(Closed) I know this is wrong…

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3521 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

If you know this is wrong, spend today feeling this way and tomorrow, YOU make yourself back into the happy waiting bee you were yesterday.  It’s okay to feel this way… just don’t wallow in it for too long. (((hug)))

Post # 4
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I really dont understand what you mean by saying 

My boyfriend promised we would be engaged this summer, and I was feeling like it was so close, but now I feel like… I don’t know, it just feels like sh*t.  I feel like if we DO get engaged it won’t mean anything because it just looks like we’re doing it because it’s “the cool thing to do,” even if that’s not even close to being true.”

 

 

Post # 6
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@MissBoPeep: I hate to be a downer, but this is a really crappy selfish post. And as far as you thinking your bf is being considerate of your cousins spotlight, I just think it’s a copout personally. If he uses this as an excuse to wait even longer, he’s doing just that; using it an as excuse

And on a totally unrelated note to my feelings about this post. Welcome to being adult. Everyone gets married when you hit a certain age.  I have attended over 50 weddings in the last 4 years. This is what happens. It’s not the cool thing to do, it’s the next step in life.

Post # 7
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

@MissBoPeep: I undeerstand what you are saying. I have days like this too and it sucks. Give yourself the day to have a pity party, but tomorrow…move on! Your bf said it would happen this summer, so trust him. Nobody is going to think you are getting engaged because its “cool”.  You have been toegther for a few years so I am sure family and friends expect it will happen any time now.

Post # 9
Member
450 posts
Helper bee

@MissBoPeep: I am in your exact position.  My brother got engaged and I just wanted to cry! Even though my SO told me we would get engaged this summer, I still felt really bad looking at how everyone’s lives were moving forward but mine.  I’m still struggling with these feelings and some days are better than others.  All I can tell you is that these feelings will NOT last and all of this will come to pass.

Think about it this way…a few years from now will it really matter that someone got engaged before you?  And will you be dwelling on the bad feelings you have today?  Chances are you’ll be happily married and not worried about any of these things that seem to be the focus of your world right now. 

Trust me, I know EXACTLY what you’re experiencing.  But there is hope, and things will get better 🙂

Post # 10
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Part of me wants to tell you it’s fine to feel this way but there is something that bothers me about your bf’s response to being engaged. He doesn’t want the “steal the spotlight”. I have heard this from others and my FI has too. He believes if a guy wants to marry a girl he will propose as soon as he can get his stuff together (finances for the ring, maybe ask the parents, inform his family etc) not something that is basically dependent on another person’s (outside the relationship) life. The “waiting for something” excuse as my FI calls it. 

I honestly can’t see how your engagement can interfere with your cousin’s wedding.

Post # 11
Member
3297 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat

When everyone gets to the same age group, that’s what happens. They start getting married. I think you’re looking at this the wrong way. It’s about more than getting engaged, it’s about building a marriage that works. Doesn’t sound like your step-brother and his fiance have a great start anyway. How’s your relationship? Great? I thought so!

Post # 13
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@MissBoPeep: I still dont understand why you care about that. Why put a downer on your engagement before it even happens because you’re worried people may think your just getting married because its the “cool thing to do.” 

Post # 14
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@mwitter80: glad someone else pointed that out besides me!

Post # 15
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

@mwitter80: I know what you are saying but the OP did say in her post that she was venting and she knew what she was saying was wrong.

Post # 16
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@MissBoPeep: please don’t be snarky. I was just trying to point out something that bothered me. I hadn’t realized that your need to vent included people sympathizing for you. Which I do.

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