Post # 1
So this is more just a vent as I don’t know who to talk to.
SO has had the ring that we chose together for almost 6 months now. He recently said that he was thinking of bringing the proposal more forward than the original timescale of next summer.
But I wanted to share what my ring looked like on these boards as someone asked me for a picture of what I was describing in a different thread.
I knew where the ring was, and had asked him loads of times to move it to somewhere where I didn’t know where it was, but he refused. So I knew where it was, and took it out to take a picture.
SO has access to my dropbox account, and I thought I had deleted the picture I took but I hadn’t, and he saw it last night. Now he is really upset as he says it was his choice when I saw the ring next, even if we chose it together, and he feels like I’ve ruined his thing. He is annoyed I didn’t even have the patience not to look at it until the time he proposed.
He doesn’t know about the bee, and so I couldn’t tell him that was the reason I took the picture.
I feel completely awful – I didn’t want to let him down, I was just so excited to share. And now I feel like I’ve ruined it for him.
What can I do to try and make things better? I’m so sad 🙁
Post # 3
@kellym83: You didn’t do such a bad thing, really. The best thing you can do is tell him the truth. He’ll forgive you, honey.
Post # 4
@kellym83: Well it’s really his fault because he didn’t hide the damn thing. Tell him to wake up and realize that you’re a girl who’s excited about the ring and what it means. Come on. He’s be unrealistic and torturing you. Don’t feel bad. It’s like leaving a candy bar on the floor and asking a kid not to eat it when you’re back is turned. Not fair!
Post # 5
i think that’s pretty mean of him. i mean, he bought the ring incredibly early, put it where you know it is, he knows you want it (obviously), then didn’t move it and wants you to not peek until potentially next summer?!
COME ON. yes, it’s a bummer that you peeked, but you certainly didn’t RUIN anything and he’s being needlessly dramatic.
he simply could have poked a little fun at you ‘you peeked! you’re so sneaky, i’ll have to get a new hiding place’ and moved on.
Post # 6
@kellym83: i think its irrelevant as you had already picked the ring togther, so the element of surprise will be when he proposes, not about the ring itself! you know that, assuming its not a custom designed ring you could easily look at it online too or something similar anyway!
hes being a drama queen!
Post # 7
@Bettyboo1982: +1 a total drama gueen
Post # 8
Well I already disagree with him before the picture part even came into play. Buying a ring a year before you plan on proposing? whyyyyyyy
Keeping it somewhere you know? whyyyyyyy
getting angry that you’re excited about your ring and took a picture since youre not allowed to have it for real for a damn year? UMMM FIND SOMETHING REAL TO GET UPSET OVER!
Post # 9
Don’t feel bad, he’s being ridiculous. You already know what it looks like anyway, and why has he had it for so long???
Post # 10
- Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID
@kellym83: just…tell him about the bee?
Post # 11
I disagree with everyone who says he’s being ridiculous. He wanted to propose, he bought the ring, and he asked you not to go looking at it. You ignored what he asked you to do, just to put a picture on the internet? Lots of people here don’t post pictures of their rings, or anything else, and no one gets offended. Just because some anonymous stranger asked you for a photo didn’t give you the right to ignore what your SO asked of you. I completely see why he’s upset.
You need to fess up about your reasons, tell him you posted the ring on the internet, and apologize for ignoring his wishes for no good reason.
Post # 12
@kellym83: I think he’s being a big baby.
Others might not agree with me but if I was treated in the way you were I would think he had some weird control issues. If he didn’t want you to look at the ring he should have made an effort to hide it. Furthermore what the heck is he waiting for to give it to you.
Post # 13
@abbie017: +1 You’re ruining your own surprise as well as upsetting your SO. I always knew where my Christmas rpesents were hidden as a child but my parents pointed out that if I looked, it made no difference to them, it just ruined the surprise for me. This is kind of the same thing. PP already knew what the ring looked like and could have put a stock photo from the internet if she was that bothered about putting a ring pic on the Bee. But even that I find a bit weird before he even proposed!
Post # 14
- Wedding: October 2013 - Vine Street Church
@Andthepupmakes3: My husband had my ring for a year and a half before proposing. People have their reasons for doing things and sometimes you just have to accept them.
Post # 15
@kellym83: My SO completely knows about the Hive and Weddingbee, knows I’m on waiting boards as a support group for my waiting and I that I’m also on here to dream up ideas about our wedding date.
For a while I used to hide it but eventually he was just like ‘what are you always typing about’ so one day I was very honest and told him I was talking to bees about ring porn (LOL)!!
I voted you should tell him. AND I don’t think he should be making you feel bad about this. FWIW—I would have done the same thing. I’ve asked my SO a few times about us picking out the ring TOGETHER and he’s made it clear that it’s something he wants to do by himself and surprise me. If your SO wanted to surprise you, he should not have had you help pick out the ring!!
Post # 16
Why are you guys waiting till next summer to get engaged? (After 6 months of already having the ring?) Long engagements are fine. Is he ready?
Maybe he is afraid that you are already showing it to your friends and such…
My DH is not that patient, lol.
One weekend we are talking about getting married in the futur to near futur, and one week later he had a ring and got down on one knee, lol.
He is always like this with gifts, can wait to give them, can’t wait to open them. Lol.