Post # 1
I am not writing this to sound selfish at all, I just want to know if other bees had a similar experience. We had a fairly casual wedding last weekend, some family traveled to get here but it was mainly friends who lived in town. It was a lovely afternoon and went well in to the evening. At the end of the night my step-mother was supposed to take all the cards from the box and bring them home for us to open the next day. There were 39 guests that showed up, there were 2 gifts and 5 cards.
I ordered 40 thank you cards thinking that couples would together give one and I would have a few extra, but now it looks like I am going to have more than 30 extra?!
Should I be expecting anything more? Do people really do that ‘send a gift after a year’ thing?
Post # 3
sounds like thats all ur gonna get.. i highly doubt people are gonna remember or bother to do anything a year after i guess u just gotta not assume that people are gonna be as generous as what you give them credit for.. thats pretty slack they didnt even give you a card at least!
Post # 4
Yes, we did. It wasn’t quite that bad, but of the 80-some guests that showed we had maybe 5 gifts at the wedding and 5 or so cards? Granted, a lot of people had gotten us shower gifts, and most of the gifts were from couples, but a lot of people never got us anything. I won’t pretend like I didn’t notice. I’m not bitter or angry by any means, but it IS something you notice when you sit down to write thank-yous!
Post # 5
Oh, and I only got one thing in the mail post-wedding (a gift-card from an uncle who couldn’t make the flight). So no, none of the actual guests that came sent anything after. One did send it via mail prior to the wedding that came.
Post # 6
I think a lot of people mail gifts, rather than bring them to the wedding. I think etiquette says they should be sent to the bride’s home. But it’s very possible that it might that is all you’re going to get, which is really too bad. Yes, it’s “rude” to “expect” gifts, but it’s equally rude to attend a wedding and not even get the couple a card.
Post # 7
We had a 80 person wedding, and all but two people were accounted for with their name associated to a gift, and one of those two did send something later, and lots of people that were invited to the wedding and couldn’t make it (we invited 146, but most of our family lives across the country) sent something.
Did you have a shower and get a lot of gifts there? Or maybe lots of people “went in” on the gifts you did get?
Post # 8
That’s kind of a load. I’m sorry. As a guest, I always try to cover my plate, unless I’m at the ceremony to perform a service (usually officiating but sometimes taking pictures.) I’d rather just perform the services as the gift, than for them to pay me money and me gift them something.
Post # 9
I know how you feel. While we did get quite a few gifts I was hurt by the guests that didn’t give a card at least…. hand written post it even? To me it’s like “Thank you for inviting me, had a great time but I don’t want to congratulate you and wish you well.
I would never go to a wedding without a gift or card with $$. You learn a lot about people when you invite them to a wedding. Interesting.
Post # 10
it is disheartening, but i would still send out all the thank you cards to guests that attended, to thank them for being part of your day 🙂
Post # 11
We had four people who didn’t bring a card or gift. I get not being able to afford a gift, although not bringing a card (even a hand-made one!) is something I find odd. We had two of the four people mention to us that they would be sending us something after the wedding but it’s three months later and we never received anything. I sent them all thank you cards any way, to say thanks for attending.
Post # 12
That’s weird. Did a lot of people give shower gifts? It seems strange that so few people would give cards…
Post # 13
We had 100 people at the wedding and 10 people didn’t give gifts. What was weird to me is that they were all people I’m really close with (aunt, uncle, two cousins, and some coworkers I see everyday). I did send thank yous to everyone that came though. And no, we didn’t get anything after the wedding, a few people had sent gifts to our house before the wedding.
Post # 14
@AlwaysSunny: It does seem strange, I admit that I have gone to weddings and not brough gifts before, but as PPs said I will ALWAYS bring a card and try to cover my plate.
I didn’t have a shower becuase all of my family was out of town and I didn’t have any bridesmaids so I just (eroniously) assumed that people would pitch together and purchase gifts for the wedding. It is still possible I guess, and it isn’t really about the gifts, but our of a 40 piece registry (with a fair share of small things like pot holders and kitchen utensils) We so far have gotten 3 fiesta place settings (all from the same person) and one fry pan.. We will probably just save up and buy the things our self becuase we still do desperately need new kitchen towels and pans, but its just odd i guess.
Post # 15
Uhmmm I think that’s kind of crazy!!! Really 5 out of 40. I don’t expect expensive gifts or any gift if someone can’t afford it but I definitely agree that a card of congrats is in order for sure, even if it’s a hand written note wishing you many years of happiness. If they bought you gifts at the shower maybe that is all they felt they needed to give. And for me that would be fine, one wedding one gift or card 🙂 Geez I hope some cards turn up in the mail for you or something
Post # 16
That does suck. But I agree that you should send thank you cards to everyone for attending, not just those who gave gifts.