Post # 1
So, I had become the shallow bride to be unhappy with her ring. I have a beautiful little .12 carat solitaire that is honestly gorgeous and sparkly and looks beautiful on my hand. I am in a long distance relationship with my fiance who lives in Australia. I live in the U.S.. We picked this ring out together when he was here and I loved it, especially since we picked it out together. But, recently I started having ring envy for another ring that I really liked. One that wasn’t too expensive, and it was a really good deal. But, my fiance doesn’t really get why people spend so much on a ring when it’s their love that counts. I see now his point of view. I had become a selfish, demanding fiancee who was trying to get the ring by guilt tripping and manipulating. I was so wrong. So so wrong. What woke me up is the night before last his dad randomly decided to kick him out of his home. He had been studying full time so his parents have let him stay at home. His dad is a very mean man, stubborn and harsh. This honestly was out of nowhere. My fiance is the best man I know, he would do nothing to provoke this. His father is now not speaking to my fiance or me, and he refuses to go back on his word and let my fiance stay. His father has been harassing him about any little thing, including leaving water on the sink or anything, when it most likely isn’t even my fiance who did it since three other people live in their household. So, my fiance, having studied and not had a good job is totally unprepared and now needs to move into an apartment that he can’t afford. I will be taking on a full time job now just to help support him. But, the point is, we both suffer terrible and medically diagnosed and cared for anxiety and depression and this had made him terribly suicidal. To the point I felt completely helpless and I really genuinely thought twice he was going to kill himself. I don’t think he actually would go through with it, but it’s a terrifying thing. I felt if a car was coming straight at me at full speed I would have been less scared. I had been bugging about the ring I wanted right before this all happened. I now feel so guilty and this really was a huge wakeup call to me. The only important thing is him. I could be so happy with him without even having a ring. i don’t know what I was thinking. But for all of you who may be unhappy with your ring, just think. Don’t wait until you’ve nearly lost your fiance to realize how much you love him and how insignficant the ring really is.
Post # 3
I’m so sorry he’s going through these things with his family. But it’s good that you see the important things in life. It’s true – the jewelry is fun and all, but the person is the real prize. 🙂 Take care of yourselves!
Post # 4
I am sorry this is happening to both of you. While we can’t control the actions of others we can control how we react to it. It is a good thing that he has you to help him weather this storm, and that is what love is all about, weathering the storms together. You both will make it through because you have each other.
Post # 5
Post # 6
I am sorry you are experiencing this….. we are supposed to leave our parents and cleave to our spouse, so while you are enduring this, look at it this way.. it will be an opportunity for you guys to grow closer together without the family’s interferance.
As far as the ring…. a couple of things…. The BEE is a good thing but it can be dangerous… You were probably really happy about your ring until you came here and saw others…. I have seen that happen many times… Second just remember the type and size of ring is not a measurement of how much your FI loves you… It is simply an expression of his love for you and and the declaration of his intent to make you his wife. There are plenty of people with big rings who are in divorce court.
I pray that you and your FI continue to support each other this process… You sound life a very self reflective young woman.. so stand strong on your convictions.
Post # 8
My prayers are with your FI. I’m also very glad that you have realised the ring is not what’s important 🙂
Post # 9
I’m sorry to hear about the problems, but I’m glad to hear you had that lightbulb moment and are now able to be more appreciative of what you have, without actually losing it (I thought this story was going to either about losing the ring or your fiance himself, I’m so glad it didn’t!)
Hoping your external situation restabilizes soon!
Post # 10
Thank you all! 🙂 He had a smaller breakdown for a third time, I’m praying this is finally settled. We are also in the process of filing for a fiance visa, and that’s really stressful in itself and quite pricey. It’s all very exhausting. His dad reconsidered, but I don’t know how long the peace will last for… I’m really just afraid of the meltdowns happening. I’m fully ready to support him financially but I can’t deal with the emotional trauma. He is looking for an apartment on his own now, because he sees he really does need to get away from his father.