Post # 1
So, I wrote a while ago about how my BF has my grandmother’s ring and how he’s supposedly proposing by the end of the month. Well, I’ve been trying really hard to be patient but I found out last night that he hasn’t even dropped the ring off to be fixed yet.
Well, that knowledge led me to eventual tears last night, ending up with us in a fight and him going to bed partially angry still. I hate that I keep doing this. He told me that he wonders sometimes whether I just want to get married for the sake of getting married, not because of him. That just makes me so desperately sad. I love him so so much and I just want to be able to put all this nonsense behind us. I know that engagement is SO close and yet I can’t help being anxious and now I feel like he’s just going to propose to shut me up! Sorry, this is just kind of a pity party but I figured this was the only place on earth where someone might understand. None of my friends are in the same situation so it’s hard to vent to anyone about my frustrations and clearly talking to my BF is NOT a good idea as it just leads to us both being angry… 🙁
Post # 3
Breathe and be patient! I know it sucks, but once you stop nagging him about engagement and timelines, he will come around. SO and I have had a wonderful two weeks since I decided to stop talking about the wedding. When men see that their women are wedding sick, they wonder if they want a wedding or a marriage. If you know he’s going to do it, just enjoy that fact and don’t expect a timeline.
Post # 4
I think he asked a valid question, because the engagement talk can make it really look like that’s all you care about (I’m not saying that’s all you’re about, just that it sort of looks like it). I agree with Miss Tattoo–relax, and he’ll come around.
Post # 5
We are very emotional creatures and it is hard when you love someone so much all you want to do is start the rest of your life with them and they take it as something completely different. I used almost these exact words when I talked to my FI because he was worried about the same thing. When we decided we were ready to be engaged it was like a race to the finish line… When is he going to do it? How is he going to do it? Did he get the ring yet? Will he do it while we are on vacation? Just sit down and tell him that being engaged isn’t just about being engaged it is something that is important to you and just apologize for pressuring him. It will happen, at least he has the ring 🙂 Everything will work out the way that it is supposed to and you will be soo happy together!
Post # 6
My FI got frustrated with me a few times while I was waiting. The last time we talked I explained to him how waiting has caused me a great deal of stress and the reason he has to hear about it is because he’s the person I go to when I’m upset, regardless of what I’m upset about.
I told him how I wanted to be a family, that it bothered me that he already considered me family, but hadn’t made the long term commitment yet. I explained that having to call him my ‘boyfriend’ bothered me, that he was so much more, but we didn’t have the plans to get married. I wanted him to understand that me talking aobut marriage and getting frustrated with waiting, wasn’t because I wanted a wedding, but because I wanted the security and movement/progression in our lives together. Also, it wouldn’t have been so bad waiting if I wasn’t being badgered by everyone else in my life about it, not that that is a reason to get married, but it added to my stress and he was the one I took my frustrations out on and talked to about it. So, even though it may have seemed like my priorities weren’t right, they were.
Just try to stay off the subject with him if you can, and if you are confused about where he stands and why, tell him. I told my FI before we got engaged that the waiting was confusing me, why keep waiting? I started to feel like maybe something was holding him up that I didn’t know about? Was something wrong with the relationship…. he reassured me that he loved me and had every intention of marrying me, that he was happy and confident in our relationship and I had nothing to worry about, he saw his life being with me. I trust him and trusted what he said and now we are engaged. But the time had to be right for him, as well as me. And I’m happy now that he did i when he was ready.
sorry so long, but waiting is confusing and there’s no easy thing about it.
Post # 7
Thanks everyone. I appreciate the suggestions. I guess I just get frustrated because it seems like such a silly thing to waiting for. I mean, we’ve discussed the fact that we want to get married and spend the rest of our lives together. I’m excited that he wants the proposal to be special, it’s just hard as someone put it to still have to call him my boyfriend while I wait for the special proposal. My dad actually asked my sister recently if we were “serious.” I don’t want people to wonder about that! Anyway, thanks again for all your input. I’ll do my best to focus on the rest of my life and not mention it to him again!