Post # 1
I have been having issues with intimacy for a while now, but I assumed if I just relaxed these issues would go away. Not so. I love Darling Husband, I am immensely attracted to him, I WANT to have sex with him, but it’s too physically painful. we do have sex regularly, but 97% of the time we have to stop midway through because I am in severe pain. Then, when we try to continue its almost like my vagina will not let him back in. Im ashamed and embarrassed, and I don’t know what’s going on. It’s always been this way but its gotten worse as of late. I’ve now lost desire to have sex because I’m scared of the pain. I also get UTIs all the time, despite using the bathroom before and after sex (always!) I’m writing this to see of there are any other news like this. I have tried going slow with him, we’ve tried working up to sex by using one finger, then two etc. I’ve gotten drunk to see if that would help (it didn’t). I’ve exhausted every method I can think of to help with the pain. But it’s almost like my body does not want sex. Darling Husband, wonderful man that be is, is okay with a sexless marriage (since there are other ways to please each other), but we both want kids and I WANT to have sex with him..I just can’t! Is this common? I’ve also never O’d from penetration alone but I know that is normal. Is there ANYTHING I can do to fix this? Also, using dilators did not work either. I probably should have made an anonymous account but I am so upset I don’t mind right now using my real one..and I feel so alone.
Post # 3
Also, I’m on my I phone so I know I have made a few mistakes. Sorry!
Post # 4
Have you been to a doctor? That would be my first suggestion!!
Post # 5
Soooo sorry you are going through this!I would definitely see a DR if I were you. Just wondering, what makes it painful? Are you wet enough? Is it painful inside? By your ovaries? Just wondering.. what kind of pain is it?
Post # 6
Have you tried therapy? There are some women who produce emotional symptoms in the exact way you’re describing.
Post # 7
Don’t worry. You haven’t exhausted all your options. The doctor is the next step and, honestly, given how much it is affecting you I’m surprised you haven’t seen one sooner. I’m sorry I can’t offer more than that but given the complicated nature of the situation it certainly sounds like you need a medical professional to look into the situation. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I can imagine it’s very upsetting. Hopefully your doctor will be able to offer a solution that will fix the problem. Hope things work out soon sweetie.
Post # 8
I agree with what PP’s have said, but wanted to add that you are not alone. I’ve heard these sort of symptoms from other women. Just do a quick search on weddingbee and you will see your symptoms are not unheard of.
Post # 9
You should go see the doctor just make sure everything is okay inside you. If everything is okay, then you may want to try lubricant?
Post # 10
Sorry to hear you are having a difficult time I agree wIth PPs, you should go see a doctor. I watched a true life episode where several women had the same problems and it was very difficult for them. You should definitely talk with a doctor.
Post # 11
I actually saw a wedding-related TV show that featured a woman who had what sounded like this same problem. She and her husband sought counseling and medical advice, at first to no avail, and considered divorcing over this issue. Eventually, someone was able to offer them help, but I don’t recall any of the details. I may be mistaken, but I think this may have been on TLC at some point within the last year.
Post # 12
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
Are you on birth control? (I know ou said you want to have children, but I don’t know if you mean now or in general.) I had similar problems when I was on hormonal BC and once I stopped, I was fine after my body readjusted… maybe like a month later I saw some improvements and by a few months later, I wanted to have sex all the freaking time.
Post # 13
It sounds like you may have vaginismus. This is a medical condition and can be treated! Please, please go see your gynecologist; she or he should be able to give you treatment options and possibly send you to a pelvic floor specialist. Best of luck.
Post # 14
Go see your doctor!! And soon! There could be many causes to painful intercourse, and some of them require medical attention! It may seem embarassing to you, but this is not uncommon and your doctor will not think you are weird or crazy for having this problem! It could be a number of things from Pelvic Inflammatory Disease, Ovarian Cysts, or problems with your ovaries or utuerus. It could also be that there are no physical problems. Either way I think it is important to see a physician to rule any of those things out! You only have one vagina to take care of 🙂
Post # 15
Have you heard of a condition called vaginismus? I’m definitely not trying to diagnose you over the Internet or anything, but I’ve read a little bit about it and it sounds like what you described. A doctor will be able to help!
Post # 16
Painful sex can be caused by a multitude of things: eg sharp, stabbing, or cramping pains deep inside, particularly with deep penetration, can indicate endometriosis, ovarian cysts, or a pelvic infection; burning or stinging can be caused by infections inc thrush, or by an allergy to something you’re using (eg latex or lubricant; some women are even allerhic to semen), or by vaginal dryness; and a tight, stretching pain is often down to psychological issues inc. vaginismus. So the type of pain you experience will probably rule some of those in/out.
If I were you, I would first see your GP to rule out physical problems; the fact you get frequent UTIs could point to some kind of infection or allergy, so I’d want swabs done to rule out all infections, and also ask about allergies/see if you can have an allergy test.
Second, the tightness you experience when he attempts to enter again is probably psychological: if the sex has been painful, you will likely be involuntarily tensing, and you may also find that any natural lubricant dries up, making sex doubly painful. If there is a physical cause of the initial pain, then I would hope this would ease once that issue has been addressed; if all the pain is psychological, it’s harder to tackle but not impossible, and I would suggest seeing a sex therapist; they can give you exercises to build you up slowly, as well as counselling to address the cause of the problem.
But whatever you do, don’t suffer in silence. In the meantime, take the focus completely off penetrative sex: instead, focus on mutual masturbation, oral sex, massage etc; you can be intimiate and have fun without having full sex.