Post # 1
In the midst of me planning my wedding (which is about a little over a year away) I’ve come to learn a lot about myself, some good things, some not so good things. Throughout this planning process, I’ve prided myself on being a “laid back bride” (aka a non-“Bridezilla”…a term that I hate for many reasons). However, I have come to realize that in my quest to be “laid back,” at my core I’m simply and undeniably crazy.
Currently, I’ve developed a very specific, irrational fear. Bees, I know what I’m about to say is silly and petty and ridiculous and CRAZY (!) but PLEASE tell me that I can’t be the only bride who has felt this way!! My (extremely specific and irrational) fear is that one of my girlfriends will get engaged soon, plan their wedding to be one month before mine (June 2013), use the same venue that I’m using and pick all of the same things that I’ve picked out so that when my wedding rolls around, I’ll appear as though I’ve copied her, when in fact, I’ve had pretty much everything picked out for months now!
FYI: I have 3 girlfriends who are in long-term relationships that will most likely end in marriage, but none of them are engaged (yet) and I don’t share any of my details with them in an effort to keep the wedding a fun surprise.
I guess I feel so strongly about this because in our area, there are a lot of wedding venues that pretty much do everything for you, so once you pick the venue, all that’s left are details. Our venue in particular offers two types of wedding packages: a traditional dinner and dancing type of wedding, and a “south beach” style wedding which is kind of like a cool cocktail party that’s really swanky and fun. In an effort to be a little “untraditional” (not that there’s anything wrong with a traditional wedding-I love all weddings) we’ve chosen to do a south beach style wedding. So I know my fear stems from the fact that I want to be all cool and original and if one of my friends did a south beach style wedding at our venue before us, my insecure and jealous evil bride twin would come out and I’d feel sad 🙁 …like I’m the copycat.
I know this is so silly… and my apologies for writing so much (thank you to whoever just read all of the above!!) But please, has anyone else ever felt this way or similarly?? I know I can be crazy, but I can’t be THAT crazy!
Post # 4
I think this is a very common occurance! Women feel like they get over shadowed or possibly upshowed or even copied when friends/family choose dates very close! You are normal!
Just remember nothing can compare to your day 🙂
Post # 5
No matter what, your day is your day and it will be special and unique. But, do you really think one of your girlfriends would book the same venue as you in that close of a time span? I can’t imagine that happening…but maybe that’s just me.
Post # 6
Let’s suppose the worst, and someone happens to pick the same style and venue as you. Just think of it as an opportunity to learn from their mistakes, a trial run for your wedding!
You are not crazy, I think alot of people would feel the same way.
Post # 7
I say if it happens just kick a bitch. No but seriously, I highly doubt that will happen. Most people don’t WANT to copy someone else. I’m close enough to mine now that no one is going to plan my wedding before me, but I secretly am hoping that no one else gets engaged before I get married.
Post # 8
Hmm. Sort of! A friend of mine got married last October and she did a similar theme as mine (I had been engaged for 1.5 years at that point and we talked about it), so I do feel a little pressure to change my ideas as a result.
Luckily, not the same colors, dress, area or other large components, but I understand where you’re coming from.
Post # 9
PHEW ohmygosh I feel so much better!! Thank you all for your kind words, I’m hoping this anxiety/fear goes away though, because I find myself thinking about it way too much and it’s starting to really bother me. Everyone in my family has written me off when I told them about it, saying I was being silly and petty (which, arguably, is true). But that’s why I had to post here, because only other brides could understand 🙂
Post # 10
Me! A good friend of mine who had been engaged and un-engaged a few times this past year with the same guy, became re-engaged a few months after me and is planning her wedding 2 weeks before mine. She liked my ideas on pinterest and asked if I wasn’t using anything so she could… Um. Sorry, I’m using ALL my ideas! (I said this politely)
While our wedding ceremonies are both outside in very picturesque places (mine is at a winery, hers a state park) I know our receptions will be different as mine is vintage garden with pinks, champagnes, and ivorys; and hers is black and gold (for the Iowa Hawkeyes I believe?) So I don’t think I have too much to worry about.
But the teeny bridezilla in me I need to squash is wanting to make SURE that my wedding is better even though I wish all the best for her!
Same goes for a girl I know only through work people who chose the same day as me, so unfortunely my boss and his wife, and another girl from work are going to be attending her wedding instead of mine. 🙁 It happens, the wedding will go on, and I’m still going to try and make mine the best. 🙂
Post # 11
@Josina: your wedding sounds fabulous and very classy 🙂 funnily enough, I think pinterest is the reason behind my freakout-I don’t have a page, but all of my friends do and I have looked at them. Even though they claim they are no where near being ready to get married, they all have “wedding” boards on pinterest-one of my friends has two pictures of rings on her “wedding board” that looks exactly like mine! I honestly wouldn’t care if she chose to get a similar ring as me, but I think it triggered this fear that suddenly everything else would be the same, and that it would happen right before me so that all of my “cool” ideas are “so yesterday” lol
@Eva Peron: I’m trying to tell myself that!
Post # 12
The only friend I have that is in a serious relationship is having a VERY different wedding than I am.
I do have anxiety about copying my sister. I am shying away from a lot of ideas because she had them.
I also have anxiety at every wedding that we go to that they’ll have our first dance song. I have had it picked out for a LONG time now and I wouldn’t want people to think we copied anyone if they happened to have the same song. Thankfully none of the weddings we went to had it, although they all had songs in the same genre. And we don’t have any weddings to go to this year.
Post # 13
@kswiftbride: I can completely relate-I went to a friend’s wedding last April before I was engaged (though FI and I had been dating for 5+ years at that point) and they chose the first dance song that I had always envisioned us to have!! (“Your Song” by Elton John) While I know it’s a popular song and I’m sure many couples have used it, needless to say I was disappointed! Obviously I’m no longer using that song because she chose it first! (Though I still really like it and wish I didn’t care so much!)
Post # 14
The only advice I can give is to not share details with anyone and let it be a surprise at your wedding. If nobody knows your ideas, they can’t steal them.