Post # 1
but i can’t help it.
My younger (by 2 years) sister got engaged Valentines day 2012. She said they had no plans on getting married until 2015.
Well, today she sent me a text, apparently they’re going to elope to vegas after she’s done school – sometime this spring – and then have a party at home this summer.
I realize that chances are this will have no impact on my wedding, and that I don’t get a year and blah blah blah, but I’m still a little bit annoyed that she may run off and get married 2 weeks before our wedding – while she’s CONSTANTLY compaining to me that they have no money, my mother is paying for their flights and accomodations to get here, I’ve been covering all her BM costs…yet they’re going to go to vegas for vacation and get married…how do you have money for that?
Post # 3
- Wedding: May 2014 - Royalton White Sands
Yeah, it’s probably selfish, but I’d be feeling frustrated too if I was in your shoes.
Post # 4
Although you’re right that you don’t have a year, that does sound obnoxious and inconsiderate. That would upset me too, but at least you’ll have a gorgeous wedding day you’ve been preparing for and a fantastic SO.
Post # 5
@MsGinkgo: she prob just cant afford a real wedding but wants to be married. I totally hear you about it being a pain to be financially helping her with your wedding and that her timing is soo close to your wedding. It is silly that should couldnt at least pick another season or just wait 1 month after your wedding, but who knows.. she may have her own reasons for picking the season/timing.
Post # 6
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
I’d be glad to let her elope. Easy peasy.
Post # 7
@SparkleBee11: @prahajess: it was always their plan to elope. I have no problem with her doing that. It’s more the timing and the fact that they’ll spend probably $5000 on a trip to vegas to elope while she’s saying she has no money for anything and other people are footing the bill for her to come to my wedding (where she’s the MOH). I have no problem helping her pay for things, but when you say you have no money and are asking people to cover costs, taking a vacation to vegas (even if it is to get married) kind of rubs me the wrong way.
Post # 8
@MsGinkgo: yeah that would totally bother me too! Sorry you have to deal with that… family can be such a bummer sometime.
Post # 9
Meh, my younger sister was married 3 times and had 3 kids before I was married once. Now she’s divorced 3 times. Different people follow different paths.
Post # 10
@MsGinkgo: They likely don’t have money- which is which is why they want to run away to get married. People who don’t have money are entitled to be married, too.
I do understand your frustration.
BUT- everyone has the right to prioritize what’s important to them in terms of money. Naturally, YOUR wedding is important to YOU. And while I am sure your sister thinks your wedding is important to her, too– try to put things into persepctive.
I know this might sound selfish, but if I wanted to get married- and I had enough money for a flight to Vegas to get married (which, BTW, airfare to Vegas is generally really inexpensive)– I’d likely make the costs associated with MY wedding a priority over my sister- if I could only chose one. I know that your wedding may have been put on the schedule first. But either way, that doesn’t mean your sister is required to spend her money to attend your wedding. If I could only have money for A or B, the smple fact that my sister is getting married does not mean I have money to spend on it. My sister got married out of town- and while it was close enough to drive, it still required a 2 night hotel stay. My mom paid for it. At the time, it’s not like I was straight broke, but I didn’t have the extra money to spend on a hotel room- so my mom pitched in and paid for me, her choice.
It doesn’t mean I literally was broke- it just meant that I didn’t have THAT much expendable income to stay in a hotel room because she chose to get married at a non-local venue.
So while I completely understand that in your view, it seems like she is being inconsiderate, we always have to remembe that OUR wedding isn’t the most important thing to EVERYONE ELSE.
Post # 11
@MsGinkgo: also, do you REALLY think they will spend $5000? and if they do, how do you know that her FI’s parents aren’t paying for it, or that your parents aren’t paying for it as a wedding gift?
Post # 12
How did it come that you are paying her expenses for your wedding?
Post # 13
@MsGinkgo: Honestly? I would spend money getting eloped above spending money flying to sibling’s wedding. My wedding is more important.
Post # 14
I think most of the people are missing out on what you’re frustrated about. I agree, it’s frustrating that she is going to spend money on a vacation to elope when you’re covering the costs for her to be in her wedding – where is the money for this vegas vacation coming from now? It’s one thing if she said she was going to go to city hall and get married bc she just couldn’t wait and she couldn’t afford a huge wedding, but that’s not what she’s doing – she’s planning a vacation just before your wedding when she says she can’t afford the costs of being in your wedding. I totally get that and I would be all like wtf, too. AND, seriously, she can’t wait until after your wedding? I know we don’t get a whole year to ourselves or whatever, but your own sister can’t wait just a few weeks or something? I mean, cmon!
Well, there’s really nothing you can do and the “right” thing to do is to just be supportive and happy for her. If this is what she wants and makes her happy then good for her. At least it’s not going to effect your wedding in any way.
Post # 15
I’d be pissed too! My cousin was thinking of getting married before me (2 months) & I was pissed. She ended up getting married in November.
Post # 16
For those bridesmaid costs you are covering for her, remember that those costs are actually for your wedding.