnt want me to know that. I am emotionally a wreck about it even though logically I get why he’s waiting. Still, its frustrating.
Post # 6
Have you talked to him about it? I mean talking directly as jokes or off-handed comments usually don’t work. What does his timeline look like?
Post # 7
Ask him! He’s bought the ring, there’s no secret. At the end of 2011, my FI said, “this is the year, 2012, that you and I will get engaged.” I thought he was just spewing up ideas, I didn’t think he was serious (didn’t know he had the money saved for a ring) and then in Nov of 2012, he proposed! He said he had a ring he COULD have proposed with in Oct of 2011, but decided that wasn’t the right timing.
Just relax, you know he has a ring, you know you two are getting married, you know you two are buying a house – just enjoy this moment and don’t get so caught up on WHEN he’s going to do it, because it’s pretty clear he’s DEFINITELY doing it!
If you want to start planning a wedding, I bet he wouldn’t say no even though you don’t have a ring yet.
Post # 8
- Wedding: October 2013 - Vine Street Church
My fiance had my ring for a year and a half before proposing. I think he just wasn’t completely ready because he’s younger than me. I knew we were going to get married, so it didn’t matter, but waiting was still kinda shitty.
Post # 9
He is probably waiting for a specific date. If the wait is killing you, ask him.
Post # 10
Thanks for the support everyone, I really appreciate your empathy!! I took your advice and spoke to him about it last night (we had a little fall out over me asking) and he said that he has a plan, just as some of you have said. He says he knows when and where he wants to do it and he is waiting until then. But I took it too far and said ‘I don’t care when you do it, just do it! Why can’t you bring the plan forward?!’ not a good move, and I ended up crying my eyes out because he said he might as well just tell me about the plan now.
We’ve made up and I apologised for being crazy. I just feel like I’m going mental. And the more people ask me ‘so when is he going to propose’ (even though no one else knows he has the ring ) the more I start to question it myself and the cycle continues!
Futuremrsk-i think that’s a good idea, I maybe will start looking at wedding magazines-almost as a hobby to take my mind off the engagement!
Thank you everyone. I’ve been scared to speak to anyone else about this for fear of being judged!!