Post # 1
I have quite a large amount of mental illnesses, and I’ve spent a lot of time in hospital. SO of 4.5 years has always been so supporitve. Last time I was in hospital, he told me he would be prepared to get engaged if I can prove to him that I can get better, and show that I will try.
Well, it’s been 3.5 months since my last hospital visit, 3 months since I last self-harmed, and I’ve been trying really hard.
There’s one other thing I struggle with, which is my weight. I have binge-eating disorder, and that’s one more disorder that I need to beat. I told SO that when I get home, I plan on getting a gym membership and going 4 days a week.
He told me that if I can stick to that plan, he will know 100% that I am on the right way to recovery. And in his own words “If you can keep up those good habits and stick to these new plans, I will be able to put a ring on your finger”.
So that’s definintely motivation. If I stick to going to the gym for 2-3 months, he will propose!
Sorry for the long post, I am just excited to have a time-line!
Post # 3
@Exie: I think it’s great your committed to getting and staying healthy. But you need to want to do it for you, not just for a proposal. Best of luck, you can do it!!
Post # 4
@MrsWBS: +1! Good luck with your great changes!
Post # 5
@MrsWBS: Oh, it is what I want! I’ve been struggling with my weight on and off – because of PCOS and Binge Eating Disorder, I put on 30kg in 6 months a few years back. I lost 20kg of it, then put all of it and more back on. When I was losing weight, I did love the gym. I just lost motivation to go.
So losing this weight is definitely something I want to do. My SO doesn’t care if I don’t lose weight at all, or if I even gain, he loves my body and who I am. But he wants to see me doing things that make me happy to prove that I can help myself to recover.
@lina010: Thank you!
Post # 6
@Exie: oh good ! Start small and take it one day at a time! 🙂
Post # 7
@Exie: I am excited for you and do not mean this in a snarky way, but from a therapist I am hoping you are getting some therapy and/or other help with your mental illness in addition to a healthy lifestyle. Weight and food issues aren’t about a lack of motivation or gym membership- it’s a lot deeper of an issue.
Wish you well and congrats on your pre-engagement!
Post # 8
- Wedding: October 2014 - Church
@Exie: I wish you all the best on your journey. I do echo what others say when they say to make sure you do it for yourself, and not the proposal (I am thinking of relapses andwhatnot). I will tell you it won’t be easy and some days are more difficult than others (Which I know that you know already) but you can do it. I hope that you are seeing a counsellor to continue to get the support you need :).
Post # 9
@Exie: It’s good that you are motivated internally. I wouldn’t put a set number of times per week into the equation, though. Things could happen that get in the way of you going so often. Four times a week would be a lot for me (then again, I don’t really enjoy the gym).
Post # 11
@Exie: And remember, if you find that you can’t get to the gym on a certain day, you can always work out at home too.
Post # 13
@MrsWBS: Thank you.
@aliciapdx: I see a case manager, psychologist and private psychiatrist and am on a few different types of medications, so I’ve definitely got assistnace in getting better. Thank you for your concern; you’re right, it’d be much too hard to just try to push myself into recovery by myself.
@laceydoilies: Thank you. I am definitely doing this for me. I was planning on doing this anyway – it wasn’t until I told him I was planning on going to the gym that he made the remark.
@spiffanee: 4 days a week is just because I’ll be at TAFE on those days, and the gym is on the way home, which is more motivating to me 🙂 It won’t be 4 days every single week, it’ll depend on how TAFE goes each week.
@nycsa: I do quite enjoy just walking too 🙂
Post # 15
@Exie: do you have a mentor, or someone to check in with you daily to help keep you on progress? You can do this! You have this in the bag, sweet lady! I am your personal cheerleader 🙂 Yay for a timeline!!!!!!!
Post # 16
Fellow binge eater/cyster, HEYO!
Ahem. I’m glad you want to do this for you, it’s the only way you’ll ever be able to stick with doing it. Just be sure, be very sure, that he will stick by you no matter what. I’m a little uncomfortable with this idea that only if you do these certain things to be well will you be worthy of marrying. It’s such a balance thing – he loves you and wants to be with you, so of course he wants you to be mentally healthy and feel good about yourself. But that stuff has to come from within… so if you never got better, and if you slowly fall out of the gym habit in 6 months or something, he’d still want to be engaged to you, right? That’s what I think you should be sure of. If you’ve been together 4.5 years though, he certainly sounds like long haul guy, so I don’t know, maybe I’m being ridiculous. In any case I wish you the heartiest of good luck and all the high fives. You can do it, so go do it and congrats on your pending engagement!!