Post # 1
We’re paying for the whole thing ourselves, so I don’t feel like anyone has the right to be rude or tell me what we should or shouldn’t be doing. I figured since our wedding is 100% out of our pockets, shouldn’t everything be the way we want?
How can I tell my mother that we have exactly what we want in mind, and to just “butt out”? We’re not some young kids whose parents are footing the bill, otherwise I would absolutely take her(or whoever was paying) opinion(s) into account.
Also, as the title suggests, this is crass and juvenile, but how can I tell people to keep their negative opinions to themselves about our wedding? I’m encountering family members suggesting our weddong is “a stupid idea” – since we’re already married, why bother? I can reach mostly everyone on Facebook and the teen in me wants to simply say “If you’re gonna act like an ass youre not invited”. How did you handle any negativity you encountered? I apologize if I sound like I’m being whiny, but it is OUR day, and I really just want it to be nice and free of drama (at least with family).
Post # 3
@kittykatcole: Like everything else in life, you can’t control what other people do or say. You can only control your response. Stop letting other people push your buttons.
” Thanks for your suggestion. We’ll take it under consideration.”
“Thanks for the idea, but we’ve already got that covered.”
Post # 4
Sorry you’re dealing with this. My only advice is to ignore, ignore, ignore. We’ve stopped talking about the wedding to most people because everyone seems to think they have a say in planning our wedding. I’ve been repeatedly insulted by FI’s family, spent a lot of time crying, and now I just don’t give a shit lol! Hey, it’s not my fault people suck, and we’re doing the best we can.
Post # 5
@julies1949: Thank you! Those are much needed suggestions!
Post # 6
@boogiewoogies: this is also a great idea. I wanted to keep everyone in the loop but that seems to have back fired. I suppose me and the Mr can just keep quiet about the planning. Thank you for your input!
Post # 7
@kittykatcole: Don’t post a narky message on Facebook. Keep it classy…unlike the guests who are making the inappropriate and unwelcome comments.
Post # 8
Yeah. It can be super frustrating. But I think you just have to ignore and redirect. If you don’t want drama I certainly wouldn’t post “If you’re gonna act like an ass youre not invited” on FaceBooke. That would be a textbook way to start drama.
So when aunt Lucy gets talking about how you simply must have a fully matching, even sided bridal party and you know full well you’re having mismatched girls and guys on both sides, instead of correcting her you simply say “You know, speaking of bridesmaids, my bridesmaid Emily just told me the funniest story about…”
Post # 9
Is there any way to get someone close to your mother to have that discussion with her? My FFIL handled that conversation with my FMIL without FI or I even mentioning it to her (even though I’m trying to include her somewhat as they’re contributing to the wedding), and it has helped her contain her enthusiasm somewhat. It can be so much nicer to have someone else handle the situation, because they might do it more delicately than you (less personal frustration is involved on their part).