Post # 1
… because the moment I put him diwn he cries. Not just fussy cries – angry and terribly sad cries. I hold him all day too. My husband comes hime from work and asks if I have put him down at all and the answer is no, unless it is into the car seat if we go somewhere.
At night I sit in our big comfy sofa chair in our room and sleep all night there just holding him. He’s a great night-sleeper! But I am suffering because of it. Sleeping sitting up for one or two nights – not so bad; 6 weeks straight (with the exception of my husband taking over now and then) – terrible.
He is only 6 weeks old. I cannot put him in his bassinett and watch him scream and lose his breath crying to be held. I just can’t do it. It is too awful to see him that upset. What can I do?? Anyone go through this?? I know that continuing to hold him will not only hurt me, it will be worse for him when we do put him in his crib eventually and make it 10x harder yo get used to.
Post # 3
No expert here, but my brother did the same thing (there’s a 13 year age gap between us, which is why I remember). It got to the point where whoever was putting him down got stuck rocking him to sleep every night but it took quite a while. He wasn’t at the point where yours is, but he was fast on his way there. My parents finally had enough, and over the course of several days, they’d put him in the crib, kiss him goodnight, sing, etc, and then leave. He’d scream. They’d go back in, pat his back and stuff, and then leave. This got repeated at intervals starting at a couple minutes, then 5, 10, 15, etc, getting to longer intervals each time. It was rather awful but after a few days the problem was solved and he’d go to sleep on his own.
From the perspective of someone who doesn’t have kids but has been around them quite a bit with siblings much younger than myself, it sounds like your baby needs to learn to be put down. He won’t die from crying, harsh as it sounds; just do little intervals of putting him down for a few minutes at a time through out the day and after a few days he might get used to it. Or, keep carrying him all day and start cosleeping so you can at least lie down. However, if he’s anything like my sibs or my friend’s kid, it may not go away.
Best of luck and hopefully some other moms will have better advice! this is something in particular I’m dreading having to face on my own since it’s always easy to give advice when it’s someone else’s child (even a sibling!) but I don’t know how well I’ll do when it’s my own 😉
ETA – that middle paragraph up there might have come across a little harsh. Didn’t intend it that way, I’m multitasking and didn’t proofread. Everything’s meant to be as encouraging as possible without offering just to take the baby for an hour so you can nap haha!
Post # 4
@BearyLovely: dies he have reflux? I would rule out a medical issue.
Next: swaddle him. I looooove the swaddleme blankets. Try another place to sleep- almost all babies love the rock n play.
Post # 5
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
I don’t know how to make this happen for you because my daughter is a pretty good sleeper and always has been, but you need to stop holding him. He’s becoming dependant on it and that has to stop. It’s probably going to take some iron will. I’d talk to your pediatrican and consider seeing an infant sleep specialist if possible.
Some offhand suggestions: Are you swaddling? Are you using a pacifier? Have you started establishing a bedtime routine? Are you using white noise?
Post # 6
Sometimes you just need to let them cry it out. Right now he is so used to having someone hold him that of course he will cry when put down. Sometimes you just need to put him down and go take a few minute breather. It isn’t going to hurt him to let him cry few minutes.
I agree with the pp try swaddling or soothing music or some kind of other object to get him interested in something
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
Try swaddling and white noise?
Post # 8
@BearyLovely: I’m so sorry to hear this!
The number on thing I think you should keep in mind is that it will not go on like this forever. Keep in mind there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and it’s probably coming within a matter of days or weeks. As you know, infants grow and change so quickly! So try to keep your spirits up.
Will his sleep if he’s lying on your chest?
Post # 9
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
PS If you do decide to let him cry, at that age 5 min. is really the max you should let a baby bad cry. But you can wait those five minute, pick him up, calm him down, and do it again.
Post # 11
@CoffeeBeanKate: Thank you for your response! I did not read that as if you were being too harsh, no worries.
Post # 12
6-8 weeks is the worst. We were in the same position at 8 weeks. One of us held him All.Night.Long. Or he slept on my chest in bed, but even then, he woke every hour. He would not let us put him down.
I echo PPs. Swaddling might help you quite a bit if you aren’t already doing it. Also, a bouncy seat/swing/rock ‘n’ play. Perhaps not the safest option, but I think far safer than having him in your arms in a recliner (and I’m not judging–we slept like that a long time, because we were trying to avoid a swing, when giving in and making swing sleeping as safe as possible would have been the safer option for us.)
Know that it will pass. I promise. Even my 13 month old who still wakes up every night got better. Slowly. It’s been a journey. But in a month, things will be so different. I’m not guaranteeing it will be better, but their needs change so quickly that this is not forever.
I’m sorry. I remember this time so well. It’s so hard.
*ETA: Although we have done some crying-it-out, I would say 6 weeks is pretty young for cry-it-out. 5 minutes here or there for your sanity or to see if he can get himself to sleep is fine, but at 6 weeks, I wouldn’t leave him to cry until he falls asleep. Most docs/experts recommend starting CIO between 4 and 6 months, if you choose it.
Post # 13
@mamadingdong: I don’t believe he has acid reflux. I swaddle him and he responds well to that. He loves when we swaddle and snuggle him. It is just putting him down that is the issue- he cries almost immediately, even when he’s tightly swaddled 🙁
Post # 14
Have you tried swaddles or a warm watterbottle in the bed with him?
Post # 15
@mrsSonthebeach: He only takes a pacifier very randomly. 80% of the time he refuses it. In fact the last time he took one was Monday (I remember bc it was the bachelor night!)
Admittedly we dont have an established bed time routine. I suppose we shoukd start one? And once we do, do I use the same technique for naps during the day?
Post # 16
@BearyLovely: Yes! A bedtime routine is really important. And as he gets older, you’ll want there to be time between feeding and bed, but for now, just a routine that gives him the idea that it’s time for night is so important. Dim lights, super consistent, and then nighttime.
You don’t have to do the full-on night routine for naps. For example, our bedtime routine is: Dinner (used to be a nursing session), bath, PJs, books with Dad, prayers and songs with mom, into crib awake. Naps are 1 book, 2 songs, in the crib.
White noise will really help, too, if you aren’t using it already.
My guy never took a paci either. I feel like I’m talking to myself a year ago. No joke.