Post # 1
SO here is my amazing story:
I was asked a couple of months ago to be in my friends wedding as a BM, and I had been planning on asking her to be in mine, so I did it at that moment. So we were going to be in each others’ weddings. Oh Happy DaY!
Well, one day about 4 months before her wedding, she decides to have the bridesmaids FINALLY get together and choose their dresses. So I comply and I plan to drive about 2 hours north, where she lives, after work.
Well, stuff happens and I had to drive the Fiance home and then drive to my friend’s house. That put me 30 minutes behind.
So I started driving out when it was dark out and rainy and foggy. I nearly killed myself on every turn! I was nervous as hell.
So two hours later, I get into what I think is her town, but turns out I got off the interstate one exit early, so she gave me directions and I continued on my way. A minute later she calls me, except it’s her friend Ashley using her phone and she tells me "Hey it’s Ashley. Kate told me to tell you to nevermind. It’s getting late and everyone wants to go home"
So I drove two hours and every one that lives 20 minutes away want to get home??
Fine, whatever. I call the fiance and let him know I am headed home and why.
About 30 minutes from home it dawns on me: Kate is the type of person that would hold this against me and make it out to be a slight against her… well I had NO idea how right I was!
A half hour after getting home (after 3 1/2 hours of driving), she sends me a message online saying that I am immature, condescending, competitive, etc etc and that she isn’t going to be in my wedding "after the way things went tonight" and that she doesn’t want me in hers. She also says that ""she doesn’t know where this takes our friendship, but I am done with it"
So I was P.O.’d but I said, what the F ever, she wants to be an immature W., that is fine! (trying to censor my language haha)
So I have tons of other names I have called her whenever I mention this story, but I haven’t spoken to her since, it’s been about a month or more and I have not missed her.
Even though I am down 1 bridesmaid and the fiance has stated that he wants 4 men on his side, I am not fretting. I think I will have my MOH, 2 bridesmaids and a male bridesmaid. NONE of my other girls have caused me ANY drama so far, and I would HATE to mess that good streak up, so I am just going to have either my gay friend or my younger brother.
But honestly, I am trying to not let things bother me anymore. I am doing this wedding MY WAY and my mother in law can kiss my A because she’s had her wedding, so she is staying out of my business haha
Ok, I’ve said all I need to say. Except this: DON"T let ANYONE bully you when it comes to YOUR day! IT’S YOUR DAY!! The last thing I want is to look back and say "I wish I had just said no to this, or chosen this instead of going with what she said" or "I wish I hadn’t been such a pushover"
Please just be your own bride! Don’t let stupid people ruin it!
Love to all!
Crystal (soon-to-be) Lewis
Post # 3
Yikes! All I know is your side of things but I’m gonna say what an ungrateful so & so! I wonder how much of the "wanting to go home" was the other BMs and how much was HER! We’re not having a Bridal party but I know anyone I’d have chosen would have had to drive AT LEAST 2 hours to be here and I would be so GRATEFUL that they would be willing to do that! And she says YOU’RE immature?! WOW!
I have no words of advice except just keep saying to yourself that she’s NOT worth your time!
Post # 4
Oh man. I’ msorry your Bm did that to you. That is unfair. Do you plan on talking to her ever? I guess if it was me I would try to explain (e-mail, phone message) what the story was. Although it would be to hopefully make her feel like a jerk, and not to repair the friendship (in this case.) -Ugg sorry to say. I’m TO for you.
Have a wonderful wedding, though.
Post # 5
I realized after getting that message from her that there was no repairing the friendship. She wanted to see things that way and she was going to, so there was no point in telling her off or explaining that she was wrong in this decision (and I wanted to, believe me!) but I decided to take the high road and just let it be.
I haven’t spoken to or tried to contact her since. I’m done, I don’t like high school drama, and I’m too old for it.
I just hope that I’m the only one on here who has to deal with losing a friend AND bridesmaid haha
I wish you all luck and give out tons of hugs! Let’s have this be a great time in our life, shall we?
Post # 6
Wow, I’m so sorry for the drama and immaturity, but it sounds like you’ve made peace with the situation, so I’m glad for you!
Post # 7
Wow, that is quite a situation. I would let it roll off your back, and forget about it. It’s a blessing in disguise that she’s not going to be a BM of yours.
When it comes to your big day, you only need to be surrounded by those who are going to drama-free and stress-free!! God has given you and easy out. =)
Post # 8
Good for you for getting over that. I would be so bitter and angry… Was there another reason why she was so mad and willing to ruin everything? It couldn’t have just been that you were late, right? Unless she was crazy pants?
Post # 9
I’d just forget her. She seems to over react, pretty severly and I would try to just put it behind me and move on. As far as the fourth bridesmaid, choose who you’re going to look back and enjoy having in that position. When planning my wedding, I’ve heard my mom say several times how she wishes she hadn’t had this person because now they aren’t around, etc. Good for you for working through it!
Post # 10
Good for you for moving on! It’s hard, I know. I have a crazy bridesmaid who is non-stop complaining and trying to take credit for my ideas (she even thinks she picked out my dress and I chose it because she liked it! WHAT?!?! It’s my dream dress and it had nothing to do with her!). I am thisclose to asking her to not be in the wedding cause I can’t handle her drama. My wedding planning has been virtually stress free besides her.
Thanks for sharing! It helps to hear that I am not the only one with a crazy friend! haha!