(Closed) I know its silly but I need your help!!

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: was it ok for hubby to suggest I stay at my parents after the wedding so he could host his family??
    Yes! : (18 votes)
    33 %
    No! : (32 votes)
    58 %
    Depends - why? : (5 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1732 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Honestly?  It’s over and you need to move on!  What good does it do to rehash it and try to establish a “winner?”

    Post # 5
    Member
    7431 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    @Mermaid1082: Agree with this, but I do have to say, if my new husband suggested this, I would have been livid!!

    OP, maybe it is the norm in his culture to do something like that?

    Post # 7
    Member
    1732 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Can I ask where he is from?

    Post # 8
    Member
    620 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    Well I’m not really sure what culture(s) you and your hubby come from but I think it was rude for him to suggest that you would go back to your parent’s house on your wedding night. On the other hand its understandable that he wanted to stay with his family since he doesn’t get to see them often but still he shouldn’t have suggested that you stay somewhere not with him after the wedding. It seems to me like things just got blown a little out of proportion and that you need to try to let it go an move on with your married life. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    1732 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I might have missed it, but it wasn’t for the wedding night, but for the time right after the wedding, right?

    Post # 10
    Member
    111 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Honestly all my family lives out of state and i would love to spend time with them if they came in to town because i see them once a year usually. I would of let them stay at your husbands place and got a hotel for you and him to stay in your first night and gone back there and opened presents the next morning or something. really i hope writing your feeling out and you reading it helps you forget it because whats done is done and if he still doesnt see the problem with it before the wedding, then, or now…he probably wont.lol some guys just arent as sentimental as girls and we all cherish different things. respect the fact hes a family man, it will be nice when you have kids some day.

    Post # 11
    Member
    3220 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I think you were being too harsh in not just living with his family after the wedding. while your FI may have overreacted by saying you should stay at your parents house instead of with him, I’d be frustrated if my SO wouldn’t take a perfectly good chance to solve a lot of problems and also live with my family and get to know them right while starting our marriage.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2442 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I voted before I read the OP.  I voted no because the question in the post doesn’t state/imply that he wanted and expected you to host his family there with him.  Now that I have read the OP, he was absolutely reasonable.  You not knowing where a spatula is kept is not a valid reason to incur additional expenese or spread out the family.  The two of you were newlyweds.  Of course you wouldn’t know.  So what?  It’s over now.  Let it go.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1137 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I voted that you were overreacting. It seems like a minor inconvenience to let his family stay with him (and you) for a short time after the wedding, and it would have solved so many problems for him and his family to just go along with it and paste on a smile until they go back home and you can have the place to yourself. In the span of a lifetime, 3-4 weeks is nothing compared to the lifetime you will get to spend living together just the two of you. If not for your hard feelings, you would probably look back on that time with fond memories of bonding with your in-laws.

    DH and I had a civil ceremony to start his Immigration Process and right after, he had to move back to Canada and live with his parents for 10 months until his Green Card came! I would drive down and visit him on the weekend and stay at his parents house (who had no cable, btw). So maybe my opinion is skewed because I would have loved if our only obstacle was having family visiting for a few weeks.

    Post # 14
    Member
    9029 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    if you’ve been married since september then this really shouldnt be an issue anymore

    Post # 14
    Member
    9029 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    if you’ve been married since september then this really shouldnt be an issue anymore

    Post # 15
    Member
    1269 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I understand where he was coming from actually.  Understandably he wanted them all to stay together and he thought his place would be the least inconvenience to the most people.  i.e. only you would be the one put out rather than all of them and/or family hosts.  But you argued and other avenues were explored which I don’t blame you but why didn’t you give in when you realized nothing else would work?  Where I think you went wrong was still arguing.  At that point I think he was tired of “discussing” it since you were being unreasonable and so he just said you should stay with your parents. 

    The topic ‘I know its silly but I need your help!!’ is closed to new replies.

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