(Closed) I love him… I just don't love his name.

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5668 posts
Bee Keeper

I don’t know why you would just have to suck it up. It’s your name, not his. If you want to change it or hyphenate it really doesn’t affect him. If he’s not really up for changing his name, why should you have to suck it up and have to change yours?

Post # 4
Member
4356 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

My fiance’s name is not great either, and definitely a downgrade from my own but I’m taking it without any second thought. It’s a tradition that is important to both of us so it’s just something I’ll have to get used to.

Is this tradition something you thought you’d honour previously? Like if his name was nicer, would you want to change your name?

Post # 5
Member
807 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Sorry but I’ve said before on here, getting him to change his name completely could cause amajor rift within his family. 

Post # 6
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

It’s hard to get used to the idea. I started practicing my new signature and playing with my name in Microsoft Word, looking at it with different fonts. I like my maiden name better (didn’t have to spell it out) but I really wanted to have the same last name. I struggled a lot with the decision but I’m glad in the end that I took his name, mostly because we plan to have children together.

We’ve been married nearly a year and it still doesn’t flow off the tip of my tongue (or pen for that matter!) but I’ve got a lifetime to get used to it.

Post # 7
Member
10369 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

You don’t think you could make him change his name, but it’s ok for him to make you change yours.

Seriously – re-examine that last sentence. You have your own identity. Keep it if you don’t like his.

Post # 8
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

You have to live with that name for life, as do your kids, so it’s important you feel comfortable with it. How about a hyphenated name (or a new one as you said) just for you? I know a couple who made a new name. He was King and she was Horne so they made Kinghorn and both took it.

Post # 9
Member
1726 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

You really like your last name, too, I assume. Why does the fact that you he likes his name trump the fact that you like your name?

Post # 11
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Suck it up until he denies you the window seat on your flight to Vegas.

Then marry Adam Sander instead.

Post # 12
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@LR2012:  ha there should be a way to favourite posts on here!!! You just won yourself a favourite Misses!

Post # 13
Member
1851 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I think it’s kind of close minded of him to say no to you using both of your last names…what does it really concern him if you choose to hyphenate or just add his on? I would say that you do what you are comfortable with. You obviously seem to want to make him happy, but don’t do that at the cost of your own happiness. Ultimately this is YOUR name…what people will identify YOU as, not him. And there are so many options. There must be something he would be okay with.

Options (If your name was Mid Western Charm and his last name was Smith):

Mid Western Charm (if you kept yours)

Mid Western Charm Smith (if you added his)

Mid Western Charm-Smith (if you hyphenated)

Mid Western Smith (if you dropped yours and just used his)

Mid Charm Smith (if you dropped your middle and moved your maiden name to the middle and his name would be your new last name)

Mid Smith Charm (his last name is now your middle)

Mid Western Chmith (if you combined your last names)

You could also ask that he take your last name as a middle name and you both share the same last name (his)

These are just some of the options out there. Don’t make yourself unhappy with this kind of decision. I personally feel like names carry a lot of weight.

 

Post # 15
Member
4328 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@LR2012:  That’s so funny, because I thought of that movie too! You beat me to it. 

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