Weddingbee boards

So, somehow in the process of the past two days, I have not only lost two girls as my bridesmaids, but as my friends as well.

They have been sort of a pain through the whole process. No dates worked for them, they couldn't afford this or that (which really wasn't true, because they were getting pedicures, out at the bar every night, buying new laptops, etc.) It was more like they didn't choose to spend their money on things not for them.

Anyway, they were off in their own little world at a bridesmaids' slumber party this weekend and really just hung out with eachother. (I introduced them and now they are like BFF) They complained about everything, even having to get their makeup done, saying they would probably just redo it after anyway.

We had to change my bach party ideas four times because of them. So, when I finally said "Ok, I won't have a bach party, lets just go out after my shower" They said they were planning on leaving my shower early, because it was N's dad's birthday. (Which we had changed the shower date twice to avoid it being on the same weekend) So when I asked why L then couldn't come, she said she was going with N.

Long story short, I left and wrote them a nice e-mail, stating that I was not mad at all, but that I wish I could communicate with them individually and did not understand why they come as a package now. I said it super nice and genuinely didn't want to start a fight.

I got two 19-paragraph repsonses back saying horrible things about me as a person and I need to get over myself and that their life is not a fairytale like mine, it is reality. (I have four children and one is severely disabled.)

Anyway, they continued to attack me via e-mail and I only responded with how sorry I was if it came wrong and I didn't understand what they were upset about. I have been awesome to bridesmaids, letting them pick whatever dress they want. I took them shopping last weekend and let them pick out clutches and earrings. I am paying for their hotel and throwing them a spa pedi party.

After hours of e-mails, I leave to take my soon to be step-daughters to their first dress fitting with my mother in-law. When they realize I am away from the computer, they begin text messaging me with horrible things and finally saying they will not be in my wedding. They said my wedding will be a joke, with black dressed bitches going down the aisle, etc.

I spent two hours crying hysterically. Partly about my wedding, but mostly about the shock. How could anyone do this to me.

I let one of them live with me for six months rent free (I even bought her groceries) because she was struggling.

My heart is broken and I guess I just wanted to vent. I am so terrified my wedding is going to be tainted by this. :(

WOW  HUGS to you.  I have no real advice, just try to remember that it does not matter who is walking down the aisle before you, it is who is standing at the end of it waiting for you.  Best of luck.

It seems absolutely ridiculous that they would go out on an all-out attack to demean you and talk $h!t about your wedding and how you're living, etc. To say those kinds of things that came out of their month, you're better off not having those kinds of friends. If they had any ounce of class or respect they would have responded to you in a much different way. You can be honest to people but there's no need to be nasty.

Just think about it... they've probably have been saying those exact hateful words behind your back for who knows how long. Keep you head up high and move forward. Don't let them take anything away from your special day. You'll be relieved now that you don't have to deal with their difficult and selfish behavior anymore.

You can just tell those girls that you respect their decision and wish them the best. Be the better person.

Oh and when you're walking down the aisle on your wedding day... you can smile and fantasize about giving them a big F-U. :)

I can not believe that they would do that to you.  I agree that they must be extremely jealous and/or selfish.  I can relate a bit since recently I recieved a 5 page email from an co-worker/friend (well not a friend anymore). Telling me that everyone in the office hates me and I am a horrible selfish person and on and on about every little thing I have ever done that has pissed her off.  It hurt alot and my self-esteem has still not recovered from it. Try not to let them get you down.  You don't want people like that in your life anyways and you especially don't want people like that around you on your wedding day.  I just wish people would realize how much words hurt.  BIG HUG!!!!!!

I'm really sorry to hear about the troubles you've had with them. It sounds like they were WAY out of line and that they're just selfish and jealous. I don't know what it is about weddings that seems to bring out the worst in some people. I also don't get the whole "my life is not a perfect fairytale like yours"- I had a now ex-friend pull that same crap with me via email as well but fortunately she wasn't really involved with the wedding in any way.

I'm with some of the other responses: Maybe it was for the better and they weren't such good friends after all. I hope your wedding is amazing though and you are able to move past this.

Thank you everyone so very much for your nice words!

Karma is a bitch! I know it will be on their regret list someday and I am better off that it happened now instead of closer to the wedding or on my wedding day.

It just sucks when I spend my life doing for people and get hurt. Plus, I have struggled for so many years as a single mom and I finally have the life I have worked so very hard for. Why can't people be happy for me just because they aren't happy with themselves, ya know?

I am moving forward and not looking back! My male best friend was a groomsman anyway, so I just called him and told him I am promoting him to a bridesman, so things are more even.

Thanks again for the nice words, I really needed it!

i just lost a bm today, and after some tears, i am trying my darndest do look on the bright side of things.

in a few days i hope it may actually be a relief for you to have them out of the wedding party, so you can go on with the wedding surrounded by those that truly care for you.