- 3 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
I just have to share this crazy story; I’m not sure there’s much I can do it about things now but it’s totally unjust and illegal. I’ll try to keep it as short as possible…
In July of this year, I moved across the country for a new job at a university after finishing my PhD in June. In March, I asked my future boss if I could take off 2 weeks for my wedding and 2 other Mondays for a good friend’s wedding and my bridal shower. She said it was fine and never mentioned it again. The first month was great, and then the sh!t hit the fan.
We had some miscommunications about what she wanted from me. She wants very specific things but isn’t good at articulating. She seems to think that bullying and intimidating is a way to get people to do what she wants. I tried very hard to ask more questions and do what she wanted, and it seemed like we were on good terms before I left for my wedding on 9/24. I have an email from her saying that my work was “fantastic,” that she got my a wedding gift, and to have a wonderful wedding and honeymoon.
Then I get back on 10/10 and she’s like a different person. She had hired another part-time person who I think was supposed to be taking over my job. We had a meeting on 10/10 and she was attacking my performance but I tried to smooth it over and got 3 tasks she wanted me to do by 10/14. I did all of those things over the weekend, but in our meeting on 10/14 she was just horrible. She went off on me about taking time off for my wedding, not being excited enough about the work, being distracted, not looking her in the eye (what?!), etc. I told her I would try harder and work harder and she told me that she wasn’t going to fire me but I had a day or two to decide if I was going to quit.
Of course she can’t force me to quit, so I went to HR to get help. They convinced me to file a formal complaint against her, so I did. Then on 10/17 she called me into a meeting to fire me. I’m certain she found out I went to HR, but of course there’s no proof. I went back to HR, but since I was no longer an employee they basically didn’t give a cr@p about me. They told me they would talk with my former boss to see if she would let me resign rather than having a firing on my record, since I was trying to quit the whole time! I consulted with an attorney and he said basically the situation sucks and to try to get the resignation and walk away.
So now I’m in a new state, I’ve been back from my honeymoon for about a week, and I’m unemployed and have to find a new job! Even though I have a PhD, I’m really not qualified for much. Thankfully, I have a wonderful husband, he has a new job he loves with health insurance I can get on (after we got married early to get him on my health insurance), we had a beautiful wedding, a wonderful honeymoon, and we love where we live and there are a lot of industry opportunities for me. It’s just so dissappointing, humiliating, and down right unfair!